By Ann Rostow–
Yes, it’s that time of year again. Somehow, I thought 2021 would be better than it’s turned out to be. I didn’t expect the Trump “I won the election” charade. I didn’t expect that so many people would hold on to such a fiction. I didn’t expect January 6. I didn’t expect COVID to drag on and mutate and continue to plague us. I didn’t expect Biden’s approval to tank. I didn’t expect inflation rates at this level.
But then again, we’ve passed two impressive pieces of legislation, with a third hopefully just ahead. The economy is pretty good. We are building an arsenal against COVID. Who knows? Maybe 2022 will turn out to be better than I might anticipate.
On that note, loyal readers, good luck on our annual quiz. Disloyal readers, do the best you can.
1. In animal news this year, Hennessy was:
a) a lab rat participating in an Australian rat tickling research project.
b) a cow available for cuddling at a farm in the Netherlands.
c) a lobster saved from a seafood restaurant due to his colorful shell.
d) a cat who jumped off the fifth floor of a Chicago apartment building to escape a fire.
e) a goat that can be hired to pop into Zoom meetings.
f) a gay sea snake accused of sexually abusing male scuba divers.
2. Which of the following was not attacked by One Million Moms?
a) a sonic ad narrated by women who announced they were not wearing bras;
b) an American Girl doll who was raised by lesbian aunts;
c) a male Muppet named Gonzo who wanted to wear a gown to the ball.
d) rainbow-colored Cheerios released for Pride;
e) a razor designed for the bikini line.
3. Match the following names with their 2021 news making activities:
a) John Dillermand
b) Lewis Hamilton
c) Jerry Detrick
d) Donnie Lee Barriger
e) George Langdon IV
f) Kristopher Drew
a) He pooped and peed in his gay neighbor’s yard for years before being caught.
b) He told a private audience that gays would vanish in 40 years if they could be isolated on an island.
c) He suggested that people should shoot gay men and women at an upcoming Pride parade.
d) He represented our community at the January 6 Capitol riots.
e) He is a Danish cartoon character with a giant penis.
f) He wore a rainbow helmet to support GLBTs on the Formula 1 circuit.
4. In Fulton v City of Philadelphia:
a) the High Court ruled that Catholic Social Services could not discriminate against same-sex foster parent applicants.
b) the High Court overturned Employment Division v Smith, an important precedent from the 1990s that previously blocked religious actors from ignoring generic laws based on faith alone.
c) Justice Barrett joined Justices Alito and Thomas in a scathing concurrence.
d) the Chief Justice ruled in favor of Catholic Social Services in a narrow decision joined by the three liberals and Justices Gorsuch and Barrett.
e) the Court sent the case back to the court of appeals on a technicality.
5. Match the following women with their 2021 news highlight.
a) Trashelle Odom
b) Sarah Green
c) Judy Thomson
d) Amethyst Hammerfist
e) Crystal Clantzen
f) Jessica Smith
a) She is Anita Bryant’s lesbian daughter who was wondering whether or not to invite Grandma to her wedding.
b) She drove through a Florida crime scene in a golf cart, drunk and naked.
c) She was given a prestigious job as an appellate court law clerk despite a history of blatantly racist online posts.
d) She and her boyfriend were forced to escape their house in North London after a Gwyneth Paltrow candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina” exploded and caught fire.
e) She was relentlessly pursued by Corey Lewandowski during a Republican charity fundraiser after which Lewandowski lost his Trump job and her wealthy husband withdrew his $100,000 gift.
f) She was a dominatrix who discovered a dead body at a “kinky rave festival” in Royal Tunbridge Wells in 2017. We dredged up the story in 2021 because we wanted to type her name.
6. Which of these state measures did not actually get enacted in 2021?
a) North Carolina outlawed marriage for 14 and 15-year-olds.
b) Ohio allowed health workers to opt out of providing certain treatments for religious reasons, including to transgendered patients.
c) Tennessee passed a law that requires public facilities that allow people to use the bathroom of their choice to post a warning sign to other customers.
d) Indiana passed a bill that sets the value of Pi at 3.2.
e) Alabama repealed language from a 1992 statute that said, “Homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public.”
f) Oklahoma allowed motorists to hit pedestrians if the driver is “fleeing from a riot.”
