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    LGBTQ+ Solo Aging

    By Allison Rodman–

    LGBTQ+ older adults face distinct challenges as they age, especially those who are aging alone. Statistically, LGBTQ+ elders are twice as likely to be single and live alone and four times less likely to have children. As I enter my seventh decade, with years of experience in senior living care, I see how these demographics affect our community. Living and working in the Bay Area, I’m fortunate to witness positive strides in serving LGBTQ+ seniors, thanks to a proactive approach in many senior care organizations and businesses.

    Nevertheless, the experiences of LGBTQ+ seniors in other parts of the country remind us of the need for sustained advocacy and systemic change. And now with the election of the new regime. I am feeling insecure that many of the positive policies for our community will be reversed or compromised. Protection of our vulnerable LGBTQ+ elders, especially those alone, is even more important to me.

    I do like to uplift the good news of where we are in the Bay Area. I have experienced that most skilled nursing facilities, home care agencies, social services, and senior living communities have training programs to ensure that staff members provide respectful and inclusive care. For me, personally, there has been partnership with management in all my workplaces to create safe space for their LGBTQ+ employees and clientele. I have found a helpful attitude and follow-through to institutionalize training and language. Locally, I find there is a wish to be educated on how to comfort their LGBTQ clients and make sure that their employees are at ease in the very intimate work of caregiving.

    This commitment to learning and mainstreaming LGBTQ+ inclusive practices is both empowering and reassuring. However, outside most of the Bay Area, there is still bad news. Today, LGBTQ+ seniors across the country often face discriminatory practices, particularly in healthcare settings. This is especially true for LGBTQ+ Solo Agers, whose unique vulnerabilities—living without family or traditional support systems—add stress to an already complex aging process.

    Self-advocacy can be difficult at any stage, but it becomes even more pressing in later years. LGBTQ+ older adults aging solo often wonder, “What will happen if I become seriously ill?” or, “Who will be there for me?” With limited federal protection, these anxieties are not unfounded. Currently, no federal law prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in many areas, including healthcare. Furthermore, over half of U.S. states lack laws explicitly banning discrimination in housing and public accommodation. This absence of legal protection creates significant barriers for LGBTQ+ seniors who, unlike other aging adults, may lack traditional support networks such as children or spouses.

    The growth of the Baby Boomer generation, including many LGBTQ+ Solo Agers, does offer some hope that these issues will gain broader visibility. As the population of LGBTQ+ older adults expands, it will likely compel mainstream aging services to prioritize inclusive policies. This shift, while still developing, signals a vital move toward addressing the needs of solo aging LGBTQ+ adults who are often overlooked by traditional aging systems.

    But still in recent years we have seen a mixed trajectory in terms of policy. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation at various levels has rolled back some progress made during previous administrations, creating more barriers for older LGBTQ+ adults seeking government services. There have been incremental gains, however. For instance, as of October 2022, all state aging plans must address LGBTQ+ and HIV-related issues. And businesses and organizations are increasingly adding credentialed training and response mechanisms to create more inclusive, trauma-informed services for LGBTQ+ seniors. This momentum toward inclusivity shows promise for enhancing holistic and affirming care options.

    For LGBTQ+ Solo Agers, comprehensive planning is crucial. Setting clear goals and documenting specific wishes provide both a roadmap for the future and a sense of control. I often pause in my first meeting with a client and do a deep dig to see if they have their Power of Attorney and Healthcare Directive completed. If not, I take the time to talk through why putting these directives in place is important. End-of-life and estate planning, while often not completed if left to others, can be a huge burden to those left behind. A multidisciplinary approach, which might include legal, financial, and healthcare professionals, ensures that future caregivers respect an individual’s expressed needs.

    The process of long-term planning should include options for healthcare, financial stability, and potential living arrangements. Establishing a team of trusted advisors, from attorneys to aging life care managers, helps Solo Agers make informed decisions and builds a safety net to further ensure LGBTQ+ seniors may age with dignity and that their values will be honored.
    The journey of LGBTQ+ Solo Aging is complex. We have a set of obstacles that often include a wound of familial rejection. In the Bay Area, however, we have been creative and busy developing social supports that are both joyful and do the job. So, even though there are areas of our country where there is continued great harm, I have witnessed the landscape gradually shifting toward a more inclusive future. I remain positive that most Americans, especially our youngers, want a just healthcare system and all people to have equal care.

    In my immediate corner of the world, I beat the drum to do proactive planning and to support anyone who is alone, to give them the push to complete their Power of Attorney and Health Care Directive. I also advocate for inclusive policies, and support community organizations like Openhouse, which didn’t even exist not so long ago and that step in when there is no family. I am proud of our work together to protect our LGBTQ+ elders and, in particular, the Solo Agers, so that they may live securely and authentically.

    Allison Rodman is the Director of Sales & Marketing at the Rhoda Goldman Plaza (https://rgplaza.jfcs.org/).

    Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: http://sfbaytimes.com/challenges-and-opportunties/

    Alegre Home Care is proud to support Dr. Marcy Adelman’s Aging in Community column in the San Francisco Bay Times.

    Aging in Community
    Published on November 21, 2024