Attorney General Kamala Harris
Phyllis has been a supporter since my earliest days in public service. She and Del always encouraged me to focus on caring for the vulnerable and the voiceless and, in particular, work to support girls and women. I am grateful for Phyllis’ friendship and will always consider her a mentor.
Kamala Harris is the Attorney General of the State of California.
Jewelle Gomez
In college in the late 1960s, I combed the back pages of the Boston free weekly to find the ad for Daughters of Bilitis. I was always too afraid to call and find out where the meetings were, imagining upper class white women like Virginia Woolf who would reject me. When I met Phyllis in the 1990s, I told her that story. Just then, as she smiled that femme to femme smile up at me, I realized I didn’t need the meetings. I just needed to know the lesbians were there in the world waiting.
Jewelle Gomez is a writer and activist. She is the author of the double Lambda Award-winning novel, “The Gilda Stories.”
Dixie Horning
So many know Phyllis as the defiant “rule” breaker and pioneer with Del. But it is not that role that impacted me the most. When I came to San Francisco in the 90’s, she and Del were Sheroes on pedestals of purple. Individuals far removed from my station in life. Upon meeting and being with Phyllis, she made me realize and appreciate that there are no “stations” of life, but that all of us are of value and worth. It was a defining moment of inspiration that allowed me to flourish in my job and in the SF community. There are no words that can measure that value.
Dixie Horning is the Executive Director of the UCSF National Center of Excellence in Women’s Health.
Kate Kendell
It has been one of the great joys of my life that I am friends with Phyllis Lyon. She and Del were early mentors of mine when I first came to San Francisco as Legal Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. We would have lunch up at their house every few weeks. We would laugh and share stories and I would listen and learn. Del’s death in August of 2008 was hard on Phyllis.
Theirs was a love story and a change maker story for 54 years. Even though Phyllis misses Del every day, she lives in the moment. She is still witty, she laughs easily and still remembers all her old rebel-rousing. She never expected to make it to 90, but we are blessed that she did.
Kate Kendell, Esq., is the Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights.
Melanie DeMore
I first met Phyllis and Del when I was a college student in San Antonio, TX, in 1974–75. I was a very baby butch, just getting into the women’s music and political scene. I was pretty star-struck and never dreamed that years later I’d be sharing the stage with Margie Adam and Mary Watkins singing “Going to the Chapel” at the celebration of their marriage. Phyllis has always been a beacon for me…a steady, proud voice that, no matter what, has remained clear and strong. A toast and a song of thanks now and always.
Activist and singer-songwriter Melanie DeMore was a founding member of the Grammy-nominated vocal ensemble Linda Tillery and the Cultural Heritage Choir. She performs and conducts workshops, and lectures both nationally and internationally.
Margie Adam
I remember being astonished to tears when I first spotted “Lesbian Woman” in an airport bookstore—right there in public! Although I had never met Del or Phyllis, I was deeply inspired by their work. So when they took their seats that night at the Inez Garcia benefit, my nerves skittered. The theater lights never dimmed, so I could see them throughout the entire concert. I’ll never forget Phyllis—a fierce woman you would not want to cross swords with—singing along with me at joyful full throttle: “…Loving is believing in the ones you love.”
Margie Adam is a Women’s Music singer-songwriter who is currently an integrative counselor in private practice.
Roma Guy
Most often with wide open eyes and extended arms, at times with mad fury, usually projecting fun even when life was a bumpy ride, Phyllis consistently proclaimed lesbian sex is fun and women loving women is sane. We are forever grateful. Phyllis does look at social and political issues comprehensively, which I admire. Patiently she enabled closeted lesbians to connect, and with a small group, she and her life partner Del Martin formed Daughters of Bilitis in 1955. Who would have imagined that the Daughters of Bilitis, the fork in the road, would have led to celebrating as we did when they legally exchanged vows and wedding rings as the first same-sex couple at City Hall in San Francisco in 2008.
Roma Guy is Co-chair of the Health Task Force and is a San Francisco-based health policy consultant.
