Destination Weddings

The first I ever heard of destination weddings was when my daughter got married 11 years ago. She and her husband got married in Cabo San Lucas. I didn’t understand why they were going so far away for their wed­ding. I thought it would have been better close to home, so more of their friends could come. But they wanted to go there. They loved Mexico, and Cabo in particular, they had attend­ed friends’ destination weddings, and it just was right for them. It was a gorgeous wedding right on the beach just before sunset–very romantic! I enjoyed the 3 or 4 days before and after the ceremony, so it was like a mini-vacation for me and everyone else, too.

That was the same year I was or­dained and started my practice as a wedding officiant. Since then, I have participated in lots of destina­tion weddings. Couples plan these for several reasons.

One big reason is, it saves a ton of money if you have a huge family and lots of friends, all of whom would be offended if they weren’t all invited to the wedding. If a couple starts their marriage spending what amounts to a fortune just on the wedding–well, it’s just not good economics. So, they fly a few thousand miles away, and have a tiny wedding party (some­times only the two of them!) and then have all that saved money for their honeymoon, or even for a down pay­ment on their first home

And many whom I’ve married chose the specific location because it’s meaningful for them as a couple. They got engaged there. They fell in love there. They have come to one particular beach, B & B, or coastal town every year to do all the fun na­ture things: hike, bike, sail, paddle, kayak, and want to keep coming back every year. Last summer, I mar­ried a couple from Chicago on Mc­Clure’s Beach. It was a sweet wed­ding in the late afternoon. On their wedding night, they went with about 10 of their friends on a nighttime kayak trip in Tomales Bay called a bioluminescence paddle tour. They were almost more excited about that than the ceremony.

Another reason for deciding on a destination wedding is when a couple wants their loved ones to hang out with them in a vacation paradise for longer than a few hours. They want to share some of the first few days of the honeymoon with their friends and families.

A couple I married last weekend found a lovely private garden on a bluff above Stinson Beach. It was one of those magnificent late-summer days. There were about 130 guests; some traveled from as far away as China and Alaska. Some of the guests camped nearby, so were able to save on lodgings and spend their money on all the fun things that were planned for the next couple days.

Yet another reason for a destination wedding–even if it’s just a road trip–is that a lot of us here in the Bay Area enjoy our close-by getaways, such as weekend jaunts to the Point Reyes Peninsula, Bodega Bay, Napa and more. These gorgeous spots are just a few hours drive away, so they are relatively easy destinations for locally-based guests.

And besides all those reasons, it’s just plumb gorgeous in the Bay Area, isn’t it? I mean all over the Bay Area. Who doesn’t want to get married here?

Last spring, at the Gay Vanity Wed­ding Show in SF, I met Dan from Napa Kitchen Gardens (www.napak­itchengardens.com). It’s an LGBT-owned wedding venue in the Napa Valley. I loved the concept, and hope to be invited to do a wedding there some time. Check out their website! Looks like the perfect, glamorous lo­cal destination wedding venue.

Rev. Elizabeth River is an ordained in­terfaith minister and wedding officiant in the North Bay. Please visit www.marin­coastweddings.com or look for Marin Coast Weddings on Facebook.