Donna’s Chronicles, “We’ve become acquainted…”

By Donna Sachet –

We’ve become acquainted of late with a concept called a “soft night out.” As opposed to so many of our alcohol-fueled evenings, the focus here is on wellness and community, while still enjoying social interaction and connection. This trend seems particularly popular among Gen Z and younger individuals, a group with which we have very little contact, but find increasingly curious and even puzzling. Could this be part of the problem with struggling clubs, facing decreasing popularity? Is this impacting attendance at live entertainment venues? Is there a way to merge changing interests with challenging business models? Much has been written about the impending closing of Oasis and other businesses that are suffering with economic realities. Are there ways to encourage soft nights out within our existing entertainment structure? It’s a question that intrigues us.

Did we recently enjoy a soft night out without realizing it in advance? Last Saturday, we set off on a sailing adventure with seven friends, not without liquor refreshments, certainly, but primarily to enjoy their company and to indulge in the beautiful San Francisco Bay. At the Queer Life Space gala back in May (about which you surely read in Donna’s Chronicles in the San Francisco Bay Times), we made the high bid on a sailing adventure and subsequently gathered a willing group of participants for the experience. Sharing two different cars, we were whisked to Redwood City to regroup at Hurrica restaurant at Westpoint Harbor, a beautifully appointed space with a wraparound bar, extensive wine wall, glassed-in sparkling kitchen, and incredible two-sided fish tank, featuring graceful jellyfish. We shared light hors d’oeuvres and cocktails with Gary Virginia, Ben & Moxie Penn, Cody Dapper, Michelle Jester, Ralph Hibbs, and Salvator Tovar, while taking in the sweeping bayside views. Then it was time for the real adventure!

A representative from Peninsula Youth Sailing Foundation met us at the dock for a brief safety lesson before hopping into inflatable rafts that took us to fresh-faced teenaged skippers. In their experienced care, we then boarded several 18-foot sailboats and glided out onto the glistening water. Yes, there were awkward lifejackets and a couple of sharp tilts along the way with plenty of ducking to avoid contact with the main sail’s boom, but within minutes, we were entranced by the smooth trek, and the sparkling water lit by a quiet sunset. Our skipper enthusiastically answered our many questions, anxious to share his sailing expertise.

After what seemed like only minutes, our sailing came to an end and we returned to Hurrica to be greeted by the Executive Director of Queer Life Space, Ryan MacCarrigan, who joined us for a conversation-filled gourmet dinner of beautifully prepared dishes and attentive service. Wine and cocktails flowed, but we remember the dinner much more for the culinary delights and the stimulating conversation.

Both the Peninsula Youth Sailing Foundation and Hurrica are partners with Queer Life Space, having offered this experience as an auction item at the May gala. LGBTQ+ youth are offered sailing adventures and instruction as part of Queer Life Space’s programs. Check out their website for a more complete picture of their outreach and client testimonials.

So, have we now experienced a soft night out? We did enjoy alcoholic beverages, but not to excess. We spent time with long-time friends and newer ones as well. We left the safety of familiar surroundings, stepping out of our comfort zone and delving into more meaningful conversations. But many of those same experiences are possible in the Castro with a bit of planning and intention. Maybe the lesson is that an occasional soft night out with people we like can provide a refreshing alternative to the routine, bridging the gap between what we typically look for in an evening and what Gen Z and others are seeking. Just some food for thought…

Sunday afternoon found us back at 440 Castro, but for a celebration of life for John Harrington, frequent patron of the bar and its parklet, which he was instrumental in creating. The bar and street were crowded with friends. Gary Virginia outdid himself with decorations, flowers, an extensive buffet, and a short program, all reflecting John’s proud Irish heritage. DJ Jim Hopkins played perfect retro music and had gathered photos and videos from John’s life that played on all the video screens.

Among the speakers were Reverend Lyle Beckman, former Supervisor Tony Hall, Mark Abramson, and assorted friends, each with a unique memory of this generous and much-loved gentleman. A video from the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus performing Grace provided a touching musical tribute, followed by our own rendition of “Danny Boy,” an Irish favorite of John’s. We were especially aware of how this crowded bar stayed hushed with attention throughout the program. Each attendee left with a small Irish keepsake as they hustled out into the night. This was an event full of joy and remembrance for a man who left his mark on his community.

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist, and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

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Calendar a/la Sachet

Thursday, September 4
Rainbow Honor Walk fundraiser
Celebrating Roger Casement plaque
Irish music, food & drink
Casement’s, 2351 Mission Street
5–8 pm  Free!
www.rainbowhonorwalk.org

Friday, September 12
2025 Hand to Hand Gala
Project Open Hand
celebrates 40 years
SF Design Center Galleria
101 Henry Adams Street
6–10 pm  $300
www.openhand.org

Saturday, September 13
Myths & Legends:
GAPA Runway Pageant
LGBTQ+ Asian & Pacific Islanders Miss, Mr., & Mx GAPA
Herbst Theatre
401 Van Ness Avenue
7 pm  $30 & up
www.gapa.org

Donna’s Chronicles
Published on August 28, 2025