Donna Hitchens
Reading Lesbian Women in the early 1970s transformed my life. The effects were enhanced immensely when I met Phyllis after I moved to SF. Her courage, wisdom, warmth and compassion influenced my personal, political and professional choices. When I decided to start the Lesbian Rights Project in 1977, I wanted Del and Phyllis’ blessing and help. Although I was totally intimidated, I called the home number listed in the phone book. Phyllis answered and soon said, “Of course, dear, we would love to meet you and help.” That inclusiveness and generosity continues to this day.
Donna Hitchens was the nation’s first openly lesbian elected judge, serving on the San Francisco Superior Court bench. She co-founded both the Lesbian Rights Project and the National Center for Lesbian Rights.
Leslie Katz
Phyllis, in her barely 5-foot frame, stands tall not only for all she did to advance LGBT rights, but also for mentoring those of us who followed. I still remember the rush I felt when she endorsed my Supervisorial Campaign, and then how she and Del were always there to offer insight and advice while I served on the Board. During the time I have been honored to know her, a few moments particularly stand out: 1) on the stage at MCC, she and Del were interviewed about their history and lives together, demonstrating a love lasting over half a century while being tested by so many external factors and their efforts to make the world better for generations that followed; 2) Phyllis and Del’s first wedding in 2004, and then seeing them legally married in 2008; and 3) witnessing the pride, joy and tears on her face when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on Prop. 8, opening the door for legal marriage in California.
Phyllis: Thank you and Happy Birthday!
Leslie Katz is President of the San Francisco Port Commission. She served on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from 1996 to 2001.
Diane Sabin
JEB (Joan E. Biren) was in the process of making her film about Del & Phyllis, “No Secret Anymore,” with support from Dee Mosbacher. There were some real challenges along the way, and at one point someone from the production team expressed frustration with how difficult Del & Phyllis were being. I just laughed and said, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Of course they’re difficult. How do you think they changed the world?!”
Diane Sabin, DC, is Clinic Administrative Director at the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine at UCSF.
Marcia Gallo
Phyllis Lyon: our smart, funny, fierce femme lesbian! She blazed a trail and started a movement, inspiring so many of us with her passion for life, politics, Del and her family. Happy Birthday, Phyllis—Cent’Anni!
Marcia Gallo, an Assistant Professor of History at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, has authored several books, including “Different Daughters: A History of the Daughters of Bilitis and the Rise of the Lesbian Rights Movement”(Carroll & Graf, 2006; Seal Press, 2007).
Judy Dlugacz
When I think of the true sheroes of our movement and our community, there are no two more important than Phyllis and Del. Thank you, Phyllis, for the courage and the constancy that gave us all the ability to move the mountains we needed to move over the last half century. Happy Birthday, dear friend, dear comrade. You are so much in our hearts.
Judy Dlugacz is the President and Founder of Olivia, the premiere lesbian travel company.
Karen Williams
It’s been fifty years since I opened up a dictionary to look up the word “lesbian.” The paltry description, “inhabitants of Lesbos,” did little to aid my understanding of the feelings I was experiencing at the tender age of twelve. Vague memories of a newsletter from the Daughters of Bilitis are supplanted by my own copy of Lesbian Woman by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon in 1972. My darling Phyllis, without you I would not have had the courage to step out into the unknown as a lesbian comic with pride, dignity, and the fortitude that you exemplify from the depths of your being. Phyllis, you are beloved and loved by me. I celebrate your 90th year with you! May your life continue to inspire, and may your days be filled with loud raucous and resounding laughter! I love you!
“SF Bay Times” columnist Karen Williams, M.Ed, is a popular stage performer, author and motivational speaker. She is the Founder and CEO of the HaHA Institute, hahainstitute.com
Marcy Adelman
When I founded Openhouse, the first two community people I contacted were Phyllis and Del. They invited me to their house, where they offered their support and advice. I know when I say that I took strength from their courage, generosity and wisdom that I am speaking for so many of us whose lives were transformed by their love and their advocacy. Happy Birthday, Phyllis!
Dr. Marcy Adelman is the co-founder of Openhouse and is a leader in the field of psychotheraphy
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