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    Sister Dana sez, “I think the biggest APRIL FOOL’S joke of all would have to be Donald Trump as President.”

    Sister-Dana2

    By Sister Dana Van Iquity

    Sister Dana sez, “I think the biggest APRIL FOOL’S joke of all would have to be Donald Trump as President. But if it’s a joke, why ain’t I laughin’?!”

    KREWE DE KINQUE, the Mardi Gras themed social club and fundraising organization, put on our magnificent BAL MASQUE XIII, SAINTS & SINNERS at Beatbox. The evening began (Laissez les bons temps rouler = “Let the good times roll” in French) with fantastic music spun by DJ Tweaka Turner and a VIP Southern Buffet by Krewe de Kinque members. Mistress of Ceremonies was illustrious KDK Member Donna Sachet who introduced King XII Gio Adame & Queen XII Cotton Candy, who were stepping down to make way for the newest royals. The National Anthem by KDK Member Aaron Priskorn on the horn, was followed by Mason Jeffrys, Associate Director, Dolores Street Community Services, on behalf of our beneficiary, JAZZIE’S PLACE – the first SF shelter for LGBTQ homeless people. Then Celebrity Grand Marshal Ethel Merman led the Second Line Parade all around the club – marching and dancing in a kinda conga line to the tune of “When the Saints Go Marchin’ In.” Fabulous entertainment ensued with KDK Queen X Kitty Tapata – “Blow Gabriel Blow;” KDK Queen II Deana Dawn – “Go To Hell” by Dolly Parton; KDK Member Lady Cuki Couture & Ehra Amaya- “Do What You Want;” KDK Queen XII Cotton Candy – “When You’re Good to Mama” from Chicago; Ethel Merman – “Higher the Hair, Closer to Heaven,” a live rock singing set. INTERMISSION & DANCING was followed with ACT II: KDK King X Kippy Marks, Damien Alvarez & Rheo Tan – “The Devil Made Me an Angel” with Kippy on electric violin; The Rev. Diana Wheeler – “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” (where “the Boy” was Jesus Christ, of course); Grand Duke Aja Monet-Ashton & Grand Duchess Olivia Hart – “Mardi Gras Mambo;” KDK Member Nicole Monsoon – the iconic “Iko Iko;” and KDK Queen VIII Garza – “Fantasy.” Finally it was time for the Crowning of KDK King XIII & Queen XIII with congratulations to the new Queen XIII China Silk and the new King XIII Sergio. KDK King VII John Weber did a final number leading up to the KDK Tableaux Finale with the current and past royals (including Queen VII Sister Dana, the naughty nun in red, waving the official KDK flag). sfkinque.com

    Over 300 members and friends of CASTRO/UPPER MARKET COMMUNITY BENEFIT DISTRICT gathered at The Patio in the Castro for a TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION as a benefit for CASTRO CARES, a unique community collaborative effort addressing quality of life issues with compassion, outreach to the homeless, and added enforcement. A huge banner depicted photos of volunteers in the Castro, including Sister Kitty Catalyst and Sister Dana doing outreach as gay nuns. Emcee Donna Sachet welcomed the speakers. California State Senator Mark Leno thanked the C/UMC for keeping the Castro district alive and well for a decade, and noted all the improvements made over the years. “It takes a village,” he said, “and a village is here tonight.” He presented a framed certificate of recognition from the Senate. Supervisor Scott Wiener, a Castro resident for 19 years, said, “The work the Community Benefit District does means the world to me.” He presented a certificate of recognition from the Board of Supervisors. State Assemblyman David Chiu also sent a certificate. Castro CBD Executive Director Andrea Aiello thanked event host Les Natali for donating the venue, and acknowledged all the restaurants that participated. She accredited former Supervisor Bevan Dufty for helping to create CBD when he was in office. Speaking of the non-glamorous duties, Aiello mentioned that CBD removes approximately 12,000 pounds of garbage every month. And as for the glamorous, she said Castro Ambassadors welcome approximately 10,000 visitors every month. Apothecarium SF co-founder and Castro Cares sponsor Ryan Hudson led us in a toast “to ten more years and more!” Among the event sponsorships and the donations received, we helped raise $20,447 for Castro Cares. castrocares.org

