Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

sisterdanaSister Dana sez, “Pope Francis said the church has the right to express its opinions but not to ‘interfere spiritually’ in the lives of gays and lesbians, expanding on explosive comments he made in July about not judging queers. He also brushed off critics who say he should be more vocal about fighting abortion and gay marriage. In other gay news, Barilla pasta has made anti-gay remarks, resulting in a national boycott. Take action at glaad.org/barilla and petitions.moveon.org/sign/no-barilla. Who knew I’d like the Pope more than pasta?!”

22ND ANNUAL LEATHERWALK raised $11,000 for AIDS EMERGENCY FUND and BREAST CANCER EMERGENCY FUND. Former Mr. San Francisco Leather, Lance Holman, led more than 125 people down Market Street into South of Market, the traditional home of EssEff’s leather community. Walkers enjoyed performances along the route by Raquela, Emperor XXXVI John Weber, Mark Paladini, Kippy Marks, Olivia Hart, and Mr. Gapa 2012 Jethro. Walkers stopped for refreshments at BeatBox, Hole in the Wall, and Powerhouse bars, before concluding at the Eagle.

Prior to the walk, at noon in Harvey Milk Plaza, Mr. International Leather 2013 Andy Cross emceed and introduced Event Producer Holman who thanked Randy Schiller for sound and tech, Daddy Mike for truck driving, Lt. Chuck Limbert for permit and police support, Sandy “Mama” Reinhardt (founder of Mama’s Family), and all the performers and bar owners who supported the event, especially 440 Castro, which hosted the registration and pre-kickoff party, and the SF Eagle, which coordinated the Flag Raising. Senator Mark Leno sent a Certificate of Appreciation, and Supervisor Scott Wiener and Mr. San Francisco Leather 1990 Ray Tilton spoke. Hundreds of black, blue, and red balloons (three of the official leather colors) were then released by attendees, some of whom held tiny leather flags that were distributed.

AIDS EMERGENCY FUND turned 31. Hosted by KINK.com in their opulent and theatrical grand salon in The Armory, AEF celebrated its 31st year with a grand gala, LEATHER AND FEATHERS, emceed by Donna Sachet and Sister Roma, featuring a special performance by Billboard recording artist, Brian Kent. Raquela Singer and Kent sang a mash-up of “Without You” & “With or Without You,” “I Will Cover You” from RENT, “Stars and the Moon,” and “Don’t You Worry, Child.” The evening’s fashion wear? Why, leather and feathers, of course!

Empress Marlena (Garry McLain,) who has been active in the community for nearly 40 years; Troy Brunet, outgoing president of the Castro Lions, proud member of Mama’s Family; and Neil Figurelli has led AEF’s Christmas Eve for PWAs Dinner committee for 25 years.

Capping off Leather Week in EssEff was the 30TH ANNUAL FOLSOM STREET FAIR, where I attended as a “rough trade nun” sans makeup, with untrimmed beard, mirrored sunglasses, black & silver wimple and veil, a jeans miniskirt, camouflage tee, and a huge silver cross around my neck – butch nun! As a jaded Sister, having been to these leather fairs from the very first one, I was on the search for something new under the sun (which was nicely warm to allow less clothing on attendees, and maximum flesh exposure (PTA = Peenies, Titties, Asses). Some stellar costumes spotted included an impressive leather dragon with leather body, head, scales, wings, and a tail; black leather cat from head to tail; several furries (living stuffed animals); and a man in rainbow-sequined bodysuit covered from head to toe. Alas, there was a dearth of drag queens other than Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

As a nun I was excited to see available Holy Water Lube, “Sanctus Orgasmicus,” with the slogan, “So blessedly good, even God uses it!” Unit K9 featured cages, water bowls, and chew bones for human dogs. I was amused to see that cheap blow-up sex dolls have upgraded into $5,500 super realistic, fully articulated, life-size, silicone, anatomically correct manikins by SINthetics.com. Tita Aida was lookin’ fierce in her fetish wear, taking photos of me and my escort, St. Rory, behind a cardboard wall of two hot cartoon leathermen with our heads sticking out. The 8-foot high Happy Penis from SF Dept. of Health was available for a photo op, and at the Alliance Health Project, FFISTFUL of FFUN, you could stick your hand through a cartoon man’s faux fur-lined beehole to pull out an egg with a question inside about safer sex to win a prize. And on that note, I will end. Get it?!

Reminder: Castro Street Fair is October 6th.

CUMMING UP!

