By David Landis, The Gay Gourmet—
As my loyal readers know, I’m generally a very positive guy—especially when it comes to restaurants. Unlike some critics, I generally try to find what I like about the dining experience, and share it with my readers. That said, there are some situations that just irk the you-know-what out of me. So, I’m embracing my inner grinch and sharing several of them, along with places here in the Bay Area that actually solve the issue brilliantly.
Pet Peeve #1: Trying to get a cocktail in this town when you sit down to dinner
Pretty much everywhere in San Francisco, when you sit down, you’re asked what kind of water you want. OK, but I prefer the waiters in New York who, when you sit down, ask you if you’d like a drink. Yes, some people don’t imbibe with alcohol, but most of us want something other than water to drink. And the waiter’s tip goes up accordingly. I’ve waited up to 30 minutes to get a drink, in some of the “best” places in town. So, why do restaurants do this (please, readers, let me know)?
Who Does It Right: Hillstone and Florio
When you are seated at Hillstone, they don’t just ask you what kind of water you want. They ask if you’d like something to drink. My shaken gin martini arrives within a minute. Another plus? When you’re halfway through your giant pour martini, they arrive with yet another chilled glass to finish off your cocktail. Bravo! A second place that does it right is Florio, but that could be because I’m a regular there. When I walk in the door, bartenders Peter and Craig are already mixing my drink, and it’s ready before I sit down. Now, that’s good service! (Hint: become a regular in at least one neighborhood place near you, and you’ll find you are rewarded with great service.)
Pet Peeve #2: No salt and pepper shakers on the table
I like to intone the famous words of the fictitious Miranda Priestly (from The Devil Wears Prada), when describing this circumstance. “I just don’t understand … ,” she would say, and I would add, “why restaurants don’t have their salt and pepper shakers on the table anymore.” Is it because the chef thinks their dish is perfect and requires no seasoning? Or is it because it costs too much money to keep clean shakers out on tables with grubby hands? Inquiring minds want to know. (Again, readers, please enlighten me!)
Who Does It Right: Balboa Café (hopefully after solving their recent rat infestation)
You’ll always find a salt and pepper shaker on your table from the moment you sit down. And, if you sit at the bar, they’ll deliver a salt and pepper shaker right after you get your cocktail, when you order your food. While you’re there, don’t forget to order their famous and delectable chicken paillard (available only on Wednesdays), and their infamous espresso martinis (the best and most potent in town).
Pet Peeve #3: Servers clearing dishes on the table before all parties have finished their meal
I admit it. I may be the slowest eater on the planet. I take that back: my brother John is still finishing his salmon dinner from 2024. But, as one of the slowest eaters (which I’m always told is “healthier”), others consistently finish before me. Waiters who haven’t been trained properly actually think it’s good service to clean the plates of diners who finish before other diners. But, here, I’m intoning former San Francisco Chronicle restaurant critic Michael Bauer, who would rail against such practices, and sometimes penalize a restaurant’s rating because of it. When a waiter clears the plates of other party members, it makes the slow eater feel guilty and/or pressure to finish the meal quickly. Dining should be an enjoyable, unwinding experience, not a rat race.
Who Does It Right: Starbelly (and Super Server Brooke)
I just had lunch at this Castro mainstay and was impressed with server Brooke who intentionally did not clear the place of my dining companion until I finished my meal. We had a conversation about it and she agrees: dining should be relaxing, and guests should take all the time they need to eat the way they want to.
Pet Peeve #4: Restaurants that are so loud you have to scream at your neighbor
This seems to be a common restaurant design mistake, in my humble opinion. I know that restaurants want to create a “buzzy” experience, but many of San Francisco’s restaurants are now so loud you have to yell at the person next to you to carry on a conversation. I’m glad, then, to see that the San Francisco Chronicle has reinstated its loudness barometer for reviews, so guests can take this into consideration when choosing a restaurant. Again, dining should be a restful experience, and one in which you can catch up with your dining pals without shouting.
