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    Sister Dana Sez, “Illiterate, Dumbbell, Know-Nothing Trump keeps calling any opposition to him as ‘Low IQ.'”

    By Sister Dana Van Iquity–

    Sister Dana sez, “Illiterate, Dumbbell, Know-Nothing Trump keeps calling any opposition to him as ‘Low IQ.’ Does this dimwit even know that the letters stand for ‘Intelligence Quotient?’ And will he submit to an IQ test himself? Keep in mind that he ordered any high school and college records to be hidden. So, what’s YOUR IQ, Mr. Intelligence Impaired?!”

    On the eve of St. Patrick’s DayKREWE DE KINQUE held a SAINT PATRICK’S BEER BUST FUNDRAISER at the Edge. Everyone was festive in green! We raised $1,075 for the RUSSIAN RIVER ALLIANCE! Many Rush Riv folks were impacted by the terrible flooding, and we were so happy that we could help those people. The event was led by newly crowned King XVI Aja Monet-Ashton and Queen XVI Kelly Rose. The music was gorgeously played by DJ Sergio FedaszKing I Gary Virginia and Queen II Deana Dawn really helped to put this fabulous event together. Sister Dana was at the door busily raking in the cash for our fundraiser. King XV Garaje Gooch sold Jell-O shots to everyone (of course, for St. Pat’s they were lime green). Performers got the crowd excited. They included King Aja Monet-Ashton, Queen Kelly Rose, Queen XV Miss Chief, Kippy Marks, Cadillac Barbie, Davida, and Mark Paladini.

    THEATRE RHINO presented A Pop-Up Production on March 16, 17, 22 and 24 at Spark Arts of Duncan Pflaster ‘s “THE UNDERPANTS GODOT, brilliantly directed by Alan Quismorio. A frustrated director leads a rehearsal for an avant-garde production of the classic Samuel Beckett masterpiece Waiting for Godot—but in his very different interpretation (you might even say “gay” with the main characters played by hot young men in their underpants instead of old men in trousers). A representative from the notoriously litigious Samuel Beckett estate crashed the rehearsal to investigate and decide whether the performance could be allowed. It should be noted that sometimes there was nudity (which she objected to) and men kissing (not in the original and therefore needed to be struck from the show, by her direction) and a whole lot of very picky disagreements as to the acting and the directing. This was extremely exasperating to the actors and director, but they had to accept her changes or the show would not go on. We cringed (and laughed) as this fastidious estate representative kept tearing the play to pieces. The very talented ensemble cast included Andrew Calabrese, Elizabeth Finkler, Eric Johnson, Nicole Nutterfield, Jordan Ong, Francisco Rodriguez and Gary Wills.

     Mayor London Breed appointed Michael Lambert on March 25 to serve as the City Librarian of the SAN FRANCISCO PUBLIC LIBRARY. Lambert has served as Acting Librarian since the retirement of City Librarian Luis Herrera in February 2018, and previously served as Deputy City Librarian.

    Sister Dana sez, “As part of the 2020 budgeting process, heartless Betsy DeVos proposed morally bankrupt funding cuts that would have hurt children with disabilities and working-class folks—including nearly $18 million in cuts to the Special Olympics. Just another Trumpian cold-blooded administrator!”

    Sister Dana sez, “Chick-fil-A gave over $1.8 million to anti-LGBTQ groups according to recent tax returns. It’s why I call the restaurant ‘Chicken-Sh**Fillet!”TENDERLOIN TESSIE HOLIDAY DINNERS held a fun fundraiser at The Mix on March 18, a game show called THREE QUEENS SURVEYED, hosted and emceed by Marilyn Murrillo. The three queens were Grand Duchess Olivia Hart, Grand Duchess Davida and Krewe de Kinque Queen Kelly Rose. This was also a CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR JEROMY MEYER. The rules were: Three Contestants pay $5 to compete against each other to try to guess what each of the 3 Queens would answer to each Outrageous Question—three per Competition. The Contestant that correctly guessed the most answers of the 3 Queens won and got to continue playing until they lost. They competed against the other Contestants that paid $5 each in the next round of the Game Show. The grand prize was two tickets to Six Flags Vallejo. Sister Dana was Judge to clarify questions, make a ruling or give a dramatic interpretation of a question. I also gave a special blessing for the three queens, calling on the Patron Saint of Game Shows, St. Procter & Gamble, and making the audience repeat a liturgy of blessings. We had so much fun that we decided to stage another game show at a bigger venue. http://www.tenderlointessie.com/