7. True or False? Number crunchers in 2021 reported that:
a) Malta is the most gay-friendly European country.
b) Ohio is the kinkiest state.
c) Twelve percent of the LGBT community voted for Trump.
d) Gays and lesbians are more likely to be friends with their ex-partners then straights.
e) The top health concern for lesbians over 55 is depression.
f) Ninety-two percent of LGBTs are vaccinated against COVID.
g) The most successful LGBT politicians are cis-gender gay men.
8. Carl Nassib made headlines in 2021 for:
a) running a multi-million dollar lottery ticket through the washing machine.
b) publicly demanding that Smith College put tampon dispensers in campus men’s rooms.
c) escorting a middle school field trip to a gay bar in Florida.
d) coming out as the first openly gay active NFL player.
e) producing a gay ghost-hunting reality show.
f) raising a stink about his missing rainbow flag until discovering that a raccoon ate it.
g) stealing a $58,000 bottle of Japanese whiskey from Mike Pompeo.
9. Which of these GLBT cases might turn into a big High Court showdown?
a) the long-running Gavin Grimm transgender bathroom case;
b) the antigay florist case out of Washington State;
c) the Texas challenge to same-sex marriage recognition;
d) the case of the website designer who wants to exclude gay wedding clients;
e) the 11th Circuit Andrew Adams trans rights case.
10. In 2022, would you rather:
a) See Stacey Abrams win the Georgia governor’s race? Or see Raphael Warnock reelected to the Senate?
b) Pass the Equality Act? Or pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Act?
c) Get a new job? Get a new partner? Get a new place to live? Or get a new car?
d) Have Fox News fire Tucker Carlson? Or see Trump’s new social media company go bust?
e) See Justice Alito unexpectedly resign? Or see Donald Trump have a non-fatal stroke?
f) See Ghislaine Maxwell convicted? Or see Steve Bannon go to jail?
g) Win $50,000? Or have a happy year?
Answers
1: d) Sad story. After surviving the leap, Hennessy ran away and was never seen again. The lobster’s name was Freckles. None of these animals were gay, but we still care about them. I don’t think the aggressive sea snakes were actually gay.
2: d) I did not read about a Mom reaction to Kellogg’s pride cereal, but to be honest, the Moms might have gone ballistic over this one as well.
3: a-e, b-f, c-a, d-c, e-b, f-d.
4: d) The good news is that the Court did not overrule the 1990 opinion. Barrett wrote separately to preserve that crucial precedent, not because she liked it, but for lack of a better option. Alito wrote an angry 70-page conservative concurrence denouncing the 1990 decision, joined by Thomas and Gorsuch. The implications of the results in Fulton as a whole are not yet clear.
5: a-e, b-a, c-d, d-f, e-c, f-b.
6: d) That bill passed the Indiana house by a unanimous 67–0 vote … in 1897. But it died in the senate where a mathematician convinced lawmakers that the geometric constant was not subject to legislative review. All the other bills were passed this year (the Ohio bill was buried in the budget). You thought the 2021 Indiana legislature actually might have outlawed the true value of Pi, right?
7: a) True. b) True (according to “Stripchat”). c) False; it was actually 27 percent, according to exit polls. d) True, obviously. e) False; senior lesbians are most concerned about their weight. f) True. g) False; actually, cisgender lesbians won 69 percent of their races, the cis-men won 59 percent.
8: d) He’s a defensive end for the Raiders. The lottery ticket holder was a woman (the ticket became unreadable and void). The Smith demand came from a woman student. The field trip was to a gay restaurant at lunch time, not a bar. The ghost show is one of Kristen Stewart’s ideas, some other guy had the raccoon incident, and no one knows where that whiskey went.
9: d) and e) The High Court has declined to review both our victory in favor of Gavin Grimm and the Washington Supreme Court’s ruling against the florist. Those cases are over. There is no challenge to marriage in Texas or anywhere else. The Tenth Circuit ruled against the antigay website designer in a ruling that will be challenged. The full 11th circuit is scheduled to review the Andrew Adams case and may overturn our panel victory in that court. Watch for these two lawsuits to reach the Supremes in 2022 or 2023.
10: If you ask me, I would rather Warnock win the Senate race, Congress enact the Voting Rights Act, get a car, see the social media company flop, lose Alito, convict Maxwell, and have a happy year.
arostow@aol.com
Published on December 16, 2021
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