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Two Wolves in the Hearta

Two Wolves in the Hearta

There is a strange duality in human nature. As a species, we’re capable of deep love, compassion, and inspiring acts of self-sacrifice. But, as events like the Holocaust show, we’re…

Remembering the Stonewall Uprising

Remembering the Stonewall Uprising

In the late 1960’s, sexual minorities in America endured a level of oppression that is all too often forgotten, even by those of us who were alive at the time.…

Compulsive Debting

Compulsive Debting

Q: I have an okay income, but I’m now so far in debt that I’m in real trouble. Last Christmas, I spent so much money on my friends that I’m…

What Makes Us Happy?

What Makes Us Happy?

No question that we can ask is more important in helping us direct our lives than “What will make me hap­py?” But few of us ever seriously con­sider the question,…

Can I Learn to Control My Drinking?

Can I Learn to Control My Drinking?

Q: I spent my twenties and most of my thirties getting loaded. It was crystal meth that finally brought me to my knees. I haven’t used that in a year,…

Don’t Take It Personally

Don’t Take It Personally

Henry maneuvers his shopping cart into the shortest checkout line in the market. He’s tired and hungry after a long day’s work, and in a hurry to get home and…

Tyranny of the Comparing Mind

Tyranny of the Comparing Mind

Eric tries on a new shirt and looks at himself in the mirror. “I don’t like the way I look in this,” he tells his partner, Jason. “You look fine,”…

Swimming in the River of Blah Blah

Swimming in the River of Blah Blah

Whenever my friend Aaron finds himself lost in habitual and unproductive thoughts, he describes himself as “swimming in the river of blah blah.” Buddhists call this river papanca, or “mental…

Holy Deadlock

Holy Deadlock

In my last column I shared the startling finding, by couples researcher John Gottman, that fully 69% of the conflicts that couples have in relationships are never resolved. Relationships survive,…

You Have to Change So I Can Love You

You Have to Change So I Can Love You

After years of searching, you find “the one” and merge with each other in what seems like perfect love. But, after a little time passes, you begin to notice the…

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