Who Does It Right: The Rotunda at Neiman Marcus and L’Ardoise Bistro in the Castro
The Rotunda at Neiman Marcus is a throwback to another era of elegance. Yes, you’ll be quaffing and noshing with the ladies who lunch, but that’s half the fun. You’ll be dining under the historic stained-glass dome, with views of Union Square at the perimeter. Insider’s tip: Go for lunch, ask for a window seat, and splurge with their oysters, caviar, and champagne. You’ll be making your mark with the society set, so dress the part. Another place that’s romantic and quiet is the French bistro L’Ardoise in the Castro. Traditional French fare dominates the menu. My favorite is to sit at the bar and watch the hot chef turn out amazing dishes, one after another. And, yes, you’ll be able to hear your date talk about how great you look, how they really want to get you home after the meal, and how they want to continue the romantic evening in the bedroom.
Pet Peeve #5: Kids who don’t behave at restaurants
I remember that my parents, John and LaVerne Shirley, would take us kids to some lovely restaurants growing up. But they were clear about one thing: you act up, and you’re leaving the restaurant—to not only be banished in the car, but you won’t be going out to fancy restaurants in the future. That lesson stayed with all 3 of us kids. So, I’m amazed at the parents these days who let their kids run around like maniacs.
Who Does It Right: My husband, Sean Dowdall
We were having lunch at Perry’s when a group of kids was so rambunctious that they actually ran into my husband’s chair and almost knocked him over. In the words of Bewitched’s Endora, “He had had it.” He calmly got up and told the two moms behind us that Perry’s is not McDonald’s. He said that, if they wanted their kids to run around, they could go to the Presidio to let off steam. Mission accomplished!
Bits and Bites
Big news: there’s a new restaurant moving into the former Café Flore/Fisch & Flore space in the Castro, hopefully by Pride month. According to the San Francisco Standard, Parasol at Flore is set to take over the prominent location. Restaurateur Jacob Paronyan helms the project and his vitae includes stints at the esteemed Boulevard, as well as owning the well-regarded Roaming Goat. It’ll be a more casual dining experience, with counter service during the day and table service at night. We have high hopes!
Every year, I look forward to the Mostly British Film Festival, run by my pal Ruthe Stein. Often, I’m out of town, but I love examining the roster of films for, quelle surprise, something that highlights food and drink. So, here’s what Ruthe has to say about the upcoming Tom Jones feature, which screens February 7 at the Vogue Theatre:
“Can soup, dark bread, lobster claws, and mugs of beer be sexy? You bet they can. Just take a look at the famous (infamous?) eating scene in the great 1963 movie Tom Jones. Albert Finney as Tom and Joyce Redman as Jenny seduce each other over a meal of chicken thighs, lobster, and, of course, oysters on the half shell, all the while glaring at each other with that old come-hither stare, meaning there’s more where this came from. As the food courses arrive and disappear, Tom and Jenny get into a rhythm and eat faster and faster—you get the idea. They end with two juicy, lip-smacking pears, and then they slow down with a luscious after-dinner drink; for the modern audience, think cigarette. The whole time, you hear them smacking their lips and sucking their food. The eating scene is a gustatory orgy, which foreshadows the real thing that you never actually see in the movie. After all that mouth play, what’s the need?”
Hillstone: https://bit.ly/49Z4MqH
Florio: https://floriosf.com/
Balboa Café: https://www.balboacafesf.com/
Starbelly: https://www.starbellysf.com/
The Rotunda at Neiman Marcus: https://tinyurl.com/37398z3b
L’Ardoise Bistro: https://lardoisesf.com/
Perry’s on Union Street: https://www.perryssf.com/
Mostly British Film Festival at the Vogue: https://mostlybritish.org/
David Landis, aka “The Gay Gourmet,” is a foodie, a freelance writer, and a retired PR maven. You can email him at: davidlandissf@gmail.com Or visit him online at: www.gaygourmetsf.com
The Gay Gourmet
Published on January 29, 2026
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