Coming Out Stories: Heart of a Woman

I graduated from Wake Forest University in the 1980s and there I met the university’s first Reynolds Professor of American Studies, Dr. Maya Angelou. I read all of her works, and especially her poem “I Rise.” The poem moved me very much. It would be a decade later that I would understand my destiny. 

I was living in Raleigh, North Carolina, in the 1990s and working in the North Carolina Community College System as an Instructional Supervisor/Assistant to the Dean. I enjoyed the position, and I enjoyed working with the Dean. There was a promise for me to reach a higher position and grow. But there was a hole in my heart and spirit to be something else. I knew I was unhappy and longing to be someone else, so out of the blue I quit my position and moved to New York City.

Here I was in the Big Apple trying to find my way and be my authentic self, a woman. I did not understand how to do this until I met the lovely ladies of 14th Street in the meat-packing district. They schooled and educated me about transitioning and from there I found my true authentic self and genuine happiness within. I was broke with no clear future, but I was content with myself.

I found the real Toni, and I grew and let my heart and spirit lead me to become who I am today. No matter what came my way I repeated the poem “I Rise” to encourage myself. I am happy today and fulfilled and living my truth. In 2011 I wrote my memoir, I Rise –The Transformation of Toni Newman, detailing my 25-year journey.

In 2016, my partner Alton and British Film Director Keith Holland adapted the memoir into a short film called Heart of a Woman. The goal is to do a full feature film highlighting that anything is possible if you believe and strive towards your goals.

So, my story continues to be guided by two words: I Rise.

Toni Newman is currently the Interim Director of Employment Services for the San Francisco LGBT Center and a Consultant with the Transgender Strategy Center. Her memoir is available for purchase at her website ( http://www.tonidnewman.com ) and you can view the short film about her at http://www.heartofawomanfilm.com

Published on August 13, 2020