By David Landis–
Kathy Griffin is going into the closet, literally. The San Francisco Bay Times and your trusted reporter (me) were lucky enough to score an interview with the Emmy and Grammy winning comedian. She’s coming to the Masonic Auditorium as part of her My Life on the PTSD List tour, a play on words of her acclaimed TV show My Life on the D List, and her challenging past few years.
Back to the closet. Why was she there? She had to be evacuated from her Malibu home with her four dogs due to the encroaching Franklin fire (as of this writing, she and her house are fine). So, where did she go? To her friend and singer Sia’s house, of course. That is just one more celebrity name to drop, which undoubtedly will slip into her current act. Sia was taking a nap and Kathy had to do some interviews, so naturally Sia suggested her own closet—for privacy, I’m assuming. But one never knows.
Back to the tour. Kathy’s already appeared at Carnegie Hall in October, and she’s the female comedian who has appeared the greatest number of times at that venerated venue. She’s also spending New Year’s Eve in her hometown of Chicago at the landmark Chicago Theatre. Next stop? San Francisco, on January 18, 2025.
In a word, Kathy is a hoot. This might have been the most fun interview a gay boy has ever had. Not only that, but she’s also been an ally and supporter of the LGBTQ+ community for more years than anyone can count. She’s had her ups and downs, but honey, she’s back with a roar. She’s no longer a D-Lister. She’s an A-Lister in this humble reporter’s book. What follows is our very entertaining conversation.
David Landis: First of all, I have to tell you: You always make me laugh.
Kathy Griffin: You didn’t cancel me?
David Landis: I am never canceling you, darling, never, never.
Kathy Griffin: No, thank you very, very much. I am just thrilled. I’m coming to San Francisco, the Masonic.
David Landis: I know, that’s a big venue.
Kathy Griffin: I know. Honey, they said I would never be back. They said it was over for me. Even San Francisco won’t have you, they said. You don’t know those gays, I said.
David Landis: They clearly don’t know the gays.
Kathy Griffin: I raised those gays from when they were babies. They’ll be there.
David Landis: So, tell me a little bit about your PTSD tour. You were at Carnegie Hall. You’re going to the Chicago Theatre. I mean, this is huge.
Kathy Griffin: Honey. I have my first gig on New Year’s Eve since I got canned from CNN 7 f-ing years ago. And, by the way, keep in mind: I got fired by Jeff Zucker, who then got me out of the business. So, the fact that I finally have a gig on New Year’s Eve at the Chicago Theatre, where I taped one of my specials, is so amazing. But to be back at the Masonic. I mean, I shouldn’t have a favorite venue. But I just love that theater, and it’s so good for stand up.
David Landis: And what do you think of San Francisco audiences?
Kathy Griffin: Smart. Unshockable. Gay. I mean niche: not just the gay community, I mean every letter, every number.
Kathy Griffin: David. I have to ask you a question, and it’s very inappropriate, so don’t get mad at me: Do they still do dykes on bikes, and call it that?
David Landis: Yes, and they lead the Pride Parade.
Kathy Griffin: I can’t even say it in other cities, because they’re like, “How dare you?” And it’s always a straight person who gets mad. But I’m like, “Shut the f … up, Dykes on Bikes is iconic. It is unique to that city.” Those dykes worked hard to get those bikes. I’m so glad that that tradition is still happening.
David Landis: What was the genesis for the PTSD tour?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, my own f … ing PTSD, which I have been diagnosed with. Blackballed by my own industry, everybody acting like I’m toxic (after the Trump mask incident). No fly list, Interpol list. President coming after me, Feds coming after me, Attorney General trying to have me arrested for conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States like for real. I’m not putting myself in their class, but even the great Lenny Bruce and the great George Carlin: they (only) had local police harass them. No comedian has ever had the Feds come after them. I filed a FOIA, Freedom of Information Act, and they were really serious about trying to figure out a way to have me arrested, and then taken to the Federal building in Los Angeles, so they could get the footage from the helicopter like it was madness.
David Landis: (referring to the Trump mask incident) It was comedy.
Kathy Griffin: Just harmless comedy. I took a picture of his Halloween mask with ketchup on it, like girl, please. But I had Congresswoman Maxine Waters give me the greatest compliment, and she’s like, “Girl, I love you. You scared the s … out of him with that picture.” And I said, “Well, somebody needs to scare the s … out of him. So, you know, desperate times call for desperate measures.” I went out there, and I paid the price. I talk about this in the show. I became addicted to prescription pills. I tried to take my life. I was on a 3-day 5150 cycle (an involuntary psychiatric hold). I got sober a year later. I was diagnosed with lung cancer, even though I’ve never smoked. They took out half my left lung. By the way (smiling), I don’t like how you’re flaunting your 2 lungs in my face right now, David.
