By Ann Rostow–
Random Thoughts, Random Subjects
I can tell what kind of column I’m going to write by my attitude during what I’ll call the “preparation” stage. I almost always write my entire column in one go, and before I start, I will scan story headlines that I have archived in the last week or so, along with other sources. At some point in this process, one of the items will stand out and inspire me to begin writing at once. Sometimes this lead item will be a big court case, or it might be an interesting essay that leads me to rethink some aspect of our complex civil rights movement.
And then there are the weeks, like this one, when I seem to have absolutely no interest in gay, lesbian, or trans news, despite the fact that this is, of course, the raison d’être of my column. This week, my first inspiration came from my wonderful cousin, who forwarded two intriguing snippets; first, the story of a woman who was run over by a large mechanical stuffed animal in a mall, and second, the tragic tale of a man whose penis was clipped and injured by his girlfriend’s IUD.
Yes, I know. I often allow myself to wander into off-topic side streets. But that’s usually when I’ve been traveling down a major GLBT roadway and feel as if we all need a little trim to the wild side to shake up our attention spans. I’m not sure I’ve ever produced a 2,000-word recap without any discussion of gay news whatsoever, and I’m not sure that’s what I’ll wind up doing today. But let’s just say I’m starting us off in the back alleys.
And I know what you’re thinking. Why would I be writing about the stuffed animal mishap in the mall rather than beginning with the catastrophic IUD incident? Well, it’s because I really want one of the animals, called “Dream Riders,” which are basically mini scooters in the form of furry creatures like elephants, lions, tigers, and pandas.
In July 2023, our mall victim was shopping with her small daughter at a mall in East Rutherford, New Jersey, when an eight-year-old on a giant elephant slammed into her from behind, injuring her foot and causing her and her daughter to fall to the ground. She is suing the mall owners for negligence, The New York Post reports. We also learn that at least two other people have been hurt by inept drivers on rented Dream Riders, which are also available for rent at the Mall of America in Minnesota, and the West Edmonton Mall in Canada.
They look like such fun! Can you imagine cruising down Castro Street on a stuffed panda bear at ten miles an hour? I’m not exactly sure how fast they go, but the photos in the Post suggest they are charming in every respect. Maybe if it caught on, some bars could set up hitching posts where you could tie off your Dream Rider while you pause for refreshment.
The website explains that the Dream Rider company doesn’t actually sell the animals, but rents them at malls for about a dollar a minute. Dream Rider says it’s “the largest provider of plush motorized animal ride-ons that are specifically designed to be a safe, comfortable, and fun entertainment option for kids and families.” Indeed, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the only provider of plus motorized animal ride-ons, but then again, this is the United States of America and who knows how many entrepreneurs and innovators are serving this niche market under the radar?
They Kill Pit Bulls, Don’t They?
Before we delve into the IUD story, here’s news about Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation and what The Advocate calls “the architect of Project 2025.” Apparently, Roberts beat his neighbor’s noisy dog to death and told several people about it back in 2004. According to The Guardian, one of Roberts’ former colleagues at New Mexico State remembers the event:
“My recollection of [Roberts’] account was that he was discussing in the hallway with various members of the faculty, including me, that a neighbor’s dog had been barking pretty relentlessly and was, you know, keeping the baby and probably the parents awake and that he kind of lost it and took a shovel and killed the dog. End of problem.”
The Guardian said that two other people remember hearing the same story from Roberts at a dinner party he hosted. And the neighbor said his dog, Loca, vanished during the same time period.
Case closed as far as I’m concerned, and this account makes Kristi Noem look like, um, I can’t think of an appropriate conclusion to that phrase because Noem still looks like a heartless psychopath. But Kevin Roberts looks worse. He’s associated with Opus Dei, the loony toons Catholic club for people who want to impose strict religious rules on everyone else in the country, which makes one wonder how it’s possible for this type of cruelty and violence to coexist with a rigid commitment to faith. Very Old Testament, n’est-ce pas?
Lastly, there was a time when a strong rumor like this one would lead other news organizations to investigate and possibly cause a scandal that would discredit the main perpetrator. These days, it’s just water under the bridge. Republicans either don’t believe it or don’t care. Democrats just feel helpless in the face of hypocrisy and brutality, both implicit in the anecdote and in Project 2025. If the electorate doesn’t understand or react to Project 2025, why would they condemn its author—even when he allegedly beats a pet dog to death with a shovel for barking?
Follow the Money, if You Can
I have a bunch of bits and pieces about the odious gay Republican Log Cabin Club, beginning with the essay from President Charles Moran urging GLBT voters to support Trump rather than the “radical sect” that backs Harris. Harris, he explains, is the pawn of “a small but powerful cabal of the LGBT Left, which wants to erase the concept of biological sex from society, expose young children to overtly sexualized and ideological content, and strip parents of their rights to make critical decisions about their children.”
