By David Landis, The Gay Gourmet–
I’m taking a slight detour for my column this week to, of all places, St. Louis. Why? I just celebrated my high school reunion there and had some musings (along with thoughts about restaurants) I thought I’d share.
Being a gay adolescent, I, perhaps like many of us in the LGBTQ+ community, felt awkward in high school. Or maybe it just comes with the territory for everyone? Puberty, raging hormones, questions about one’s sexuality or gender, and growing up quickly: all of that exacerbates a situation that already is fraught with the conflicts of football players vs. dweebs, cheerleaders vs. drama queens, or the inclusion and exclusion of numerous other cliques that permeate the high school experience.
So, when the idea of my 50th (gasp!) high school reunion started becoming a reality, I wasn’t quite sure I was going to go. Did I really want to see all these people, many of whom stayed in St. Louis, and with whom I only had sporadic contact (mostly through Facebook)? I started talking with my pal and fellow graduate Rob Mitchell. He’s also gay and living in San Francisco; and we both sang together in concert choir back at Parkway West. As an aside, he asked me if people knew he was gay in high school and I said, “Not really.” But when I asked him if he thought people knew about me, he said, “David, everyone knew you were gay.” I wish they’d told me that then; maybe I could have had more fun!
Rob now sings (and has sung for a long time) with the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. Coincidentally, he also is our marvelous piano tuner. He told me a year ago he was going to the reunion, and he asked if I wanted to join him—and would we bring our husbands. This made me consider so many questions. Should we attend? What would it be like, in Missouri, to appear with our husbands? And would our gay foursome join in the DJ dance party after the dinner?
Full disclosure: I was a nerd in high school. I ran cross country, rather than play football. I was a straight A student (this isn’t bragging, as the intellects in high school were often sidelined). I was (shockingly) in the drama club and sang in the concert choir. Side note: our school had bus trips to the Saint Louis Symphony (where I later worked and sang with the Symphony Chorus), and I signed up not because of the music, but because we got to eat at Shakey’s Pizza Parlor afterwards. I guess I was always a foodie! Those outings made me embrace my love of classical music. Back to school: I took physics and calculus, and I was in the advanced placement program. Worst of all, I was not only in the Latin Club, but also I was Vice President of that infamous coterie (and wore the geeky black tie to prove it). Bottom line, I didn’t think I was a popular kid back then.
So, after months of second guessing and misgivings, I finally decided to attend the reunion with my husband. (It also helped when United Airlines reinstated their nonstop service to St. Louis!)
So, how was it? Fantastic. From the minute I walked into the first night cocktail reception, I saw people I had known and liked. Parkway West was, I think, an outlier for a public school in St. Louis. We were taught critical thinking. We had the money for programs like choir and after school sports. Our teachers, some of whom were gay, taught us with gusto and passion while giving us the tools to help us learn how to learn. As a result, most of the folks there were fairly liberal. Even if they weren’t, they were easy to talk to and welcoming. It made for a warm and inviting evening. Plus, even several of our teachers (who miraculously are still alive) were there: choral director Kay Wunder, P.E. teacher and pianist extraordinaire Ruth “Jonesy” Jones, and my cross-country coach, Dave Ganz, among others.
Here’s my hypothesis about the evolution of reunions. I think for the 10th reunion, graduates are still competing with each other, proving who did best, and still residing in those recent cliques. By the 20th, many of the folks are talking about their kids or showing off their latest far-flung vacation photos. By the 50th reunion, nobody cares! They just remember that we all have an important shared history that is worth celebrating.
At the more formal dinner the next night, a sobering memory wall reminded us how precious life is, and why every day is important. Approximately 10% of our large class of 630 people had passed away already. But the night had a jubilant overtone, with people connecting once again with folks they hadn’t seen in years. The program chair even asked your humble author to speak a bit, since I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed.” (I think that may just have been a fluke, because of my good grades.)
What did I come away with? I realized that I really was sort of popular back in high school. The reunion brought closure, as well as a sense of well-being. Amidst all my insecurities, people responded to my “can-do” spirit, my sense of humor, and my ability to relate to people (maybe this was because I felt like an outsider, since I was gay?). Perhaps that’s also why my longstanding profession prior to this column was in public relations? Who knows.