LADY BUNNY gets hopping cray-cray in THAT AIN’T NO LADY! at Rebel, 1760 Market Street, October 4th and 5th, 7:30 & 10pm. Unlike her position on RUPAUL’S DRAG U on LOGO as the Dean Of Drag giving contestants “Lady Lessons,” Bunny’s deliciously bawdy brand of humor is far from ladylike.

The raunchy, demented drag diva of Wigstock fame presents her first EssEff full-length one wo-man show in almost half a decade. For mature audiences who enjoy irreverent humor and a lot of hysterical pop music parodies. Info (415) 431-4204, tix at the door (if not sold out), brownpapertickets.com. Hop on over!

Are you ready for A PERFECTLY SUITED EVENING? Honoring Ambassador James C. Hormel, philanthropist, U.S. Ambassador to Luxembourg (1999-2000), HORIZONS’ ANNUAL GALA DINNER & CASINO PARTY is October 5th, The Fairmont Hotel San Francisco, 950 Mason Street. 5:30 pm reception & silent auction, 7pm dinner & program, 9pm dessert buffet & Casino in The Tonga Room. horizonsfoundation.org.

Join SHANTI on October 9th, 5:30-9:30pm to celebrate their 39th anniversary dinner and awards with their annual signature event, COMPASSION IS UNIVERSAL, presented by The Honorable James C. Hormel & Michael P. Nguyen, and Nordstrom. Hilton Union Square, 333 O’Farrell. shanti.org.

PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS wants you to put on your best outfit for TO-DAY and grab your ticket NOW to the world premiere of RETURN TO GREY GARDENS, an original, all-new, pre-film musical entertainment featuring season 5 winner of RuPaul’s Drag RaceJinkx Monsoon as Li›l Jinkxy and Peaches Christ as Big Peachy with special guest star Mink Stole (of John Waters movie fame). Castro Theater, October 12th, with shows at 8pm and a matinee at 3pm. The original stage-show, written and directed by Joshua Grannell, is set forty years into the future to document the lives of an aging drag mother and her bitter drag daughter who continue to perform for an empty house at the now dilapidated and run-down Castro Theatre. How did this happen? What will become of them? Will their famous and successful royal drag cousin Lady Bear step up and help out? Then the audience will be whisked back in time to see the reality of the infamous Beales with a screening of GREY GARDENS, the wacky 1975 documentary. If you’re feeling like Jackie-O, VIP admissions are available that include early seating and drinks in the Dead Kennedy’s Lanai aka the Castro’s mezzanine. peacheschrist.com.

LET ME BE PERFECTLY QUEER is an event at MAGNET, the Castro health and wellbeing hub, which Magnet and BRIDGEMEN are producing for a coming out extravaganza in conjunction with NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY (October 11th) on Saturday, October 12th, 7-9pm, 4122 18th Street. Submit your story via email to comingout@magnet.org with your name and age. It can be ANY coming out – from your first to your latest (funny, sad, silly or shocking). magnetsf.org/coming-out.html.

Igniting their 36th season with a decadent champagne brunch and entertaining performances, CRESCENDO: THE NEXT 35 is presented by SF GAY MEN’S CHORUS, October 13th, noon-3pm, Four Seasons Hotel, 757 Market Street. sfgmc.org/crescendo.

AIDS LEGAL REFERRAL PANEL is holding their 30th annual catered hors d’oeuvres and great wines reception, JUSTICE FROM THE HEART, October 16, 6-9pm, Julia Morgan Ballroom, the Merchants Exchange, 465 California Street.  ALRP is honoring Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi - House Democratic Leader – for her leadership, dedication, and support of HIV/AIDS services. alrp.org.

On October 17th, the campaign to elect DAVID CAMPOS to the State Assembly will kick off its fundraising efforts with a party at Blackbird, 2124 Market Street. The party will start at 6:30pm, and a cocktail reception from the host committee will precede it at 6pm.

Bullying is a real issue facing today’s young people, and every year millions of people come together to go purple in support of LGBTQ youth and teens on SPIRIT DAY. Since 2010, GLAAD has helped spread this message, involving people from all walks of life – even the White House went purple! Pledge to go purple on October 17th. glaad.org/spiritday.

Adult flick picks: RESORT from Titanmen.com and BREAKIN’ THE SEAL from Nextdoorstudios.com.

Sister Dana sez, “Repugnicans jammed devastating cuts to food stamps through the House – leaving more than 3.8 million hungry Americans to fend for themselves – in these thugs’ latest outrageous attack on seniors and the poor. Nice going, heartless ones!”