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I’m Only Attracted to Older Men

I’m Only Attracted to Older Men

From a reader: Dear Tom: I’m just the opposite of the guy in your last column (“I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys.”) For my whole life, I’ve only been attracted…

I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys

I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys

Q: I’m a 42-year-old man who’s never had a relationship that’s lasted longer than a few months. That’s because I’m only attracted to really good-looking, muscular guys in their early…

Filthy Lucre

Filthy Lucre

I’m often surprised at how many people have a deeply ambivalent relationship to money. On the one hand, we spend most of our waking hours trying to earn it. We…

I Can’t Let Go of My Anger

I Can’t Let Go of My Anger

Q: My boyfriend left me almost five years ago, but I’ve never gotten over how much he hurt me. He lied to me about everything. He cheated on me with…

How to Make People Feel Guilty

How to Make People Feel Guilty

Guilt-tripping is an ancient, and often highly profitable, art. In every culture, there are people and institutions that actively work to instill guilt, because people who feel guilty are easier…

Can We Make an Open Relationship Work?

Can We Make an Open Relationship Work?

Q: My boyfriend and I have been monogamous for four years, and now we’re considering having an open relationship. We’re both a little worried about it. Could this endanger our…

Science and Thanksgiving

Science and Thanksgiving

Since 1863 in the United States, we’ve set aside an annual Day of Thanksgiving to share our collective gratitude for the abundance in our lives. It’s now largely a festival…

Families of Choice

Families of Choice

Family. It’s a powerful word that evokes many intense emotions. Now that the holiday season is here, many people are anticipating—and some are dreading—spending time with their families. It’s common…

Is it Now, Yet?

Is it Now, Yet?

Wariness is a kind of innate default setting in the human brain. To keep our ancestors alive, the brain evolved a “negativity bias”—an inclination to be constantly on the alert…

Addiction Myths

Addiction Myths

When Brian realized that his depression, work problems and relationship difficulties were due to his crystal meth use, his new clarity initially felt exciting and empowering. Having put two and…

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