By Gina Grahame–
The presidential debate between former President Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris on September 10, 2024, is now in the history books. Immediately thereafter, political insiders were saying, “If you want to know who won the debate, who commanded the stage, then watch it with the sound off. The body language of each of them said it all.”
A quick Google search will show many experts say 70%–93% of communication is non-verbal. The primary data source for many of these articles is the work of Dr. Albert Mehrabian, and his “7-38-55 Rule” from his 1971 book Silent Messages. Dr. Mehrabian’s rule states:
• 7% of communication is the
words we say;
• 38% is how we say them
(tonality, rhythm, modulation,
inflection, etc.);
• 55% is body language;
• and, in short, what we see
overrides what we hear.
Using this rule, and politics aside, it’s easy to say that, yes, Vice President Harris won the debate and Donald Trump lost. Vice President Harris commanded the stage from the opening moment as she walked tall and with purpose across the stage to shake the former president’s hand. Trump, by comparison, walked out slowly, slightly hunched, and stopped at his podium.
In her rallies, Vice President Harris has repeatedly said, “If you got something to say, then say it to my face.” Yet former president Trump would not look at her, never once making eye contact; even as she attacked his judgement, his temperament, and even his ability to entertain supporters at his own rallies.
The “faces of Kamala” meme that has gone viral since the debate further shows her command as she looks to the former president in disbelief, incredulity, determination, ownership, and even pity at his rambling, spiraling, demonstratively false statements.
Vice President Harris’ focus moved between Trump and us (the camera). Former president Trump stared only at the moderators, his head tilted slightly down, looking through the upper part of his eyes, in an attempted power play. He held onto the podium, hunched slightly, for most of the night. His pursed “duck lips” and fake smile were attempts at masking the anger and contempt he felt toward her and her comments. His repeated sniffs were meant to give him a quick moment to pull another outlandish accusation out of the air. All of this shows the importance of knowing what your body is communicating while you are talking and listening.
In my work as an executive communication coach, I regularly see people whose body language stands in direct contrast to what they are saying. Reading an individual’s body language isn’t about using a single gesture to determine fact or fiction; rather, it’s about noting each inconsistency to create a fuller picture of what the person is really communicating.
Recently, one of the 16 emerging leaders in a corporate team training on “executive presence and influence” was deaf. During the exercise portion of the workshop, each person stands at the front of the room and gives a short speech, after which I ask the group, “Do you believe them? Are you ready to follow their leadership?” This time, most of the class repeatedly said “yes” for each person.
But the individual who was deaf said “no” every time, because they weren’t listening; they were only watching—watching the person from the moment they stood up and started walking toward the front of the room, through when the person finished speaking. This clever observer would notice the lack of eye contact, the swaying on their feet, the odd hand gesture, the lack of emotion on their face, the excessive blinking, or the out of place head shake. You may say statements with confidence, but one’s nervousness, personal insecurity, and uncertainty with the content can often shine through in their body language.
To help you develop your own positive body language, here’s one of my “go to” exercises you can do in just 5 minutes a week, in the privacy of your home:
1. Put your cell phone on a tripod and record in video mode to make a video.
2. Go to a random question generator site, of which there are many, such as:
https://bit.ly/4gu0zxI
https://randomquestionmaker.com/
https://questionsgenerator.com/
3. Imagine you’re speaking with someone specific, such as a boss, a client, a colleague, an underling, or an investor. If you don’t imagine someone specific and you’re thinking, “I’m talking to my phone,” your vocal pattern will change.
4. Answer the random question; 30–45 seconds is enough. If the question doesn’t promote a thoughtful answer, simply add, “And why?” to the question.
5. Study the playback in 3 distinct ways:
a. 1st playback – audio only. Turn the screen away and just listen.
b. 2nd playback – video only. Turn the volume down and just watch.
c. 3rd playback – audio and video together.
6. Amplifier: In the next session or with the next question, change up your audience or your position (standing versus sitting) and see how your body language changes.
In just 5 minutes you can record and review a single question and answer. Do this, and your ability to effectively communicate on your feet will improve. Do this, and your ability to handle Q&A in your next presentation will improve. Do this, and your ability to have influence on your audience, be it one person or one thousand, will improve.
Pro Tip!
Try watching a movie or tv show with the sound off; you’ll be surprised at how easily it is to follow the story without hearing a single word of dialogue—all while developing your own awareness of the body language of others.
Gina Grahame, a GGBA member since 2015, has helped over 2,000 Googlers to develop their own unique voice and leadership style through her 1:1 coaching, workshops, and lectures. She is also an adjunct lecturer and communication coach at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. She is the Founder of Authentaceous Leadership. www.Authentacious.com
GGBA Member Spotlight
Published on September 19, 2024
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