So, how about the restaurants and things to do in St. Louis? Here’s just a smattering, since we were only there for a long weekend, but St. Louis is worth a visit.
The Saint Louis Art Museum: Located in the verdant Forest Park smack dab in the middle of the city, this museum is the beneficiary of many industrialists who collected at the turn of the 19th century. That’s when St. Louis was one of the nation’s biggest and most economically significant urban enclaves in the country. You’ll see works of Picasso, Max Beckmann (who lived the latter part of his life in St. Louis), Monet, Seurat, Frank Stella, and more. The neo-classical building with its expansive and airy lobby, along with the modernist expansion, is a stunner. Don’t miss the Panorama restaurant, overlooking the park. It’s a lovely, contemporary spot for a leisurely lunch where I enjoyed a glass (or two!) of clean Sicilian pinot grigio and a divine French omelet. And Sean loved his turkey sandwich with cranberry. The topper? A yummy profiterole with sweet cherries, hazelnuts, and chocolate sauce.
Herbie’s: This convivial brasserie, now located in Clayton, has an important LGBTQ+ history. For years, it was an upscale but friendly art deco gay bar, restaurant, and understated disco, run by Adelaide Balaban. Its original location was in the gay-friendly Central West End neighborhood of St. Louis. When I lived in St. Louis, the food was great, the cocktails even better, and I met several cute guys (and even a former Parkway West teacher!) there. The proverbial Herbie was Herb Balaban, who ran Balaban’s luxe and buzzy French restaurant down the street. Balaban’s was where everyone in St. Louis went to see and be seen, just like our now long-gone but still remembered Stars in San Francisco. The reincarnated Herbie’s retains the charm, as well as some of the old French posters in the former restaurants, in addition to the marble and brass tables and Eames-like chairs. And the food? Delicious! I was hesitant to order the salad niçoise (since, after all, this is the Midwest and not near an ocean), but the tuna was fresh, and cooked a perfect medium rare. Hubby Sean proclaimed his French dip sandwich juicy and tender, along with extra crispy thin French fries that you often don’t find in restaurants these days.
Gateway Arch National Park: This 1967 architectural wonder by Eero Saarinen is a must-see and must-do. At 630 feet, it’s the tallest monument in the U.S. Not only does it define St. Louis’ riverfront skyline, but also it is a symbol of this metropolis. At its important Mississippi River location, the city served as the gateway to the west beginning in 1806, following the Louisiana Purchase. Don’t just stare up at this graceful icon; take a ride up in its retro tram cars. When you get to the top, stare down, and you’re looking not at a building beneath you, but miraculously at thin air.
Toasted Ravioli: This is a St. Louis delicacy that must be tried while you’re in this burg. Yes, it’s a fried ravioli served with marinara sauce—and yes, it sounds unhealthy, but it’s delicious. The Hill is the Italian neighborhood of the city and any of the places there will have great toasted ravioli, but locals swear by Anthonino’s Taverna. According to St. Louis Magazine, “Even Guy Fieri, TV’s spike-haired diner doyen, rav-raved about this Greek-Italian taverna’s crunchy quadrates, made in house and ideally eaten at the antique, polished wooden bar. The combination of pecorino and ricotta with ground beef make for a particularly cheesy appetizer.”
So, to anyone considering whether to attend your reunion, I say,“Go!” You’ll learn a lot about yourself, reconnect with people who might surprise you, and most of all, you’ll have a good time.
Saint Louis Art Museum:
https://www.slam.org/
Panorama Restaurant:
https://www.slam.org/dining/
Herbie’s:
https://herbies.com/
Gateway Arch National Park:
https://www.gatewayarch.com/
Anthonino’s Taverna:
https://anthoninos.com/
David Landis, aka “The Gay Gourmet,” is a foodie, a freelance writer, and a retired PR maven. Follow him on Instagram @GayGourmetSF or email him at: davidlandissf@gmail.com Or visit him online at: www.gaygourmetsf.com
The Gay Gourmet
Published on October 17, 2024
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