The Log Cabin Club held a fundraising event at Mar-a-Lago back in April, featuring speaker Melania Trump, who was paid some $237,000 for her silver tongue. At the time, the press reported that the fee was paid by the local Log Cabin Club branch, but now we’re learning that the Log Cabin Club had nothing to do with the big bucks. Nor was the outlay listed on Trump-related campaign documents.
The Advocate speculates that gay Trumpophile Richard Grenell might have had something to do with the mystery cash. Grenell was reportedly looking for people to fund another Melania speech, this time at Trump Tower in July. It’s not clear if Melania was paid for that one, but she doesn’t seem like the sort of person who provides free favors for outside groups. The two events were raising cash for the Log Cabin crackpots, not for Trump.
And finally, I see that our gay GOP heroes were in Nashville last Sunday, raising money for Trump this time, rather than themselves. The Red White & Rock event would have cost you $500 at a minimum, but you would have had the chance to see Don Junior, Kid Rock, and Ric Flair!
I wasn’t sure who Ric Flair was so I looked him up and discovered a) he was a wrestler, b) he just split up with his fifth wife, and c) he was signing autographs in Nashville the morning before the party with Pete Rose, who died the next day! And Pete Rose looked okay in the photos. What happened?
Warning!
“Warning to all parents” from One Million Moms! “Disney+ will soon release its new Marvel Studios series, Agatha All Along, a spin-off to Wandavision, that will include queer witches.” My curiosity piqued, I googled the movie and breezed past several tepid reviews without encountering the slightest Sapphic sentiment. I had to google: “Agatha All Along lesbian” before I learned that the main character once had a relationship with another witch, while another character was a gay male but not actively so.
The description in The Daily Beast says “recent reports” indicated that Disney writers were told to muffle the lesbian vibes on Inside Out 2, where “Riley” gets a crush on one of her field hockey teammates. This, reportedly, was due to some kind of bad vibes from a same-sex kiss on Lightyear that I missed last year.
“It seems to forever be a one step forward, two steps back situation when it comes to representation with Disney,” wrote Kevin Fallon for The Daily Beast. “The queerness of Agatha All Along suggests there’s a more inclusive light at the end of the MCU tunnel—or, at the very least, at the end of the Witches’ Road.” And no, I have no idea what MCU stands for. (Update: I think it’s “Marvel Cinematic Universe.”)
Meanwhile, here’s one of the rare times when I actually agree with a critique from the One Million Moms. The earlier accord was our mutual disgust with commercials for full body deodorants, with their explicit references to genital hygiene. Keep it off the screens, people!
Now comes a legitimate complaint about Wild Willies “panty dropper” ads, which among other things are just plain stupid. Wild Willies sells beard products, and the ad implies that women who are confronted by a man with a lovely Wild Willie beard can’t help but drop their underwear around their ankles, which is shown in the spot. Say what? Really? Many straight women don’t even like beards (I am told), and the idea that female sexuality is expressed in this manner comes straight out of a frat boy fantasy, not out of actual life.
The Moms were thrilled to announce that the ad has been pulled from several television stations, while the CEO of Wild Willies said some of his critics are “overreacting” and “getting their knickers” in a twist. “Our humor is not for everyone, just like other peoples’ humor is not for us.”
Hey, I’m the first person to take a stand in support of raunchy humor, Buddy, but your ad is not particularly funny and it’s sexist in a way that I can’t precisely put my finger on. Normally, I won’t make that accusation if I can’t explain it to myself, but I feel like saying it anyway. If any of you agree, please tell me why.
Ouch!
Speaking of Project 2025 and Opus Dei, the dog killers over there are not just against abortion, they are against contraception of any sort, including IUDs, the gizmos that (I think) are placed somewhere in or near the uterus in order to impede an egg from implanting.
Well, here’s some ammunition for their campaigns! It comes from an Australian influencer named Hayley Davies, who says her IUD “took a chunk” out of her boyfriend’s penis during sex. Oh, back up a sec. Davies, who had to have the device surgically removed at the hospital, said she “felt bad for the guy,” so he doesn’t really sound like an official boyfriend. Whatever their relationship, I’m thinking this fellow is not going back to Davies for any sexcapades in the future.
Oh, my God. Hold up again!
“It seems neither let the experience impact their relationship, as the model confessed that they did, in fact, see each other again ‘once everything healed,’” The New York Post reports.
“‘You gotta be dedicated to the process,’ she added.”
Thanks again to my dear cousin, whose name will remain a secret out of my concern for her reputation as an erudite intellectual who wouldn’t be caught dead reading the Post. She also gave me a piece about a Halloween company, Yandy, that sells an Ozempic injection costume.
That reminds me that I can’t get the Jardiance song out of my head. (“As time went on, it was easy to see … I’m lower-ing my A1c!” And just writing that has made it worse.
Sing with me!
arostow@aol.com
GLBT Fortnight in Review
Published on October 3, 2024
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