Kathy Griffin: I’m going through a divorce. I’m desperate to be the new golden bachelorette. I mean, I will put out. I won’t put out on the first date. I’ll put out on the first phone call. I have a banging bikini body. So, I talk about PTSD, and all of it, because if you’re not laughing, you’re crying. I get that people come to see me do that at the Masonic. It’s not going to be a bunch of Trumpers. It’s going to be people that are pretty much likeminded, as far as, “Oh, my gosh! What are we in for (with the new administration) this time?” And I’m very scared for the [LGBTQ] community. I feel like gay marriage could go bye-bye. The whole getting trans people removed from the military is only the beginning. I was at the Congressional hearings about dissolving “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” And this guy is such a psychotic dinosaur. I really am fearful about what it’s going to mean to be gay, and LGBT. In America.
David Landis: I think that the LGBTQ community is very worried, and should be very worried. And you know that we need to keep fighting, and we need to keep laughing.
Kathy Griffin: Yes. I want that audience to know I don’t have an opener. I write all my own s … just like I always have. I’m going to be shocking. I’m going to be inappropriate, but if you get a ticket, I’m going to give you a lot of laughter, and if you’ve had a rough day, I want to make your day better. I want you to feel like you can just blow off some steam, and laugh at some raucous, horrendous heinous s… that I’ll be making fun of. Myself first, and then I’ll make fun of you. [With the new Trump administration], I’m not leaving the country. I love it here. I’m staying and fighting. We are to be counted, and I will say this. I do think that this administration, but Trump, in particular, I think he’s really underestimating the fighting power of the LGBT community. I don’t think he knows what he’s up against. These MAGAs up against the gays? Good luck, MAGAs!
David Landis: You really made your name with the My Life on the D List TV series, which we all loved. Was it a career highlight?
Kathy Griffin: Absolutely, and I am so proud that it’s back on Peacock. I don’t get another penny, but I don’t care, because I want people to fall in love again with my mom and dad, and the dogs. That show, I mean, it was really real. I’m proud of it, because it was real. Pretty much after the
D list, a lot of the shows, (like) The Kardashians and The Hills, became scripted. I mean not word for word, but pretty much scripted. I promise that (our show) was real. If you think I could get my drunk mother to read a script, then you didn’t know Maggie.
David Landis: Let me ask you about your dogs, because I’m a dog lover. How many dogs do you have now?
Kathy Griffin: I’m up to 4. If it were up to me, I’d have 40. I am Crazy Dog Lady. I have to tell you where I am right now, you’re gonna s … , okay? The Malibu fires are going on. Not funny. I get it. I live in Malibu. So, I was evacuated at 2 in the morning. I have with me an assistant, a roommate, and 4 dogs, because I’m single now. I couldn’t even get my car out of the gate because the freaking gate’s electric. I put all the dogs and the human beings in the car, and, as you can see, I am—no pun—in a closet. You’re not going to believe whose house I’m at, and who took me in as an evacuee. You ready? Sia. She’s my bestie, and I have a story about her in the new show, too, that I even have her permission to tell. I just called her at 2 am. And I thought, what are the chances? She was even awake, and she’s like, “Come on over. You can evacuate here.” I brought my little outfit to do interviews and threw some hair and makeup in a bag. You know hair is not always growing out of my head, but it does appear so. So, here I am, and I’m just laughing because she’s (now) taking a nap. And I said, “Honey, I gotta go do a bunch of interviews,” and she’s like, “Take your time.”
David Landis: You know you’re going back in the closet.
Kathy Griffin: Sometimes it’s called for everyone. You get evacuated back into a closet, and if that happens, you want to be in Sia’s closet.
David Landis: All right. So, the whole Trump mask incident. Who stood by you during those years?
Kathy Griffin: I mean, first of all, the gay community. The actual community was with me from minute one. And I mean, even though I was on a media blackout, because it was just all death threats and videos of my house, and how to find me and kill me, and what ways to kill me … . [One of the first social media videos] was a bunch of gays. Dressed as I was, dressed in that photo, and having a parade on Fire Island. I mean shout out to the LGBTs again, once, now, and forever. I am forever your girl. I mean it was I just was like, “Oh, my God! They get it!”
David Landis: Do you have a favorite LGBTQ charity?
Kathy Griffin: I will always have a special place in my heart for God’s Love We Deliver because my dear departed Joan Rivers was on the board of directors, and I’ll tell you a little fun story. When Joan was on The Celebrity Apprentice with you know who, which, by the way, she won, which was amazing, and that part was great. If he did one good thing in his life, he did that.
