Empress of the Greatest, Gayest City on Earth

By Khmera Rouge

“Where else, but here in San Francisco?” This is a simple question that I have asked myself many times over since moving to the Bay Area. It came to mind as I was invited to talk a bit about my thoughts on Asian and LGBT culture. I again found myself asking where else, but here in San Francisco, would you want to be if you were gay and Asian?

I am a Cambodian-Chinese American Washingtonian transplant living in San Francisco, and I am oh so happy I decided to move here on a whim in 2010. I am also a drag performer. In my spare time, I help to fundraise for various LGBT and API (Asian Pacific Islander) non-profit organizations under the stage name Khmera Rouge.

I was recently elected Empress of the Imperial Council of San Francisco, an organization that is part of The International Court System, one of the oldest and largest continuously running LGBT fundraising organizations in the world. We are currently celebrating our 50th anniversary and just wrapped up a week of events and celebrations this past February. The festivities culminated in a sit down dinner and Gala at City Hall. During that Gala, I kept thinking to myself, “My how far we’ve come. Where else but here could Nelly Queens from across the country take over the seat of power of San Francisco to celebrate all of our gaiety and fabulousness?”

Being Empress means many things to many different people, as does being LGBT or Asian American. Being an Asian-American LGBT individual, to me, means standing out, bringing a different point of view to the table, and having to work twice as hard to find your identity.

Growing up as an Asian-American child, I always felt like I grew up in a “melting pot” of cultures, ideas and points of view. I was always taught to follow and uphold tradition and never to go against the social norm. It was not until I came to San Francisco that I realized just how vast and varied that pot was, and how much more there was to life.

I was blown away by how welcoming and open the API and LGBT community was here, and how many amazing organizations and services—such as API Wellness Center and GAPA (The Gay Asian Pacific Alliance)—were available for people just like me. Growing up in Washington, there was a sizable API community and LGBT support network, but not nearly to the extent that there is here in the Bay Area.

Growing up, I vividly remember trying to figure out who I was as a person who identified as being Asian and LGBT. In an attempt to “fit in,” I tried to suppress who I was. I remember wanting to blend in and to change myself to be more “American” and “straight.” But as I got older, I realized that the only way for anyone to be happy was to be true to yourself, and if that meant breaking away from tradition, then so be it.

I never felt like I was the stereotypical “Asian” child, if there is such a thing, but I remember always shying away from the spotlight and being perfectly fine blending into the background. But, honey, look at me now. Here I am, a drag queen…scratch that, an Empress, with crowns, gowns and all, ready to lead and inspire a new generation to fundraise and serve our community.

As your Empress, it is my goal to raise funds and support groups and organizations that fight hunger within our community and support education and services for LGBT youth. I hope you will be able to join us throughout this upcoming year and help us in doing so.

In closing, just a final thought: Asian-Pacific American Heritage Month, celebrated nationally in the month of May of every year, is still just a few short months away and Pride month is right after that. I’ve come to the realization that there is too much API and LGBT Pride here in San Francisco to limit it to just one short month. It should be celebrated here in San Francisco year round, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. And to an extent, I think we already do that. We are all San Francisco, and San Francisco is all of us.

Where else, but here in San Francisco, can a little boy from Washington grow up to become Empress of the greatest, gayest city on earth?

Khmera Rouge is the reigning Empress of the Imperial Council of San Francisco. Khmera currently serves on the board of the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and was recently elected as a delegate for the California Democratic Party, Assembly District 17. Before being elected Empress, Khmera was the Queen of Hearts for the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco as well as the 25th Miss GAPA (Gay Asian Pacific Alliance).