By Jewelle Gomez–
When I was in high school in Boston I had a best friend, G, who became my lover when we were sophomores and that continued for four more years. I slept with her the night before her first marriage (1 of 3) and I knew he was a lying scoundrel. But you can’t say that to your lover as she marries somebody else! During the aftermath of the several times he broke her heart, I was happy to be a comforting shoulder (only the shoulder, I swear).
I watched her raise her children with her mother as back-up (when #1 evaporated) and admired the way love seemed to run in her maternal line. She’s a Black church-going Christian; over the decades we’ve stayed connected. I’m proud she’d say we were sisters. She came to San Francisco when Diane Sabin and I wed, and I guessed that was the largest crowd of queer people she’d ever experienced.
When I told her there was a photo of her and her mother in the documentary about me ( https://qwocmap.org/jewelle/ ) and that I was having their faces masked, she insisted that wasn’t necessary. She had no understanding of the problem—a distant relative or church friend could mysteriously see the film and attack her or her children. Her husband (#3) could see the film and go berserk. She lives outside the concerns of homophobia.
Maybe because she’s from my past and we see each other so infrequently, I’ve never tried to break through to her so she knows the pain or the danger. My bad. Still I’m saying happy birthday to her this August as I have for fifty years, this time in print. I appreciate how much of who she’s been has made me who I am as a lover and as a lesbian/feminist activist.
Another birthday this August is James Baldwin’s. In 2011, I wrote my play about Baldwin, Waiting for Giovanni, after spending a couple of years rereading his entire oeuvre as well as critical essays about his work. Finding a way into the story of such a fabled thinker, activist, and writer intimidated me, but two things opened the door.
In an interview, he talked about how nervous he was to go south to demonstrate in the 1950s during the Civil Rights Movement. Then, in a serendipitous meeting, I got to talk with one of Baldwin’s editors from the 1950s, who mentioned how upset Baldwin was because of disapproval of his novel, Giovanni’s Room. The fact that two gay, white characters were at the center of the story seemed to annoy those on the right and the left. It was then that I appreciated Baldwin even more—his human instincts, fear, and anxiety made him heroic to me. He wrote and persisted despite his fears. This gave me the courage to tackle a play that might do some justice to his brave and poetic life and to write what I wanted to, no matter what the opposition might be—whether from left or right.
The third August birthday to celebrate is for the Black Lesbian Feminist Press ( https://www.blfpress.com/ ). Founded by Dr. Stephanie Andrea Allen—a writer of speculative fiction, a humanities scholar, and university professor—the press is in its ninth year with ten publications, including my own new collection of poetry. With editors Lauren Cherelle and Andie Hayes, the press has enjoyed enormous popularity by filling a space lesbian/feminists of color have hungered for since Kitchen Table Women of Color Press closed.
It’s impossible to imagine the ingenuity, fortitude, and love it takes to start an independent press at any time, but especially in this period when the fallout from the #45 continues to infect conservatives around the country and they try to smash any progress made for women, queers, and people of color of the previous century. I celebrate the press’ birthday as the progeny of a feminist movement that survives and has given voice to so many whose voices were stolen, including my own.
Jewelle Gomez is a lesbian/feminist activist, novelist, poet, and playwright. She’s written for “The Advocate,” “Ms. Magazine,” “Black Scholar,” “The San Francisco Chronicle,” “The New York Times,” and “The Village Voice.” Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @VampyreVamp
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Published on August 10, 2023
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