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    Sister Dana sez, “We have an effed-up election system in America. Why do we need primaries and cawkasses?”


    By Sister Dana Van Iquity

    Sister Dana sez, “We have an effed-up election system in America. Why do we need primaries and cawkasses? Flip a coin? Draw a card?? Whaaat??! And why the hell do we need superdelegates??? Are these characters in Marvel Comics with special powers? Why can’t we just have one person = one vote across the nation? And please let›s eliminate the Electoral College. There is obviously no need for a higher learning institution to educate voters. Many of them haven›t even finished high school!»

    KREWE DE KINQUE, a social club with a festive all-year-long Mardi Gras theme that raises funds for charities each month, celebrated FAT TUESDAY («Mardi Gras» in French) with SF›s Krewe de Kinque members and friends at our annual bar crawl aboard the KdK Party Bus wearing elaborate costumes, masks, and beads (Queen VII Sister Dana was decked out in the proper Mardi Gras colors of purple, gold, and green). We gathered at the festooned LOOKOUT bar at 7 pm, boarded the bus at 8 pm; partied our way to TRAX bar on Haight Street; then Club OMG (6th Street) for some serious dancing under the awesome domed dance floor; then shuffled off to the sexy, steamy SF EAGLE in SoMa, and then headed to the decorated EDGE bar by 11:30 pm (where our club was founded) for a BLOWOUT party to ring in Ash Wednesday! Queen II Deana Dawn kept us on track, and our current King Gio & Queen Cotton Candy led the Second Line Parade entrances to each bar. Noisemakers, umbrellas, bling & boas for days! Entertainment was provided by Queen Garza doing “Hey Big Spender” from Sweet Charity, Best in Show 2015 puppy dog Boomer from the Ducal Council (“arf! arf!”), King Kippy Marks singing his original “Mr. Friendly,” Queen Cotton Candy doing Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing,” Carne Asada with Whitney’s “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay.”

    This year’s beneficiary for the bus crawl and Bal Masque XIII, “SAINTS & SINNERS,” is JAZZIE’S PLACE, the new LGBTQ Homeless Shelter operated by Dolores Street Community Services. Mark your calendars for our annual BAL MASQUE on March 12th, 5–9 pm at Beatbox, 11th & Folsom Streets. It’s gonna be a ball!

    MOMMA’S BOYZ presented KINGDOM! WHERE KINGS REIGN–the only monthly DRAG KING night in EssEff at the GLBT HISTORY MUSEUM for an unforgettable night of SEXY DRAG KING performances, music, and partying! “KINGDOM! A Night at the Museum” is a benefit for the future DRAG KING EXHIBIT at the GLBT History Museum. Tweaka Turner was the DJ, donning a big fake beard, choosing to not dress as a DQ as usual but instead was a baller pimp daddy in shiny clothes and zebra-striped fedora. Emcees Alex U. Inn, Mailman (Kaylah Marin), and Madd Dogg 20/20 kept us entertained, plus the whole Momma’s Boyz crew, and a host of performers turned the museum into a DRAG KING Performance Showcase. Note: a drag king is the opposite of a drag queen—usually a female dressed in male attire and appearance. TRANSGENDER LAW CENTER, last month’s beneficiary, received their funds raised at January’s KINGDOM. In addition to the emcees, museum performers included: Kit Tapata, Sevan-Kelee Boult, Riley Coyote, Mustang & The Stallion Dancers, Oliver Closeoff & Prince Ript. Special guest was last month’s KINGDOM! Co-winner: Oliver Quimm. The macho event raised over $1,000!

    CASTRO STREET ARTSAVESLIVES STUDIO AND GALLERY and AIDS HEALTHCARE FOUNDATION presented “LOVE & EROTIC ART,” a large pre-Valentines show and party with 18 local artists displaying sculpture, paintings, photos, and live performances:  Wine (poured by art critic Tony De Renzo) and treats were served by glittery “cigarette girls” (not selling ciggies but giving away sweets and savory treats). When not serving folks, Honey Dewmee Melons danced a fiercely frisky female burlesque, Rachel Pennine read her erotic feminist poetry, and Jose Cital executed a sexy, intricate modern dance interpretation. People flocked to the Castro and enjoyed the delightful company of more than a dozen hardworking artists curated by artist in residence Thomasina DeMaio, and had a memorable evening of art, chocolates, and community at 518 Castro Street. My faves on display now are “Sunset,” a warm male backside Giclee print as chalk pastel on paper by David Barnett (; a very Castro-centric bar scene of “Down the Rabbit Hole” by Serge Gay Jr. (, and an entire half wall of amazing photographic composite collage nude male pieces by J.B. Higgins ( These will be on display for the rest of the month of February. Note: DeMaio offers live art models for both newbie and veteran artists to portray: Tuesdays with a different female model each time and Thursdays with two male models to sketch, paint, or sculpt to your heart’s content.