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On Being Single

On Being Single

“I can’t find a relationship,” the dejected man in my office says. In fact, he has solid relationships with many long-standing and valued friends and family members, but they don’t…

Five Foundations of Loving Relationships

Five Foundations of Loving Relationships

What constitutes mature love? This is the subject of an excellent book, How to be an Adult in Relationships, by Dr. David Richo. I highly recommend it. In this book,…

Resolving Conflicts in Relationships

Resolving Conflicts in Relationships

(Editor’s Note: This article is the third of a three-part series entitled “Strengthening Relationships.”) In this final installment of three columns examining Dr. John Gottman’s research on successful relationships, the…

Four Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble

Four Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble

(Editor’s Note: This article is the first of a three-part series entitled “Strengthening Relationships.”) After watching a couple commu-nicating with each other for just five minutes, psychologist John Gottman can…

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

From an email I received a while back:  “I’m a very good looking guy. People say I have movie star looks and everywhere I go, people stare. I’m not bragging…

A Troublesome Turn-on

A Troublesome Turn-on

Q: Dear Tom: I’ve been with my partner for two years and I love him deeply. He wants to get married, but for me the problem is that we have…

From a Couple to a Thrupple

From a Couple to a Thrupple

Q: My husband and I have been together for eleven years. We were monogamous for three years, and then we transitioned to an open relationship, which has worked well for…

I’m Only Attracted to Older Men

I’m Only Attracted to Older Men

From a reader: Dear Tom: I’m just the opposite of the guy in your last column (“I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys.”) For my whole life, I’ve only been attracted…

I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys

I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys

Q: I’m a 42-year-old man who’s never had a relationship that’s lasted longer than a few months. That’s because I’m only attracted to really good-looking, muscular guys in their early…

Filthy Lucre

Filthy Lucre

I’m often surprised at how many people have a deeply ambivalent relationship to money. On the one hand, we spend most of our waking hours trying to earn it. We…

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