     It was PURIM, and the CJM (Contemporary Jewish Museum) had a spiel we could not resist, NIGHT AT THE JEWSEUM: PURIM CABARET. On March 21 at the Jewish museum, we joined San Francisco’s favorite drag queens and kings, featuring emcee Miss Shugana, for a rollicking Purim drag show. Prior to that, we observers had the opportunity to also be queens when we created our own DIY crowns at the craft table. Then the show began with Miss Shugana (who gave me a shout-out) holding a plastic menorah for Drag King Madd Dog2020 to take out a lighter and “light” her menorah (actual light bulbs) while singing “Let Me Light Your Candle” from Rent. Next out came macho man Drag King Mason Dickson Jar lifting a 100kg barbell (made of rubber) flexing and slowly stripping to The Village People‘s “Macho Man.” Miss S with her assistant MrGravity led us in a wild game of Mad Libs (to fill in the story of Esther and the King), and then portrayed Esther lip-synching a revenge song, “Nothing Left to Lose,” while kicking a Bozo the Clown inflatable punching doll named Hanan, the evil Biblical villain against Esther. Madd Dog joined Miss S to do a delightful duet to “Lucky for You.” Faux Queen Gia Maica did Madonna‘s “Dress You Up in My Love,” lip-synching while undressing and dancing exotically. The whole show was Purim to perfection!

    On the second floor, we explored gender expression in contemporary art on view in an exhibition entitled SHOW ME AS I WANT TO BE SEEN. A sign explained, “In the book of Esther, the title figure reveals the Jewish identity in a risky but successful bid to save her people. Queen Esther‘s ‘coming out’ is an archetypal Jewish story of claiming and declaring the self as one wants to be seen.” This free event was presented in partnership with CULTURE FOR COMMUNITY. https://www.thecjm.org/

     Sister Dana sez, “Given what’s going on in the White House and the uptick in hate crimes against the LGBTQ community and the murder rate in the trans community, we desperately need the EQUALITY ACT!”

     SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS presented THE BRITS ARE COMING! on March 22 in Davies Symphony Hall. Accompanied by a five-piece band, SFGMC took us on a glorious journey through the colorful and varied British songbook. We heard a funny British announcement: “In case of emergency, please locate your Brexit.” The (drag) Queen of England marched out with her three (stuffed animal) Corgis on her long, long train. She welcomed us “commoners.” Naturally the Chorus had to sing “God Save the Queen,” but at the final chorus, they added an extra “s.” For Scotland, they sang “Loch Lomond.” For Ireland, they sang “Danny Boy.” There was a brilliant performance from Shakespeare ‘s Richard the Second by the AFRICAN-AMERICAN SHAKESPEARE COMPANY. For humor, Robin Hood and his Mary … er … Merry Men led the Chorus with the hilariously gay “Men in Tights,” while dancing, high kicking, and swishing away. Getting more modern, SFGMC sang “Hey Jude.” And to really stimulate us and getting us to clap and stomp, they did Queen‘s “We Will Rock You” and “We Are the Champions.” After intermission, SFGMC sang Adele‘s melancholic “Rumor Has It” and “Someone Like You.” They sang from the iconic Sunset Boulevard. They poked fun at Cats with dancers in cat costumes. Among the last songs, they sang George Michael‘s “Freedom 90;” the tongue in cheek Monty Python classic “Every Sperm is Sacred” with dancers dressed like semen; and a finale of various British artists. It was a marvelous evening of memorable music and mischievous humor.

