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    Memory & Gratitude

    By Jewelle Gomez–

    Those who know me and my writing know that maintaining connections and community are at my heart. That doesn’t mean that I pretend to remember a fan I met at a reading in 1985. I mean I’d like it if, say, Lily Tomlin remembered she met me twenty years ago (fat chance!).

    Still, I feel very lucky to have met a large number of people over the past years who’ve influenced me deeply, even if we weren’t close friends. Growing my career during the lesbian feminist movement of the 1980s and 1990s was very fortunate and the women I met have formed the ground on which I stand. As we start to lose those women, I try to figure out how to honor them without it sounding tragic. Especially in a year that’s seen so much death.

    Irare Sabasu was a charming volunteer at the Lesbian Herstory Archives
    (https://www.lesbianherstoryarchives.org) in New York City. I’m not sure how a woman can be both soft spoken and boisterous, but Irare was that. A tall, full bodied, brown-skinned woman, she was proud of her connection to the LHA founded by Joan Nestle, Deb Edel, and Judith Schwarz.

    Fortunately for me, it was then located in a Manhattan apartment only three blocks from my flat. Floor to ceiling books and photos made it easy to feel like it was another home, especially if Irare greeted you at the door. I used to march with her and the LHA contingent every Pride when I lived in NYC. When Irare passed away this year, friends understood that she touched everyone who’d passed through the doors of the LHA searching for our history. It was unfortunate, given the pandemic, that I couldn’t travel back east to commemorate her; but I do so here.

    On the other hand, I just happened to be in New York City last January for the production of my most recent play when I heard of the passing of sister poet/activist/dancer/drummer Donna Allegra. It was a harsh blow; especially because Donna was renowned for her attention to her health—no meat had passed her lips in decades and she biked everywhere. 

    She’d trained as a dancer and drummed with a contingent of women drummers in Washington Square Park and for Pride marches—lively could have been her middle name. I saw Donna about three years ago when I was walking down 6th Avenue in Greenwich Village and I heard her shout over the horrific noise of traffic: “Hey Girl!” She darted perilously between cars on her bike, dreadlocks flying about her head, and screeched to a halt at the curb beside me.  We talked for a half hour about poetry as if we’d just seen each other the day before.

    Then last month I learned that Oakland photographer Lenn Keller passed away, and again I wondered, rhetorically, how such vibrant life can be extinguished. Lenn had chronicled the lives of lesbians, especially African American lesbians, for twenty years and founded the Bay Area Lesbian Archives ( https://www.bayarealesbianarchives.org/ ) in 2016.

    Any event—dance, literary reading, rally, or memorial—found Lenn cruising the floor snapping photos in her easy way, smiling behind her big glasses. She was an avowed “proud butch lesbian” who made every effort to document any women’s event that ever occurred in our community. At least I was able to attend Lenn’s virtual memorial, which literally overflowed with people; some folks had to wait for others to leave. It’s the one Zoom I wouldn’t have missed.

    At my age these remembrances are not without sadness, but these were the women who made community for me when the world told us lesbians weren’t worth it. Getting to write about them reminds me of how much they’ve given to get us to where we are now. A sonorous greeting at the door, flying dreadlocks over a soft smile, and an acute eye that missed nothing still resonate within me.

    It’s said that as long as one person remembers you, you are not gone. I’m grateful whenever I take time to remember those who’ve enriched my life and our community.   

    Jewelle Gomez is a lesbian/feminist activist, novelist, poet, and playwright. She’s written for “The Advocate,” “Ms. Magazine,” “Black Scholar,” “The San Francisco Chronicle,” “The New York Times,” and “The Village Voice.” Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @VampyreVamp

    Published on March 25, 2021