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Automatic Thoughts

Automatic Thoughts

Henry unexpectedly came home from work two hours early. Instead of giving him a friendly greeting, his partner Andy glared at him in silence and walked away. Henry was confused…

Making Peace with the Past 1: REACHing for Forgiveness

Making Peace with the Past 1: REACHing for Forgiveness

It’s a truism that if we want to be happy in the present, we need to find some measure of acceptance and peace in relation to the pain and disappointments…

The Story of ‘Me’

The Story of ‘Me’

How many of us know who we really are? After more than thirty-five years as a psychotherapist, I’ve come to believe that genuine self-awareness is relatively rare. It seems that,…

On Being Single

On Being Single

“I can’t find a relationship,” the dejected man in my office says. In fact, he has solid relationships with many long-standing and valued friends and family members, but they don’t…

Five Foundations of Loving Relationships

Five Foundations of Loving Relationships

What constitutes mature love? This is the subject of an excellent book, How to be an Adult in Relationships, by Dr. David Richo. I highly recommend it. In this book,…

Resolving Conflicts in Relationships

Resolving Conflicts in Relationships

(Editor’s Note: This article is the third of a three-part series entitled “Strengthening Relationships.”) In this final installment of three columns examining Dr. John Gottman’s research on successful relationships, the…

Four Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble

Four Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble

(Editor’s Note: This article is the first of a three-part series entitled “Strengthening Relationships.”) After watching a couple commu-nicating with each other for just five minutes, psychologist John Gottman can…

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

From an email I received a while back:  “I’m a very good looking guy. People say I have movie star looks and everywhere I go, people stare. I’m not bragging…

A Troublesome Turn-on

A Troublesome Turn-on

Q: Dear Tom: I’ve been with my partner for two years and I love him deeply. He wants to get married, but for me the problem is that we have…

From a Couple to a Thrupple

From a Couple to a Thrupple

Q: My husband and I have been together for eleven years. We were monogamous for three years, and then we transitioned to an open relationship, which has worked well for…

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