    PIANOFIGHT & DARK ROOM PRODUCTIONS presented BATMAN: THE TV SHOW LIVE as a brilliant parody of the classic – written and directed by Jim Fourniadis and starring Thomas Apley (as Batman), Tim Kay (Alfred the loyal butler), Eric Johnson (Robin his sappy sidekick), Lauren Davidson (Aunt Harriet), and evil villains Becky Hirschfeld (Catwoman), Christian Simonsen (The Riddler),  Jim Jeske (The Penguin), Ira Emsig (Green Hornet, Commissioner Gordon), Charles Young (Kato), and Sean McGinn (The Joker). Props to Erin Ohanneson for props facilitator and costumer. Dark Room always produces hilarious parodies. Don’t miss ‘em! pianofight.com

    CASTRO THEATRE shows the best movies, and is a real bargain during matinees. I viewed two Oscar-nominated films, Spotlight and The Big Short with a very small audience each time, so we had our choice of great seats. castrotheatre.com

    The fabulous WINE TRAIN PRIDE RIDE was a uniquely spectacular event on the historic NAPA VALLEY WINE TRAIN supporting Bay Area LGBTQ communities by benefiting the groundbreaking RICHMOND/ERMET AID FOUNDATION. REAF Executive Director Ken Henderson spoke about all the charitable organizations that REAF serves. The event began with a chorus of popped corks – a delightful tasting of JCB’s outstanding No. 69 Crémant de Bourgogne with pianist Andrew Moore setting the intimate mood. We sipped the pink-hued bubbles while mingling with prominent Napa Valley LGBT wine professionals Cezanne Hendricks, Christopher Barefoot, Eric Murray, Ryan Graham, David Mahaffey, and Theresa Heredia. I was most fortunate to be seated with Eric Murray, who schooled me all about wines, and we also shared our deepest, darkest secrets. Scandalous! We enjoyed an exquisite multi-course culinary experience created by executive chef Kelly Macdonald. Eric and I did swordfish in coconut sauce. Yummy. As we traveled the picturesque Napa Valley on a three-hour excursion combining the very best in dining and wining, we rode along the historic rail corridor on board perfectly appointed and lovingly restored antique Pullman cars more than 100 years old. It felt like a modernized Orient Express. We explored all the trains from caboose to engine, and even got to witness the coupling of two trains. Sexy! winetrain.com, reaf-sf.org

    COMING UP!

    BAD FLOWER PRODUCTIONS and THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE will help kick off The Sisters’ Annual Easter Weekend with the wildly fun and outrageous 5th annual SING-ALONG JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR at San Francisco’s oldest operating theater, The Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, $15-35 sliding scale. The Good Friday event will be hosted on March 25th, 7pm, by local transgender musician, StormMiguel Florez and Sister Phyliss Withe Litaday, and will feature a costume contest including a prize for Best Chunky Jesus! There may even be free palm fronds. The event is a benefit for THE SAN FRANCISCO TRANS MARCH, one of the largest transgender events in the world, which happens annually on the Friday before SF Pride. Each year thousands come to Trans March to connect with the larger transgender community. badflower.com,
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    THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE, INC. will once again present our glorious annual EASTER SUNDAY IN THE PARK noon on March 27 in Hellman Hollow, Golden Gate Park. If you are taking the bus, take the 5 Fulton and get off at 25th Avenue and walk west two blocks once inside the park and on JFK Drive. Free, but we always encourage donations to help our many charities. There will be lots of live entertainment, and attendees are encouraged to enter the Easter Bonnet Contest, Hunky Jesus Contest, and Foxy Mary Contest, to be judged by Sister Roma and Sister Dana on stage for prizes. Bring a picnic! If it is predicting rain, we will move it nearby to an indoor facility in the park. Pray for a nice day! Watch the website at thesisters.org for updates.

