By Dr. Tim Seelig–
Have you seen the previews? It’s a new Netflix series. It has everything that makes for great television viewing. There is a fabulous actor playing the lead role. The episodes last about an hour and it appears to be set for season two.
OK, I made it up, but it should be a series. At this point, most of us are truly exhausted by the new chronic disease: Zoom Fatigue. Have there been times you have felt imprisoned by Zoombies? You may have tried to hide in the corner, but they found you. You’re hooked! You know things are bad when you are seen setting up meetings yourself. Remember when the only reference to Zoom was when playing with your hot wheels and alternated seamlessly between “Zoom, Zoom” and “Vroom Vroom”? Or maybe you were one of those 70s kids who watched the PBS show Zoom from 1972 to 1978 or the reboot from 1997 to 2005. Each with a catchy theme song. Sing along.
But what we’re talking about here is being unwillingly drafted to occupy a spot in The Brady Bunch opening or the much longer Hollywood Squares.
You want to escape. No, need to escape. At first Zoom world was precious and kind of fun. “OMG, I don’t have to go to work.” That romance lost its bloom fairly quickly. Going to work started to look better and better.
Honest answer here. Have you only “dressed” from the waist up for Zoom meetings? You know, the mullet outfit: work on top, slumber party on bottom. I’m going with a 100% approval rating on that new style.
Since we in San Francisco are only a brisk swim away from Alcatraz, a series about escape from Zoom prison seems a perfect fit for our series. “It has legs,” as they say in the business! Of course, being imprisoned in our Zoom room is not really comparable with the “Birdman’s” experience in his cell. But there are some interesting similarities.
Let’s take a quick look at your cell. How big is your Zoom room?
The average cell at Alcatraz was 5 feet by 9 feet. That is spacious compared to most Zoom rooms. Many of us simply have a Zoom corner. Or a Zoom chair or sofa. Thank goodness for virtual backdrops to mask the mess in the background.
Zoom is here to stay. Robert was incarcerated for 54 years—most in solitary confinement. Only 14 of those were at Alcatraz gazing over the walls at the most beautiful city in the world. Of course, there was always the temptation of escape. 36 tried to escape from Alcatraz. 23 were captured, 6 were shot, 2 drowned. The other five were presumed drowned. Escape didn’t work out too well for them. Perhaps we should consider other options. By the way, Burt Lancaster is no longer available to play Robert in the new series. I’m sitting by the phone waiting for the call!
I have most definitely considered raising birds. None have appeared in my cell block as they did with Robert. But I know a lot of people who have added pandemic pets to their family. It absolutely helps pass the time to have another living being in the house. Yes, some have planted indoor herb gardens. Beware if you start talking to the basil.
Escape requires focus and some risks. Tunneling is not an option. Neither is scaling the beige walls of my apartment complex. So, we have to be creative in our escape plans.
What I find interesting is that we often “escaped” in our childhood. In my time, we were Robin Hood or Lady Marian. I played both depending on the day and the costume available. Being from Texas, being a cowboy was high on my imaginary world. I may have fantasized about living on the Ponderosa with the men of Bonanza. What was your childhood escape from the realities of rules and regulation? Could you invite those back into your life as an escape?
In this shelter in place world of ours, probably 80% of the “outside the house” activities have ceased. That may be an underestimate. When our Zoom workday finishes, we simply turn it off and move to another room—or other side of the room.
Our extracurricular activities have moved to Zoom! God help us. People, Zoom fatigue is a real thing! I’m preaching to my choir since we are now meeting on Zoom! We started out strong. Oh, my goodness, do you remember how fun all the Zoom things were when the pandemic began to shut things down last March? Zoom exercise, cooking, book club, movie night, game night, knitting. Now that was a quiet Zoom! As the months wore on, those things lost their appeal.
One of the most-used methods of escape has been the small screen: Gambits, Schitts, Mandalorians (I‘m going to sneak in a fave: Anne With an E.) Many have turned to movies and discovered documentaries. Then there is the incredible explosion of blogs and vlogs and podcasts—everyone’s doing them.
Many have turned to books and, of course, actually turning to paper rather than reading from another screen. We’ve lost ourselves in glorious music that whisks us away to wonderful places. It’s not the same as live music, but will work until that returns.
Before we go, let’s spend just a moment giving props to this new thing in our lives, Zoom. There have been some amazing discoveries: dinners with family and friends, 12 step programs, therapy, and work happy hours via Zoom.
It has provided family events such as birthdays and anniversaries that have brought family and friends from all over the world. Those gatherings would have never been possible in person.
Think of the commute time that has been drastically reduced. Some people actually spent an hour or two commuting to work—each way. That has been reduced to 20 feet and 20 seconds. That is the gift of time. Meetings will never be the same. I believe we will continue using Zoom for most of these. And think of the money you have saved on travel expense!
Rather than Zoom imprisoning us, it has actually brought the whole world to our doorstep. At the end of the day, I am very glad Zoom is now a part of my life. I love seeing people up close and personal. I’ve got to say it is fun seeing where people live and where they’ve chosen to Zoom!
As you know, I conduct a room full of 300 singing men. They sit in rows. They spend 3 hours looking at the backs of heads. Now, on Zoom, they see faces for the first time. And, that singer who sits on the other side of the room and you can’t remember his name? He is in the lower left corner of his square! One huge drawback with Zoom? You can’t sing on Zoom.
In the days ahead, I believe we will no longer feel the desire to escape Zoom, but rather will use it to its best effect. It will be our choice to return to our cell when it serves us best. I can’t wait until that day. It does appear our sentence is near commutation.
Until then, I’m going to be nice to Zoom. As freedom approaches, I pledge to actually wear pants one day a week (I will miss my elastic waist bands.) I pledge to think of my prison as a play room. I’ll think of creative ways to make Zoom work for me. I’ll continue to regret not having bought stock in Zoom when we thought it was a song!
In the very best “if you can’t beat them, join them,” let’s sing along: “We love you Zoom, oh yes, we do.”
Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.
Published on January 28, 2021
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