By Charles Renfroe –
Gilbert, a gay man in his late 60s, came to Openhouse after entering sobriety and recovering from prolonged substance abuse. “Having just finished my addictions, I had difficulty interacting with people and making social connections,” Gilbert said during a recent interview. “The only lifestyle I knew was going to bars, just drinking. I get emotional remembering I was very lonely at the time.”
Gilbert then started coming to Openhouse and connected with Andrew, a young volunteer in our Friendly Visitor Program where volunteers of all ages are paired with LGBTQ+ older adults for social connection and companionship. “I got connected to Openhouse through my employer, the San Francisco Symphony, a community partner with Openhouse,” said Andrew. He was soon recruited for the Friendly Visitor Program and was paired with Gilbert.
“Openhouse’s Intergenerational Program Manager introduced us and we had immediate chemistry,” Andrew said. “And we’re good friends now,” Gilbert agreed. “I love meeting Andrew in the Castro, and we walk to Dolores Park because that’s a community I have not been around clean and sober.” Since joining the Friendly Visitor Program, Gilbert has boosted his confidence and has even met a boyfriend. According to Gilbert, “that wouldn’t have been possible had I not met Andrew. He helped build my self-esteem and motivation, which I hadn’t felt for many, many years. Openhouse is my second family where I can be accepted for who I am.”
Gilbert and his new boyfriend danced together at the Openhouse Senior Prom in May.
Openhouse, the San Francisco non-profit organization exclusively serving the housing and social service needs of LGBTQ+ older adults, has been fighting ageism since its founding in 1998. Its longest-running intergenerational program not only bridges the age gap between older community members and younger volunteers, but also breaks the deadly divide of social isolation and loneliness.
“We launched our Friendly Visitor initiative more than 10 years ago and it remains a cherished program in our community, and an evidence-based intervention against social isolation and loneliness,” said Sylvia Vargas, Openhouse Director of Community Engagement. “Currently, we have 80 Friendly Visitor pairs, and, in 2025, we logged 1,020 friendly visits and calls. Our dedicated volunteers make this program possible.”
“Launched over a decade ago, our Friendly Visitor initiative has become a lifeline for LGBTQ+ older adults, many of whom face profound isolation due to a lifetime of discrimination and loss,” Vargas continued. “By fostering authentic, intergenerational relationships, the program not only combats loneliness—it helps bridge generations, preserves LGBTQ+ history, and nurtures a sense of belonging that is often missing for our elders. More than a program, it’s a powerful, evidence-based model of community care, connection, and resilience.”
The program is among a suite of community engagement services studied for four years (2018–2021) by the California Reducing Disparities Project (CRDP) at the state Department of Public Health. Both quantitative and qualitative data collected show that, as a whole, Openhouse’s community engagement programming had substantial and significant positive effects on LGBTQ+ older adults’ lives, most notably through increases in community connectedness and reductions in isolation and loneliness. There were also significant increases in Openhouse clients’ feelings of hope, by showing them that they can live fulfilling and authentic lives as they age.
“The underlying power of these interventions stemmed from the fact that they were developed and implemented by, for, and with LGBTQ+ older adults,” according to the CRDP final report. “While other organizations can provide similar support and services for LGBTQ+ older adults, the unique impacts that Openhouse has on this population’s social and emotional wellbeing is the very illustration of what it means to improve mental health equity, and serves as a model for how to best take care of our own.”
The purpose of the Friendly Visitor Program (FVP) is to promote healthy aging as measured by participants’ feelings of isolation and connection to community. Following a comprehensive in-home geriatric health assessment, Openhouse matches FVP volunteers with seniors to provide ongoing, weekly, and biweekly companionship and emotional support. Prior to being matched, FVP volunteers receive training on the challenges of aging in the LGBTQ+ community and the risk factors associated with social isolation. FVP volunteers learn to approach individuals with an empathetic, supportive, and non-judgmental understanding—engaging in active listening and bearing witness to the challenges of their senior match in a way that normalizes their experience.
To learn more about Openhouse, or to sign up as a Friendly Visitor and other volunteer opportunities, visit www.openhousesf.org/volunteer
Charles Renfroe currently serves at Openhouse as Development Manager for Institutional Giving, which includes foundations, corporations, and community partners. He joined the organization in 2017 to help raise funds for the Morton B. Blatt and Peter G. Holmstrom LGBTQ+ Senior Community Center at the Openhouse Laguna Street campus. Prior to joining Openhouse, Renfroe was retired after a long career in corporate communications and public affairs.
Aging in Community
Published on November 6, 2025
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