Kate Kendell, Esq., was at the heart of San Francisco’s Winter of Love in nearly all respects. Now the Chief of Staff for The California Endowment, Kendell in 2004 was the Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. She was, and remains, connected not only to San Francisco city leadership but also to LGBTQ+ community leaders both locally and nationwide. Here, she shares her story of what happened during that fateful February two decades ago and reflects on the legacy of the Winter of Love.
San Francisco Bay Times: On February 6, 2004, you received a call from then Mayor Gavin Newsom’s Chief of Staff informing you that, on the following Monday morning, the mayor was going to begin issuing marriage licenses to lesbian and gay couples in San Francisco. Did that come as a complete surprise to you? What was your reaction, particularly given what was happening legally in Massachusetts concerning same-sex marriage at the time?
Kate Kendell: I was completely surprised and taken aback when I got that call from Steve Kawa, who was then Mayor Newsom‘s Chief of Staff. My first reaction was one of worry because this was only a few months after the marriage win in Massachusetts by our colleagues at Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders. And it was only a few weeks after then President George W. Bush endorsed a constitutional amendment to ban marriage between same-sex couples in his State of the Union Address. Well, it turns out that Mayor Newsom was in the audience in D.C. during that State of the Union and was appalled and offended. He came back to San Francisco fired up and wanted to do something. My initial worry and reluctance quickly gave away to a sort of “bring it on!” perspective and away we went.
San Francisco Bay Times: Please take us back to the time when you and then Mayor Newsom decided to ask Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin to be the first couple to marry during the Winter of Love. How was that decision made, and what happened when you approached Phyllis and Del? We’ve read that, in her characteristic easy-going way, Phyllis said something like, “Well, sure!” But we’re curious about your own recollections, including about the ceremony that followed.
Kate Kendell: The decision to have Del and Phyllis be the first couple was the brainchild of me and the Mayor’s Policy Director Joyce Newstat. To us, it just seemed obvious that they should be the first couple to be married. I called them, and Phyllis answered the phone. When I told her what we wanted them to agree to she said, in a rather crotchety voice, “Well, let me ask Del.” I heard her put down the phone and I could hear voices murmuring. A couple of minutes later, she came back, picked up the phone, and said, “We’ll do it.” It obviously wasn’t a very romantic proposal, but it was perfect for that moment. I picked them up early the next morning, February 12, and we drove to City Hall. We went down into the underground garage and in through a secret entrance. It was sometime before the ceremony could actually be performed by then City Assessor-Recorder Mabel Tang. But when we finally gathered and Mabel spoke, and Del and Phyllis took their vows, it was, and remains, one of the most powerful moments of my career.
San Francisco Bay Times: How might the Winter of Love continue to influence future decisions concerning the LGBTQ+ community, now that 20 years have passed and Governor Newsom appears to be moving toward a run for President in 2028? What did that time reveal to you about his values and leadership skills?
Kate Kendell: The decision by then Mayor Newsom to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples was one of the most courageous, daring and fierce, I’d ever seen from an elected official. He received all kinds of grief from it—calls from Dianne Feinstein and Barney Frank, who told him he was going to cost Democrats the election. It really was a profile in courage moment, and something we should demand from all of our elected officials, to stand up for justice, and for a country that provides dignity to all.
San Francisco Bay Times: What issues are of greatest interest to you now concerning the LGBTQ+ community and in light of intersectionality with other communities? After the Winter of Love, there was so much momentum toward nationwide marriage equality. What issues that are still in play now do you hope gain similar momentum in the days and months to come?
Kate Kendell: There is no doubt in my mind that we won marriage nationwide on a much faster timeline than we would have without the actions of then Mayor Newsom. But as we have sadly seen, even though we won marriage nationwide in 2015, our community is still under severe threat and attack. The anti-trans laws around the country, the attacks on young trans kids, the violence directed at particularly trans women of color is intolerable, and must be fought back against with all we have. The ludicrous actions of so many far-right Republicans who hold power is a threat to the humanity of so many. We really are in a fight for the future of our nation, whether it will be steeped in racism, cruelty, misogyny, and corruption, or whether we will elevate values of belonging, inclusion, and full justice for all. This is a particularly perilous moment; the queer movement and other past civil rights movements have likewise faced past threats. Particularly in this election year, we need to do all we can to restore to power individuals who value decency and humanity.
20 Years Later The Winter of Love
Published on February 8, 2024
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