By Ann Rostow
Gay Like Me
When you’re part of a small minority, as we are, it feels as if every celebrity member of the group becomes a reflection on you. Of course that’s not true, but still, my stomach fell when I heard that the latest insane murderer in Virginia was gay. Really? Did he have to be Black and gay? Don’t we all have enough negative stereotypes? It reminded me of the lunatic killer in San Francisco earlier this summer; an illegal immigrant deported multiple times only to return and shoot an innocent woman to death in cold blood for no reason. Red meat for the far right.
In the same vein, I was gratified to learn that Oliver Sacks was gay. There’s a man we can all welcome to the community, albeit posthumously. According to his autobiography, the sweet looking doctor once squatted six hundred pounds and rode around on a Harley in full leather gear. Who knew?
It would be nice if one or two of the valiant marines on the train to Paris could come out of the closet. Guys? Anyone gay? Any fours or fives on the Kinsey scale? If not, I ask my youthful gay brothers and sisters to be alert for heroic opportunities in the future. I will live vicariously through your feats.
Kentucky Kook Stays Defiant
As this issue goes to press, the impasse continues between the grandstanding Kentucky clerk, Kim Davis, and the federal courts. Indeed, Davis, who refuses to marry anyone, gay or straight, has now defied a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court, which declined to intervene in her litigation on Monday, August 31. Earlier, a lower court judge had ordered Davis to resume licensing marriages in Rowan County, and the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit had agreed. That order had been put on hold until Monday, at which point the full Supreme Court allowed the hold to expire without comment.
Lawyers for the couples who would like to marry have now asked the lower court to hold Davis in contempt and issue fines (but not jail time). And for those of you who are wondering why the Governor or someone doesn’t just replace this nutcase, it turns out that Bourbon State clerks cannot be fired except by the legislature, which is not in session.
Of course Davis could simply resign. But this she has refused to do, suggesting instead that couples who wish to marry simply drive to the next county. She has also refused to let an underling issue a license because she won’t allow her signature to appear on some of the standard paperwork. Meanwhile, the gay couples have said that, as a matter of principle, they want to marry in their home county where they live and pay taxes.
So, it seems as if Kim Davis is going to be the poster girl for the much talked about clash between religious freedom and gay rights, which is excellent news. Many Americans believe (wrongly in my view) that an antigay Christian business owner should not have to provide a service that supports same-sex marriages. But few Americans believe a government bureaucrat should be allowed to pick and choose which taxpayers should be eligible for drivers licenses, building permits or even marriage licenses, based on personal faith.
Also, Kim Davis is anything but a charming devout Christian. She’s nasty and her meanness shines through. Then there are the rumors that she’s been divorced several times. I’m not sure of the number, but it’s at least one time and possibly two or three times. So much for deferring to God’s authority.
I say this because I’m guessing that Davis will be found in contempt of court and fined. I’m guessing again that people will start crowdfunding on her behalf, and that her fellow far right Christians will foot the bill. The mainstream media has already moved this story to the top of their assignment lists, so I’m further guessing that Ms. Davis is going to be the subject of press scrutiny, and that not all of it will be flattering. We’ll see. I’m just glad that in our first big media fight we’re not at odds with “Granny” Jones of Mom and Pop’s bakery, with her kindly face and starched apron, who loves her gay nephew but just can’t see her way to making that wedding cake.
They Call Him Peter, Peter, Faster Than Lightening
This morning I clicked on a link to a story about two gay brothers in organized crime who had an incestuous affair, and eventually decided the item didn’t rise to the high standards of this column. But while I was at it, I found a sidebar about a woman who had sex with a dolphin named Peter. I even copied a quote out of that item: “It was sexual on his part,” she said, “it was not sexual on mine, sensual perhaps.” Hmmm. Perhaps.
But wait. That piece referred to another fish story, a romance between a man named Malcolm Brenner, now in his mid-sixties, who had something going on with a dolphin named Dolly in a Florida park back in 1971. Brenner said Dolly “came on” to him, and that they would wait for her mate to be put back in his pen before indulging themselves.
Yes, I know that dolphins aren’t fish.
And yes, I know that this has little or nothing to do with GLBT news. OK, fine. It has nothing to do with GLBT news. But it’s interesting, n’est-ce pas? Sometimes I wonder what life will be like in a hundred years, and I think back to 1915 and wonder if people back then wondered about life in 2015. I’m sure they did. This is just to say that I believe we will be able to converse with dolphins by 2115. At which point we can get Peter and Dolly’s viewpoint on these relationships.