     Sister Dana sez, “This is not an APRIL FOOL’S joke. No fooling! Check out these upcoming April events!”

    April 1 thru April 28, NO STIGMA/NO SHAME: Ramon Vidali‘s early Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence portraits will be on display at STRUT‘s 2nd floor gallery, 470 Castro Street. The SFAF sponsored free OPENING NIGHT reception is Friday, April 5, 8–10 pm. https://www.strutsf.org/

    OPENHOUSE LGBTStr8 Senior Housing presents their annual BRUNCH GALA AND AFTER-PARTY TEA DANCE at the Ritz-Carlton, 600 Stockton Street on Sunday, April 7, 11 am to 5 pm. This lovely afternoon event features top LGBTQ speakers, awardees and talented performers. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/openhouse-spring-fling-gala

    PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS proudly presents THE FIRST WIVES FIGHT CLUB, a live musical parody mash-up of ‘90s film classics: The First Wives Club and Fight Club, starring Raja, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Ginger Minj and Peaches Christ. Sunday, April 7, 4 pm and 8 pm at the Castro Theatre. www.peacheschrist.com

    SFFILM announced that the 2019 SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL will kick off with the World Premiere of Netflix’s new original series, ARMISTEAD MAUPIN’S TALES OF THE CITY, Wednesday, April 10, 7 pm at the Castro Theatre. https://sffilm.org/event/opening-night-film-party

    DEATHTRAP, the Classic Killer Comedy Thriller written by Ira Levin, runs now through April 13, Wednesdays–Saturdays, 8 pm; Saturday matinees, 3 pm at The Gateway Theatre (formerly Eureka), 215 Jackson Street. Playwright Sidney Bruhl needs a hit, desperately. Is he willing to kill to get it? Will his wife help him? How far will their nerve take them? And what will handsome Cliff’s reaction be when he finds out? Check it out, and you’ll find out! http://therhino.org/buy-tickets/

    SF LGBT CENTER presents SOIREE 2019 on Saturday, April 13, 5–11:30 pm at Terra Gallery, 511 Harrison Street. Juanita MORE! returns as Entertainment Director. LadyRyan debuts as Party DJ! Dancing and Open Bar! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/soiree-2019-tickets

    Sister Dana sez, “The Trump Administration is asking the U.S. Court of Appeals to completely invalidate Obama’s Affordable Care Act with nothing to replace it. T-Rump, you are a monster!”

     Save the date: April 14, 6–9 pm for INVESTITURE of The Community’s Court of Marvel, History, Re-Connection, and Fun at CALLE-11sf, 1501 Folsom Street. You loved the Coronation, now you can enjoy the official installation of their Imperial Majesties, Emperor Terrill Grimes Munro & Empress Baby-Shaques Munro. All hail the Emperor and Empress!

    You may be familiar with the good works and shenanigans of us Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and our iconic headdresses, but did you know that the Sisters have houses across the world? Join the SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE for our opening reception of W.O.W – 40 YEARS OF HABITS, an exhibition celebrating the unique World of Wimples—coronets and wimples (headdresses) worn by Sisters world-wide. The W.O.W exhibit will run April 17 through May 11 at the Harvey Milk Photo Center, 50 Scott Street. A free reception will be held at the Center on April 17 from 5–8:30 pm. http://harveymilkphotocenter.org/  

    At the same place and date, you can experience a free reception at 7 pm for SPI AT 40: THROUGH THE LENS OF OUR COMMUNITY. This is an exhibition of photography from the Archive Collection of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

    Sister Dana sez, “I’m really disappointed with the initial Mueller report, but in the words of Rep. Eric Swalwell: ‘No summaries. Show us the FULL report Mueller sent over. Every word. Every comma. Every period.’ Absolutely. Period!” #MuellerReport