By Joanie Juster–
For much of this year, I have found myself in the role of caregiver to friends and family unable to take care of themselves. I have spent many long hours in medical facilities and sickrooms, providing aid and comfort, acting as advocate when faced with a healthcare system that is overwhelming, confusing, and frustrating, digging up information necessary to keep the medical care flowing, and notifying and comforting other friends and family. I have worked hard to meet both the physical and emotional needs of my loved ones, and, against all odds, to respect both their wishes and their dignity.
It has been exhausting, rewarding, and eye-opening.
When a person becomes incapacitated, whether by illness or accident, they often find themselves having to relinquish control over their lives to others. Friends, family, and strangers—medical professionals or others—suddenly have access to their most personal and private information. The contents of bank accounts, underwear drawers, kitchen cupboards, and bathroom cabinets are opened to inspection and speculation. Bodily functions become open topics of discussion. Old secrets come to light; questions are asked. Privacy and modesty may vanish. The lack of autonomy can become another source of stress and grief for the patient.
Thirty-three years ago, I trained to become a Practical Support volunteer with Shanti, so I could provide practical assistance to people who were dying of AIDS. That training, and the aid I provided to my Shanti clients, was lifechanging, and to this day remains the most important work I’ve ever done. Among the valuable lessons drilled into us was the need to protect our clients’ privacy and dignity. Our job was to provide non-judgmental support to people at the most vulnerable time of their lives. The importance of those lessons is becoming clearer to me every day.
That training has served me well this year, as I’ve tried to carry that Shanti training into the sickrooms of friends and family. It didn’t occur to me at the time—in fact, it didn’t occur to me until this year—that what I was doing then fell under the umbrella of hospice care. I’m 70 now, and it is becoming clear that the years ahead will include more caregiving, or others taking care of me, or both. The bottom line is, as ever, the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
The Road to Gilead
After a couple of weeks of pointless infighting and proving on a daily basis that they not only don’t know how to govern, but don’t really have any interest in governing, the Republic Party chose a Speaker of the House who has made it clear that he has both feet firmly planted in a Christian-nationalist agenda. Mike Johnson rejects the separation of church and state, believing that the United States should be a “Christian nation.” Rep. Jamie Raskin told MSNBC, “You cannot get to the right of Mike Johnson in the MAGA caucus.” One of the main leaders of Trump’s failed attempt to steal the 2020 election, he believes in theocracy, not democracy. In the name of God and “biblical values” he is staunchly against a woman’s right to choose, and is vehemently anti-LGBTQ+, having introduced an anti-LGBTQ+ bill based on Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law.
More and more we are seeing that The Handmaid’s Tale wasn’t so much fiction as a cautionary tale. With such an extremist leading the House of Representatives, we are in for a tough time ahead. Upcoming elections will carry more weight than ever. If we don’t flip enough seats in the House of Representatives, as well as in statehouses across the country, we will indeed find ourselves on the road to Gilead, with human rights regressing backwards to scarier eras. Now is the time for all of us to stand up and fight. Get out the vote. Support candidates who will fight for your rights. From local school boards (where many of the most important battles are being fought right now) to the Oval Office, we cannot afford to get complacent or shy from a fight.
The need for vigilance hit home this past week as a Bay Area school district found itself unexpectedly embroiled in the culture wars. The East Bay community of Sunol made news when the school district voted to ban the flying of the Pride flag. Conservative members of the small local school board are also eager to ban books. This conflict is tearing the tiny, tightknit community apart. School boards used to be non-partisan organizations, but more and more they are being used as launching grounds for political careers for ideologues. When was the last time you researched the candidates for your local school board? Better add that to your to-do list next time elections come up.
There are many organizations helping with local and state elections around the country, and working to get out (and protect) the vote. From national powerhouses like the ACLU and League of Women Voters to nonpartisan get-out-the-vote groups like the nonprofit Vote ( https://www.vote.org/ ) and New Georgia Project, to partisan organizations like Sister District and Vote Forward, there are plenty of places to donate and volunteer. Do your part now! We cannot sit idly by while our country heads down the road to Gilead.
SF Transgender Film Festival
Get your tickets now for the San Francisco Transgender Film Festival, coming November 8–19. Over the course of 10 days the hybrid festival will feature seven short film programs, both live at the Roxie Theater and online. Films will be closed captioned for deaf and hard-of-hearing audiences.
Originally founded in 1997 as Tranny Fest, SFTFF was North America’s first transgender film festival, and is now the world’s longest running one. Like so many other film festivals organized by marginalized communities, SFTFF was created to counter the absence of authentic representations of transgender people in mainstream culture and media. Promoting the visibility of transgender and gender variant people challenges negative stereotypes and opens paths for understanding. The festival also provides opportunities for transgender and gender variant media artists, helps build community, and creates opportunities for audiences and artists to engage in dialogue across boundaries. Tickets and info: www.sftff.org
Transgender Awareness Week and More
The month of November provides a number of educational and commemorative opportunities to raise awareness and shine a light on the lives and experiences of transgender and gender non-conforming communities. The month is dedicated to education about these communities and important issues facing them. The most widely known events are Transgender Awareness Week (beginning November 13) and Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20), a worldwide event when trans and allied communities come together to memorialize victims of anti-trans hatred, prejudice, or violence. Stay tuned for local observances and opportunities for education and activism.
World AIDS Day – Make a Panel for the Quilt
World AIDS Day is Friday, December 1. In the next issue of the San Francisco Bay Times, I will be sharing details of all the local observances. But this is a reminder that if you have been planning to make a panel for the AIDS Memorial Quilt, now is a good time to get started.
On World AIDS Day, the National AIDS Memorial produces a free public program in the AIDS Memorial Grove, which will include a ceremony dedicating new panels for the Quilt. While you can submit a panel at any time during the year, this annual dedication is a moving event that is worth being part of.
For information on how to make a panel for the Quilt, go to: https://tinyurl.com/Quilt101
Caring for Each Other
These are tense times, and many people are struggling with fear, outrage, depression, and sorrow. Please take extra care with yourself, and those around you. We cannot get through these times alone.
Joanie Juster is a long-time community volunteer, activist, and ally.
In Case You Missed It
Published on November 2, 2023
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