By Sir Kippy Marks–
All communities practice love in some fashion. We gather together for festivals, shows, performances, fundraisers, and protests; the overall doing of good deeds helps bring about togetherness. A lot of this happens behind the scenes and out of the mainstream media, so with the help and continued support of the San Francisco Bay Times, I am extremely honored to shed light on individuals who do not get nearly enough recognition, yet they are true champions.
This column is written to honor, to give gratitude, to praise, and to give recognition to the countless unsung champions within our communities who practice the art of love on the daily. These individuals are true representatives of love in action and I am blessed to share these individuals with you through their stories and thoughts, and through sharing information about their loving deeds within their communities.
Our third PMLE (Practice Makes Love Easy) champion is Daddy Ray Tilton, who inspires, supports, uplifts, and builds bridges to love for so many of us every day. He practices love unbound. This individual is a beacon of light who shines brightly for our beloved community. I recently spoke with him for the Bay Times.
Sir Kippy Marks: What is your current position within the LGBTQ+ community?
Daddy Ray Tilton: I have been involved in the leather scene/community for almost 40 years and was Mr. San Francisco Leather 1990. So as the current Owner and Executive Producer (of this contest) it’s been quite a road these last 35 years being associated with this legacy contest and representation of coming together.
Sir Kippy Marks: Who or what motivated you to become the community activist/giver that you are today?
Daddy Ray Tilton: I was raised and shown what “quiet service” meant watching my father. As a young gay from a small farming area in Kansas, I inherently knew that who I was and who I was becoming would bring about special struggles. With that and being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS over 40 years ago, in and around those small towns it was natural for me to become an out and visible activist. I haven’t looked back. As my email signature says, “I am too busy doing what I do to think about what I’ve done.” Moments like these give me a sweet rare moment, however, to reflect.
Sir Kippy Marks: For Bay Times readers, I want to share your email signature:
POZitively yours,
Ray Tilton
“My Bark Is Worse Than My Bite”
“Actions Speak Louder Than Words”
“I’m too busy doing what I’m doing to think about what I’ve done.”
Sir Kippy Marks: How old were you when you made the decision to become an out and visible activist?
Daddy Ray Tilton: I was 19 years old.
Sir Kippy Marks: What advice would you give to others on how to practice love on the daily?
Daddy Ray Tilton: Whatever motivates you to do good things and make positive changes, remember to keep your heart safe and at the forefront. We have endured much at almost every turn and rightfully so we are angry and sometimes allow the outward hate to fill us and we act on it. Keep the bigger picture in your mind’s eye and always close to your heart.
Sir Kippy Marks: If you were granted 2 Universal wishes, what would you wish for?
Daddy Ray Tilton: Wow, only 2 wishes? What comes to mind is (1) that we could all have everything we need and (2) that we could always be enough.
Sir Kippy Marks: Please share any current practices that our readers could find useful, and let us know where we can find you.
Daddy Ray Tilton: My leather brunches are really where my heart lives. Over the last 10+ years of doing them, the love I have overwhelmingly felt from the thousands of attendees truly sustains and inspires me during the in-between times.
Look for Daddy Ray Tilton on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ray.tilton.9) and friend him to sign up to attend one of his historic leather brunches.
Sir Kippy Marks is a spirited solo entertainer whose shows are permeated with an infectious joy. His distinctive sound arises from his heart, through his 1822 violin consort, Izabella. Marks’ rare talent, broad smile, and radiant warmth will brighten any event to create lasting impact. He is also Grand Duke XL of The Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco. He is the first ever elected African-American Grand Duke.
Practice Makes Love Easy
Published on April 24, 2025
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