A Still-Relevant Question

Our cover features a quote widely attributed to acclaimed African American writer Ernest Gaines: “Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns, than holding hands?” It has sparked discussions over the years, including earlier this month, when it went viral via social media.

According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 48,325 gun violence incidents in 2014 so far in the U.S. alone. 11,803 resulted in deaths and 2,936 were officer-involved shootings. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence reports that the U.S. firearm homicide rate is 20 times higher than the combined rates of 22 countries that are our peers in wealth and population. As the Brady Campaign holds, “America has a problem with gun violence.”

It also goes without saying that gun-wielding individuals continue to be portrayed as empowered in movies, television shows, video games, music and more. Violence, in general, is also frequently glorified, with or without guns, and has resulted in several deaths and serious injuries this year. For example, two men at a San Francisco 49ers game in October repeatedly beat two men with their fists, such that one is now partially paralyzed as a result of his injuries.

At the same time, many Americans are intolerant of male-to-male expressions of affection, particularly if LGBT males enact those behaviors. For example, when Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend after becoming the first openly gay player drafted to the NFL, former Super Bowl champion Derrick Ward tweeted: “I’m sorry but Michael Sam is no bueno for doing that on national tv. Man U got little kids lookin at the draft. I can’t believe ESPN even allowed that to happen.” Miami Dolphins safety Don Jones also expressed his disapproval by tweeting “horrible” and “OMG” after the kiss was shown on live television.

Why then is it that there is such discomfort in seeing two men show affection for each other, while there appears to be greater cultural acceptance of violence and weapons associated with violent acts? We presented Gaines’ question to San Francisco Bay Times readers via social media. Below are some of the responses that came in, along with a few comments that were made on other sites. We encourage you to consider the question as yet another year of widespread violence in America comes to a close.

“Because we promote racial bigotry through ancient ideology hiding behind phony morality while sucking the blood from humanity.”

“Society dehumanizes women, and thus dehumanizes the Feminine, and thus, men who love men are ostracized and feared because they have, through their Truth of Authenticity, refused to play to the status-quo hetero-sexist and dualistic societal role of what ‘men’ are supposed to be. I am out and proud as a gay man each and every day of my life, and I stand with Peace and Love in my Authenticity. My soul-purpose and my sacred knowing come directly from my Gay perspective, and the world is healed through my eyes and my joy at living life to the very fullest, and in this way, I lead so many people into the freedom of their own self-love, just by being me.”

“Why does it have to be one or the other? I love who I am and that includes loving guns and using them safely and responsibly.”

“Systematic conditioning to accept violence over an expression of love.”

“I suppose North American men think that they are expected to be as ‘macho’ as they can. I guess it’s a cultural thing.”

“Because as a society we teach boys from very young that killing, raping and pillaging is a good thing, while love is bad. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone then.”

“Gender role expectations is probably the answer, but it hardly satisfies.”

“Because that’s change, and some fear change…”

The exhibit Keith Haring: The Political Line, now at the de Young until February 16, 2015, features images meant to promote peace and non-violence. In 1982, Haring attended the largest ever anti-nuclear rally held in the U.S. More than one million people marched from the United Nations headquarters in New York to Central Park. This and similar events inspired LGBTQ activist Haring that year to create works of art, such as the image shown here.

Keith Haring (1958-1990)
Untitled, 1982
Vinyl paint on vinyl tarpaulin, 72 x 72 in. (182.9 x 182.9 cm)
Collection of Sloan and Roger Barnett
© 2014, Keith Haring Foundation