By Sir Kippy Marks–
In every community, love manifests through gatherings, performances, fundraisers, protests, and countless unseen acts of kindness. These daily expressions of love often go unnoticed, yet they are essential in fostering connection and resilience. Thanks to the continued support of the San Francisco Bay Times, I am honored to shine a light on the unsung heroes who embody love in action. Our fourth PMLE (Practice Makes Love Easy) Champion is a leader whose unwavering commitment to building meaningful connections has uplifted countless lives. It is with great joy that we celebrate Michaiel Patrick Bovenes, a true beacon of love, empowerment, and community.
Through his dedication to fostering genuine relationships among middle-aged gay men, he has created spaces where vulnerability is met with support, where shared stories strengthen bonds, and where love is practiced in its most authentic form. As the founder of Gay Community Circles, Michaiel has built a nurturing environment where men can find not just camaraderie but a chosen family—a place beyond fleeting interactions, rooted in true understanding. His philosophy of love unbound reflects a commitment to dismantling isolation and reinforcing the beauty of meaningful human connection. By encouraging openness, confidence, and the willingness to show up fully, Michaiel has become a beacon of light for countless individuals seeking deeper friendships and a richer sense of belonging.
Sir Kippy Marks: How long have you been involved with the practice of making love easy and sharing presence and empowerment with our community?
Michaiel Patrick Bovenes: I originally launched Gay Community Circles (GCC) in 2011–12, at the SF LGBT Center, but unfortunately had to pause it due to work demands. Then, after the pandemic in 2023, I felt a strong desire to bring it back—recognizing how gay men craved real, in-person intimacy and connection. I relaunched the group at The Academy SF and have been facilitating it ever since. I love creating a space where gay men,
especially those 45 and up, can laugh, tell their stories, share openly, and build meaningful friendships in a positive supportive community. So many middle-aged men are tired of empty hookups and long for a chosen family of true community. Community work is rooted in love: the kind that genuinely listens, honors our differences, and nurtures growth through connection.
Sir Kippy Marks: What motivated you to become the community leader that you are today?
Michaiel Patrick Bovenes: When I moved to San Francisco in 2006, I quickly made friends, but by 2012, most had moved away. It’s a very transient city and l found myself burned out on the noisy bar scene that isn’t conducive to conversations. I had joined and attended various men’s groups, but often left feeling more drained than inspired. I didn’t want to start a “pity group’” where people only talked about their problems. I also wanted to share what l’d learned about creating authentic connections—how to find new friends, be more approachable, and show up with confidence and openness. My motivation came from witnessing so many kind-hearted gay men locally who felt isolated or unseen, especially as they grew older. After decades of coaching personal transformation on a one-to-one basis, I saw the power of blending social skills and confidence-building strategies in an emotionally supportive men’s group setting; thus, being able to help more men at the same time and address their unique challenges of socializing as we grow older. Gay Community Circles became an opportunity where men could not only meet other like-minded men, but also practice their social skills in real time, with real men, and immediately reap thebenefits.
Sir Kippy Marks: How old were you when you made the decision that building community was a part of your life purpose?
Michaiel Patrick Bovenes: I was in my mid-50s when the idea really crystallized. After decades of teaching personal development and coaching clients on how to awaken their inner power, l noticed a unique need in our community: gay and bisexual men with incredible stories, wisdom, and life experience, all bottled up inside of them. They lacked the opportunities to share in an intimate setting. It felt natural for me to bridge that gap. It wasn’t so much a “calling” as it was a deep desire to connect more meaningfully with other local middle-aged gay men and build a stronger sense of community.
Sir Kippy Marks: What advice would you give to others on how to practice love on a daily basis?
Michaiel Patrick Bovenes: Start by knowing that you matter, and that your story has the ability to help others. Practice listening without trying to fix, be more curious than critical, and offer kindness without an agenda. Love isn’t about grand gestures; it lives in the small, everyday moments of genuine community connection. When you help someone feel seen or valued, that’s love in action. Your connection with your local community can become a daily act of love that enriches everyone involved and the world at large.
Sir Kippy Marks: lf you were granted 2 Universal wishes, what would you wish for?
Michaiel Patrick Bovenes: My first wish would be for humanity to truly accept, celebrate, and respect our differences, instead of fearing, judging, or trying to control what we don’t understand. As gay men and women, I believe we came here to be different so we could make a difference. My second wish would be for every person to recognize their inherent worth and spiritual beauty. We are each unique expressions of life, yet so many struggle to see and own their own goodness. God-Goddess doesn’t make junk—every soul has value. We just need to remember that truth within ourselves.
Sir Kippy Marks: Please share any current practices that our readers will find useful, and let us know where we can find and see you.
Michaiel Patrick Bovenes: When you’re out and about—remember Mary Tyler Moore’s theme song, “Love Is All
Around”?—our challenge as gay men is to recognize it and be willing to let it in. Be open to others, acknowledge people with eye contact and a nod or smile. Then, look for the beauty and innocence we all share. When your heart is open, you’ll naturally start to attract and connect with other gay men who are similar to you and who want to build new friendships.
I have recently published a powerful fast action guide ebook titled Seven Secrets to Meet New Like-Minded Gay Men in Your Neighborhood ( www.FastActionGuide.com ), which you can read in 30 minutes and that reveals what you can do immediately to improve your social life. For less than the price of a cocktail, it covers many powerful methods gay men can start using to build real connections in their community. If anyone is interested in attending my live in-person men’s group, you can learn more details and register online at www.gaycommunitycircles.com
Sir Kippy Marks is a spirited solo entertainer whose shows are permeated with an infectious joy. His distinctive sound arises from his heart, through his 1822 violin consort, Izabella. Marks’ rare talent, broad smile, and radiant warmth will brighten any event to create lasting impact. He is also Grand Duke XL of The Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco. He is the first ever elected African-American Grand Duke.
Practice Makes Love Easy
Published on May 22, 2025
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