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    Sister Dana sez: March Madness has begun. Ask me if I care at all about basketball.

    sisterd

    By Sister Dana Van Iquity

    Sister Dana sez, “March Madness has begun. Ask me if I care at all about basketball. I care less. But all you b-ball fans, go mad! Dribble Dribble…”

    Sister Dana sez, “Also, March Mustache Madness has begun. A madness I CAN get behind. It’s the celebration of the mustache held every March.”

    In the continuing saga of FACEBOOK TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS, not only are well known drag names verboten with CEO Herr Zuckerberg, but now F-book is attacking our veteran queer humorist/activist since being published in the ‘70s almost weekly in the SF Chronicle’s Herb Caen column and elsewhere on planet earth: my good friend, STRANGE DE JIM! Even though he can prove he is who he claims he is, F-book is censoring him. Keep in mind, his official Facebook card has his SdJ proudly embossed; Senator Mark Leno officially proclaimed SdJ Day in SF, and all Strange’s credit cards use that name. Why do we allow this stoooopid social networking device to tell us WHO and WHO WE ARE NOT?! By the way, Effbook is also attacking Native American names. Reeeeeeally??!

    THE 2015 NITEY AWARDS, presented by SITE AND SOUND, a California 501c3 nonprofit that advocates for music and art and the creation of its content, celebrated excellence in creative content and patron experience in the nightlife industry. The ceremony was held in the Regency Center Grand Ballroom with lots of pre-show entertainment by Veronica Klaus, Gypsy Love, Caroline Lund, Kippy Marks, and Ms. Leah Jackson, as well as a sideshow of circus folk, freaks, and insane asylum drag nurses. What stood out most was one of the presenters for Best Gay Bar, Barbara Liu-McCowell, as “Fifty Shades of Gay” (a takeoff of the “Grey” movie), wearing 50 different colors of cruising code hankies as a bustle, rainbow handcuffs, a riding crop, a big rainbow tie, and rainbow mask. Clever! The event was beautifully emceed by Renee Richardson & Liam Mayclem.

    There were too many categories to list, so I am narrowing down to those of queer (i.e. Sister Dana’s) interest. Best Sports Bar = HiTops; Most Notable Drag Queen = Arturo Galster aka Patsy Cline (in memoriam); Best Gay Bar = Lookout; Best Gay Dance Club = Beaux; Best New Venue = Masonic Auditorium; Best Small Dance Club = Cat Club; Best Large Dance Club = DNA; and Best Large Live Music Venue = Fillmore. The late, great Cookie Dough aka Eddie Bell received well deserved special recognition, slides, and remembrance in memoriam.

    BALIF GALA: CELEBRATING 35 YEARS! was the Bay Area Lawyers for Individual Freedom (BALIF)’s 35th Annual Gala at Terra Gallery. The event helped fund law student scholarships, mentor programs, CLE, Amicus briefs on LGBTQ issues, LGBTQ recruiting, social events to LGBTQ lawyers, community outreach, and much more. BALIF, the oldest and largest LGBT Bar Association in the country, also started the organization that grew to become the now-independent AIDS Legal Referral Panel, which has provided free and low-cost legal assistance to over 50,000 people since it was founded in 1983. BALIF Co-Chairs Jamie Dupree & John Robert Unruh welcomed everyone. Senator Mark Leno and Assemblyman David Chiu each presented Certificates of Recognition to BALIF. The GLBT Historical Society received the Community Service Award. Former Assemblyman Tom Ammiano received the Legal Service Award. Ammiano commented, “The courts are so much more aligned [with LGBT rights] than they ever have been before.”

    We at KREWE DE KINQUE held a fabulous Mardi Gras masked ball, FULL MOON OVER SHANGHAI, at Balancoire; more about that in the next edition of Bay Times, so stay tuned…

    CUMMING UP!

    SEX AND THE CITY LIVE is now playing two of your favorite Sex and the City TV episodes live on stage with four talented drag queen actors through March 28th! The crazy, witty show revolves around the lives of four young professional women in search of the perfect relationship … and orgasm! Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sue Casa) writes a column about sex and relationships in New York City- with three of her closest friends: Samantha Jones (D’Arcy Drollinger), who owns her own PR firm and is more interested in exciting “one-nighters” than long-term relationships; Miranda Hobbes (Lady Bear), a cynical lawyer who prioritizes her career over her erratic love life, and Charlotte York (Steven LeMay), an art gallery curator who is a bit prudish when it comes to sex, but hasn’t yet lost her faith in finding true love. Yes, I miss Heklina in the Carrie role, but Sue Casa does a sensational job.

    In Episode One, Carrie is turning 35, single, and resorting to online dating to find her soul mate. Samantha has fantasies of sex with a monk (but her loss was my gain, as the monk (Jordan Wheeler) gave me a wicked lap dance). Miranda needs to stop faking orgasms. Charlotte has her troubles as well. In Episode Two, Carrie finds her lover has way too much “stuff” when he moves in, and has the audacity to ask her to clean out her closet of clothes and shoes. The girls discuss their SSB (secret single behavior) when alone. Samantha is sleeping with her well-endowed boss and trying NOT to have a relationship with him. Miranda is a horny pregnant woman now. Charlotte is a childless wife of a husband who has given up on trying for a baby.

    The show is brilliantly directed by D’Arcy Drollinger with kooky sound effects and many quick scenery changes. Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 7pm at Oasis Nightclub & Cabaret, 298 11th Street, boxoffice@sfoasis.com (415) 795-3180. 21 and over only (there is some cheeky bare butt exposure).

    PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS proudly presents the World Premiere Pre-Show Parody Spectacular, THE WITCHES OF EAST BAY and the classic film, The Witches Of Eastwick  starring Cher, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Jack Nicholson. Miss Coco Peru, Chad Michaels, Peaches Christ & Thomas Dekker are three seasoned queens and one horny devil, live at the Castro Theatre, March 21st , 3pm & 8pm. Prepare to get witch-slapped! peacheschrist.com

    THE SAN FRANCISCO LESBIAN GAY BISEXUAL TRANSGENDER (LGBT) COMMUNITY CENTER is proud to host SOIREE 2015: LIMITLESS, a festive event that helps to fund programs and initiatives that address the most challenging issues facing the community today – ones that stem from statistics including a 70% unemployment rate among transgender individuals, 40% of homeless youth identifying as LGBT, housing and job search challenges, and a recent report showing elevated violence in the community. Funds raised are wholly devoted to addressing these problems. Soiree 2015 will take place on Saturday, March 28th, 6pm to midnight at the City View at Metreon with hosted bar and food, and a futuristic atmosphere sure to dazzle. Individual tickets are $125 each and VIP tickets at $225 each. Tix and info at soiree2015.eventbrite.com

    PASSION is more than a concert by SF GAY MEN’S CHORUS; it’s a celebration of life!  Crossing three different centuries with truly stunning music, “Passion” includes the San Francisco premiere of Jake Heggie’s “For a Look or a Touch,” and the fabulous world premieres of Steve Huffines’ “My Friend, My Lover: Five Walt Whitman Songs” and “#twitterlieder: 15 Tweets in 3 Acts,” by composer James Eakin III and librettist Charles Anthony Silvestri. April 1st and 2nd, 8pm, Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness. sfgmc.org