“Eek eeeek eeee eel eeeek!” (“He said I came on to him? That S.O.B.”)
“Eeeeeeek eek ah ah ah eeek” (“It wasn’t just sexual. I loved her.”)
One thing I’m sure of. All cars will be self driving and people will look back and shudder at the idea of hundreds of cars racing down the Interstate at 75 mph right next to each other with individuals at the wheel, many of them drunk, texting, singing and eating. Road trip!
True confession. I once took a summer road trip from Connecticut to Austin wearing a bikini and steering with my feet on cruise control while my friend fixed gin and tonics in the passenger seat. We’d stop briefly at motels where I’d dive into the pool and she would get more ice. This was years and years ago, back when driving while intoxicated was amusing.
Homeland Security Gets Creepy
Here’s a new topic. What do you think about decriminalizing prostitution? Would such a shift empower women and provide a safety net for sex workers? Or would it legitimize exploitation, encourage trafficking and further debase the victims of the sex trade?
The answer depends on whether or not you view prostitution as inherently abusive towards women, or whether you see it as a profession. And the debate is complicated when you take into account male prostitutes. We all assume, in a way, that the guys can take care of themselves. No one imagines a pimp in pinstripes and a hat slapping a man around because he took a coffee break.
Now consider the bizarre take down of rentboy.com, the online gay escort service that has been around for nearly 20 years. As August drew to a close, the New York Police Department and a bunch of Homeland Security agents arrested a half dozen of the company’s top executives and shut down the service, calling it an online brothel. Homeland Security? Aren’t they supposed to be routing out terrorists? And why target a company that has operated without incident since 1997? A little gay bias perchance?
I’m sure the guys on rent boys have a few horror stories to tell, but on the whole, these men are not coerced into escort-ville, and indeed have chosen to make money though sex of their own free will. Why bust them? Indeed, why criminalize a consensual give and take in the first place? After all, we don’t criminalize porn stars, and they’re getting paid for sex. What’s the difference?
That said, I seem to feel differently about, let’s call it classic prostitution. I feel differently about the women on the street corner in the middle of the night waiting for sleazy johns to cruise by and use them for a quick blowjob. I feel differently about pimps. I don’t want them to be legal. I think there is a part of the sex business that is coercive and I’m not sure how you legalize prostitution in general without giving a green light to the abuse of many women who have not “freely chosen” to sell themselves for a living.
There must be some way for the law to differentiate between truly consensual sex work and exploitation—leaving the former alone but attacking the latter. Until someone comes up with that plan, I’ll remain undecided.
Equality for Whale Bashers?
Guess what? The Faroe Islands are about to vote on marriage equality. I think by the time you read these words the vote will be over, so you can learn the outcome right away. I gather the islanders really enjoy killing whales, so frankly, I don’t care what happens to them. Go ahead and vote against marriage equality. Bunch of murderers.
I can also tell you that Pope Francis did not endorse a gay friendly children’s book. One of his aides sent a nice reply to a letter from the lesbian author of Piccolo Ouvo that included a boilerplate papal blessing at the end. But the blessing was directed towards the lesbian letter writer, not towards her book. Meanwhile, that book and another like it have been banned from school libraries by the new conservative mayor of Venice, Luigi Brugnaro. Brugnaro originally banned several dozen gay friendly kids books, but after an outcry he cut the blacklist to two, including Piccolo Ouvo, “Little Egg,” the story of an egg who encounters different types of families on its journey.
There’s something jarring about the idea of a conservative mayor of Venice. Not sure why. And speaking of the Pope, I read that he thinks women who have had an abortion can be forgiven by priests. That’s big of him, I suppose. Keep in mind that for all his friendliness, he has never said that priests can forgive a lesbian.
Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.
I guess the Ashley Madison list is easily searchable online, where you check up on your loved ones by name or email address. Guys, really? Not you, I’m talking to the straight guys. Did you really think it would be that easy? Already the trap has shut on poor old Josh Duggar, the family values reality star who was already nailed for sexually abusing his sisters back in the day. And I just read about a preacher man who had to resign from his pulpit for a year after admitting that he took a peek at the site out of curiosity (and apparently left his email address in the database).
I’m not sure how many other scandales will emerge from the leak, but it just goes to prove that nothing you do online is ever private. As another example, one of the emails that seeped out of the Hillary Clinton stockpile was a note from advisor Sidney Blumenthal, who opined after the 2010 midterms that John Boehner was a louche, lazy alcoholic whom nobody pays any attention to.
Louche? Who uses that word? I love it.
arostow@aol.com
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