She had me come on an episode one time to bid on and win a handbag, and the money would go to God’s Love We Deliver. First of all, Joan said, “You’ve got to come on The Celebrity Apprentice, and you’re one of my shoppers.” I said, “Fine! What am I buying?” And she goes, “You’re buying a bag I got from Ralph.” Ralph Lauren sent her a bag, and I still have it to this day, and she goes, “Bid and bid high.” And so, I did. And sure enough, production comes over to me, and they say you have to make the check out to the Donald J. Trump Foundation. I refused. I would only do it directly to God’s Love We Deliver. And sure enough, after the Trump photo scandal, I got a call from The Washington Post, David Farenthold, who won a Pulitzer Prize. He tracked down that donation, and he said, “You’re right. You’re the only one who didn’t write the donation to the Donald J. Trump Foundation.” Donald wasn’t happy about it. Ivanka was there that day, although I just call her a bag of Xanax. Now, I’m not saying she abused Xanax. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying, “She reminds me of someone who abuses Xanax.”
David Landis: I want to do a little celebrity Round-Robin with you. I’m going to name a celebrity, and you give a 2- or 3-word description. Are you game?
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
David Landis: Paris Hilton.
Kathy Griffin: My new friend. And I have a story about her in my new show.
David Landis: Nancy Pelosi.
Kathy Griffin: Worship. Strong bitch.
David Landis: Elon Musk.
Kathy Griffin: A Nazi piece of s … . He’s a Nazi. Let’s just call it like it is.
David Landis: Kim Kardashian.
Kathy Griffin: Smart businesswoman. Oh, not as smart as the mother. The mother is the smartest, and Kim is the second.
David Landis: Taylor Swift.
Kathy Griffin: I’m a Swifty. You know what? I love a girl that does a f … ing 3-hour show. I like that work ethic.
David Landis: Ryan Seacrest.
Kathy Griffin: An empty shell.
David Landis: I’ve heard you say sloppy bottom.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, sloppy pig bottom. Yeah, that’s still a prize.
David Landis: Ellen.
Kathy Griffin: A walking, talking block of ice.
David Landis: RFK Jr.
Kathy Griffin: Filled with brain worms.
David Landis: Cher.
Kathy Griffin: Diva for life. You know, icon, for life, like people throw around the word icon. She’s a f-ing icon.
David Landis: Tom Cruise.
Kathy Griffin: Never met him. But he’s on my bucket list to meet and give some s … to.
David Landis: RuPaul.
Kathy Griffin: Aspirational idol, I mean, I just idolize her. I watched her TikTok the other day, where she just said, “Look, these next 4 years: we’re just going to have to circle the wagons around each other, and dance and laugh, and have fun. And, of course, we’re going to fight. But we can’t forget who we are, and smile at each other, and find your people.” You know, she could have made a TikTok about anything. She could have been bitter, or she could have just been promoting herself. And that’s who she is. As long as I’ve known him, I should say him. But as long as I’ve known Ru, he’s like that to the core.
David Landis: In my other life, I have a column with this newspaper called “The Gay Gourmet,” so do you have a favorite San Francisco restaurant?
Kathy Griffin: House of Nanking. God, I love that place so much that he [Peter Fang]’s not exactly friendly to me yet, but (smiling) he doesn’t throw the plate at me anymore. I’ve tried jokes on him, and he rolls his eyes. I love that. I dream of his food.
David Landis: His daughter, Kathy Fang, had a TV show, and she has her own restaurant, Fang.
Kathy Griffin: It was so fun to see him open up on that show. I watched every episode. I think she [Kathy Fang] is so cool, and I wish her just the most success. I think that the whole family is so great. But I just really crave the food.
David Landis: I love it, too. Final question, what do you hope for in 2025?
Kathy Griffin: More will be revealed … They say that there’s something in the air about 2025, where, like, a lot of things are going to be revealed. And I’m kind of here for it.
David Landis: At least you’ll have a lot of material, right?
Kathy Griffin: Always. It’s all grist for the mill.
David Landis: Well, Kathy, it is such a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you on January 18th. Thank you for making the time for our newspaper. The LGBTQ community loves you, and we will be there. We can’t wait to welcome you back to San Francisco.
Kathy Griffin: I can’t wait to hit that stage, and thank you. And I know the LGBTQ community’s always been there [for me]. And please say that in this piece, because I want people to know it saved my life.
David Landis writes about the arts, entertainment, and lifestyle. In his other life, he is the “San Francisco Bay Times” Gay Gourmet, writing about restaurants, chefs, and food. You can follow him on Instagram @gaygourmetsf. You can also contact him via email at: savidlandissf@gmail.com.
Arts & Entertainment
Published on December 19, 2024
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