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    A Bachelor Meets His Match

    reverendOpposites often really do attract. Such connections, which perhaps come more from the heart than other factors, can result in successful pairings, as the below conversation between two halves of an “odd couple” proves.

    Zeke: Let’s get married.

    Zach: Get married?

    Zeke: Yeah, people do it all the time.

    Zach: Yes, but us?

    Zeke: Why not?

    Zach: But I thought you felt you were never going to be the marrying kind. You like being a bachelor.

    Zeke: Well, I did. I thought that was an important pillar of our relationship. It gave me that edgy feeling, you know? It seemed to be what made us different and special. I mean, look at all the trouble married guys have–always worrying about their husband flirting or even cheating, about what happens when they lose their looks, stuff like that.

    Zach: Yes, so why are you proposing now?

    Zeke: I changed my mind. See, this totally bizarre thing happened. I woke up this morning and you’d already left for work, and it’s like there was this golden light in the room. Actually, right over by the window. Kind of an aura, I guess. I don’t know what the hell it was. And you know, I think all that sort of thing is completely woo-woo, mumbo jumbo, but it really happened. It’s like you left some essence of yourself in our bedroom just for me. For me! In fact, when I got over the twilight zone, I thought it seemed like maybe you were proposing to me. Either that or you had just been run over and this was your ghost come to comfort me or something. And when I had that thought, I realized I did not want to lose you, ever.

    Zach: You have got to be kidding me, right? First, I have never heard you say this many words to me at one time since we met four years ago. And second, while I love hearing that you don’t ever want to lose me, this just sounds so totally weird and, well you said it: woo woo and mumbo jumbo. A golden light? An aura? You always laugh at people who talk like that.

    Zeke: Yeah, I know. But it really happened. I can’t describe it any better. So I had to say it. I couldn’t wait until you got home to ask you. And I’m so anxious now: Will you marry me?

    Zach: But we aren’t even compatible. We’re the odd couple.

    Zeke: The odd couple? How is that?

    Zach: Are you kidding me? We are total opposites in every way possible–race, social style, politics, you sing like an angel and I’m tone-deaf, you’re quiet and I can’t stop talking—you name it.

    Zeke: You say banana and I say banahnah; I say tomato and you say tomahto? But what about gender? We’re both guys. That makes us more compatible than most of the married couples in the world. We really know each other. Let me ask you something. Despite all these “opposites” you mentioned, have we not worked out every argument and even fight we’ve had since we’ve been together, without even coming to blows?  We’ve bought a flat and learned to love each other’s relatives. Don’t we have the best relationship of most of the married couples we know? I think maybe odd couples can have the strongest unions, so are you going to answer my question?

    Zach: Uh, shouldn’t you mention–love?

    Zeke: I love you. Will you marry me, Zach?

    Zach: Yes, I believe I will.

    Zeke: When?

    Zach: Tomorrow?

    Zeke: Yes!

    Zach: Yeah, I’m happy too, but Zeke? I have to confess. I really love it that you’re so quiet most of the time. Are you going to start talking all of the time, like you just did tonight?

    Zeke: Nope. Come here.

    Reverend Elizabeth River is an ordained interfaith minister and wedding officiant in the North Bay. Please visit or go to Facebook at