Bucket List Equals Hope

By Dr. Tim Seelig–

A few weeks ago, I jumped out of an airplane at 14,500 feet.

I know. Crazy. Everyone was surprised (shocked). There were so many questions. “Why?” “Was it on your bucket list?” My response to the first was, “Because.” To the second, “Duh. Isn’t skydiving on everyone’s list?”

That made me focus on the whole concept of bucket list. It’s probably obvious that it is directly related to the phrase, “kick the bucket.” The origin is not pretty. The earliest mention had to do with a yoke used in the slaughter of pigs. I’ll stop there. It is more often related to people standing on a bucket with a noose around their neck. Either they kick the bucket away or someone else does. The kicker is sometimes not determined. These days, we use it for less dramatic things such as, “My iPad kicked the bucket.” Kicker still not apparent.

Bucket List = Hope!

When you have nothing to dream about or plan, hope is gone. One of the biggest dangers is to “kick the can (bucket) down the road.” How many people have you heard of who waited until they retired to do the things on their list, only to kick the bucket before getting to the whole bucket thing? The time is now.

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The concept gained huge popularity with the 2007 movie, The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.

If you don’t know where to start, here are six great tips:

1. Give it a name. “Life List.” “Dream List.”
2. Write it down. People who do this are 33% more likely to do it.
3. Start with 25 short- and long-term things.
4. Find ideas with no limits. Create categories.
5. Share your list with close friends or family.
6. Make it a party game asking questions of everyone.

When you are 40, you believe you have all the time in the world. You can spread the list out. You can have a small bucket for the short-term items that you can empty quickly. You can have a big old dream bucket list you can check off from for the next 35 years.

When you’re almost 75, you don’t have time to spread that stuff out over time. You’ve got to get crackin’.

There are primary themes for most bucket lists and I’ve got most of them covered:

• travel;
• accomplish a personal goal or milestone;
• spend quality time with friends and family;
• achieve financial stability;
• do a daring activity.

Spending time with friends and family is top of the list. This past weekend, my granddaughter, who is 13, took her first solo flight to spend a weekend with me in Portland. I’ll be visiting my other three grand girls in Dallas in a few weeks. This is priceless.

When my kids were growing up, it was important for them to love animals. We had them all. They both grew up to be animal lovers, as have the grand girls. I’ve had a life-long goal of one day trading in choirs for kittens and puppies. I’m doing that at the local humane society a minimum of three days a week. I love it so much. They meow, purr, bark, whine, and howl. Music to my ears. I’m still working on getting them to do it together.

Milestones are more elusive at this age, but I am going to wave my arms at Lincoln Center in November performing the life-changing Sing for the Cure for its 25th Anniversary.

I’m not sure any of us knows about financial security these days. I am very lucky to still be conducting and consulting on the side to make life comfortable.  Just when I thought I could check conducting a choir off the list, it popped back up. I am waving my arms every week at Portland Sage Singers: Q+ Elders and Allies.

Travel is at the top of my list. Most of you know I had a troubled relationship with my son for years after I came out. We fixed that. Time healed that. I turn 75 in January and in March we are celebrating with a Father/Son trip. To Bali. Did he say Bali? Yup. My son purchased the trip at a Turtle Creek Chorale auction! Little did I know Bali was on the opposite side of the globe! We will be there for the annual celebration, Nyepi. The entire island goes completely dark for 24 hours. Of course, Bobby Jo is coming along as are our dear friends Robert and Bryan. We’ll precede that will 5 days in Hong Kong. That’s a big ass bucket.

There is an entire section of the list that no one ever thinks about, but it impacts all of the above. The reason it is not on there is because no one wants to think it will happen to them. After a hundred years of conducting, I had rotator cuff surgery on retirement. I am sandwiching my first knee replacement between Lincoln Center and Bali. I’ll get the second knee done when the season with my choir is done. It leaves no time for my face or butt lift.

As you can see, my hope bucket is alive and well. Writing this, I am reminded how very lucky I have been in my life. I am humbled at the opportunities I’ve been given. I am grateful every single day. More like every hour of every day. I am grateful to and for you. I am a very blessed man.

I do know one thing. As for the suggestion to do something daring? That’s nice, but I won’t be jumping out of a plane again! Ever.

Dr. Tim Seelig is the Conductor Laureate of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. http://www.timseelig.com/

TLC: Tears, Laughs & Conversation
Published on August 14, 2025