    A magical evening of celebrating community is TRANSGENDER DAY OF VISIBILITY on Thursday, March 31, 5 pm at SOMArts, 934 Brannan Street. Across the country and internationally there has been an increased visibility of our transgender and GNC communities. Despite increased national media visibility, 2015 goes on record as one of the most dangerous years for transgender and gender non-conforming people, with alarming rates of violence, homicides, and suicides – specifically impacting trans women of color and youth. Trans Day of Visibility is an International annual holiday celebrated around the world. The day is dedicated honoring our community leaders while raising awareness of victories and work that is still needed to save trans lives. Get your tickets: https://tdov2016.eventbrite.com

    THE GLBT HISTORY MUSEUM is pleased to present a special traveling exhibit beginning April 1, DANCERS WE LOST: HONORING PERFORMERS LOST TO HIV/AIDS, featuring beautiful photographs and other documentation. This is a comprehensive dance history project honoring performers who died due to complications of HIV/AIDS. This truly significant exhibit runs through August 7 at the GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th & Castro Streets. There will be two opening receptions: Opening reception April 1, 7-9 pm, $5 donation; Second opening reception April 3, 2-5 pm, $5 donation. glbthistory.org

    Join EQUALITY CALIFORNIA and this year’s co-chairs, the Honorable David Campos, Andrea Casalett, the Honorable Mark Farrell, Boe Hayward and the Honorable Ricardo Lara for an inspirational evening honoring and celebrating the heroes and allies of the LGBT community, EQUALITY AWARDS. Saturday, April 2, 6-11 pm at Westin St. Francis on Union Square, 335 Powell Street. Minority Leader in the U.S. House of Representatives, Representative Nancy Pelosi, former San Francisco Supervisor Bevan Dufty, businessperson and philanthropist Kathy Levinson, and actor and activist George Takei (“Ohh myyy”) are this year’s honorees. For more information or to sign on as a sponsor or host committee member, contact Scott Gizicki at scott@eqca.org. Tickets and info at eqca.org/
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    MAPPLETHORPE: LOOK AT THE PICTURES is on HBO and a pop-up installation arrives in San Francisco at PROXY (Octavia and Linden Streets), Friday, March 25 (6 pm-11 pm) and Saturday, March 26 (6 pm -10 pm). The installation features larger-than-life projections, a stunning array of famous and more personal works, and rare, revealing commentary from Robert Mapplethorpe himself. This is a very special chance for guests to experience first-hand the magnitude of Mapplethorpe’s legacy. This pop-up arrives prior to the premiere of HBO’s upcoming documentary Mapplethorpe: Look at the Pictures, which will debut on Monday, April 4, 9 pm exclusively on HBO. Watch the trailer: https://youtu.be/gkNCITzUA3U. #LookAtThePictures #MapplethorpeDoc.
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    If you want to enjoy what old time art openings used to be like in San Francisco, then do drop by ARTSAVESLIVES STUDIO, an unusual gallery in the heart of the Castro, 518 Castro Street on Friday night April 8, 6-10 pm and meet the artists involved with this magnificent exhibit, EIGHT MALE ARTISTS. SF artist Thomasina De Maio has curated this spectacular show. Expect several short pop-up performances delivered by local talent and always an abundance of food and drink. 120 feet of wall space featuring some local men that have been in the Castro when it all began: Tim Burns, Michael Levin, Renato Robles, Jack Stelnikki, Henry Martinez, Jack Mattingly, Larry Bruderer, and Ara Bedoyan with photos, painting, ceramics, and assemblage.

    COMFORT & JOY presents another adventure for the curious queer citizens of the night, TOUCH IT! Saturday, April 9, 10 pm-5 am at Club Six, 60 6th Street. A thousand gorgeous images compressed to a strong glance. As this is a Comfort & Joy scenario, get ready for splendorous decor, alluring entertainments, dreamy danceability, palatial playspaces, and most importantly, a menagerie of guests from all four corners of our funky town. At 11:30 pm, be dazzled by a special performance, starring and curated by community activist, nightlife impresario, and style icon Grace Towers. On the main floor, they present Adam Kraft, resident mix master for the Haus of Towers, the legendary DJ Jim Hopkins, Robin Malone Simmons, creator of Odysseys, Moulton Music’s Allen Craig, and Electronic artist Grisecon.

    Sister Dana sez, “I agree – we must build a wall … around Donald Trump! Meanwhile, go Hillary go!!!”