By Brandon Miller—
The credit card companies just sent you an annual spending recap. You looked at the total and felt … something. Guilt? Anxiety? A vague sense that you should be doing better with money even though you can’t articulate what “better” would actually look like?
Here’s what we see constantly: successful people with solid finances who are absolutely convinced they’re on the verge of disaster.
You’re making great money and objectively doing well. And yet, you wake up at 3 am wondering if you’re really “okay,” unable to shake the feeling that you’re somehow screwing this up.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. You might just have something called “money dysmorphia.”
The term borrows from body dysmorphia, a psychological condition where someone’s perception of their appearance doesn’t match reality. With money dysmorphia, it’s the same concept. The numbers say one thing, but your brain insists on telling you a completely different story.
That can show up in a number of (very annoying and frustrating) ways:
– You’re working yourself into the ground to hit some arbitrary number that you’ve decided you “need.”
– You feel guilty about every purchase, even when the math says you’re totally fine.
– You can’t shake the feeling that disaster is always one moment away.
Most people we see struggling with money dysmorphia are doing everything “right” by saving consistently, investing well, and spending reasonably. The problem is their anxiety doesn’t match their reality, and that can be exhausting.
When clients walk through our door, there’s usually one question underneath everything else: “Do I have enough?”
And my favorite response: “Enough what?”
The people we work with are often working 60-hour weeks, postponing trips, and saying no to things they’d genuinely love to do, all because they can’t shake the feeling that they need to keep grinding, saving, and working. The reality is that they don’t need more money; they need moretime.
We see this frequently. One client recently took a new role with a big pay cut, but far better long-term equity, healthier leadership, and a work environment that wouldn’t burn them out. On paper, it was a smart move. The quality-of-life upgrade was huge, and the numbers fully supported it.
Still, the anxiety hit hard: What if something goes wrong? Are we making a mistake? Meanwhile, their finances are completely fine. They could both stop working in five years if they wanted to.
That gap between emotional fear and financial truth is where people can lose years of their lives. Our job is to pull up the projections, walk through what’s actually true, and replace vague anxiety with clarity. Once that happens, the question changes from, “Can we survive this?” to, “Wait … we could get our time back sooner than we thought?”
That’s the shift that matters because money is a tool, but time is the point.
Money anxiety thrives when everything feels blurry. When every dollar has ten possible jobs, your brain never gets to rest. That’s why we slow things down, look at the numbers together, and get specific: Here’s where you actually are. Here’s what’s possible. Here’s what changes if you choose option A instead of option B.
And then you get to decide your next move consciously, clearly, and based on reality instead of anxiety.
One way we help create that clarity is with a cash-flow setup we call the “Allowance Method.” It’s not perfect for everyone, but for people who struggle with money dysmorphia, overthinking, or constant second-guessing, it can be transformative.
Here’s how we set it up: We route your paycheck so it doesn’t go straight into checking. Instead, it first lands in a separate account we manage on your behalf. This is your “tomorrow money,” where savings, investing, and future goals live. Then, once a month, we move a set amount into your checking account (your “today money”). We monitor the flow, adjust the amounts as your life changes, and keep the system running in the background without you ever touching it. And as we work together, we adjust the amounts and the process to fit how you actually live and think about money.
This separation does something subtle but powerful. It removes the need to constantly zoom out and ask, “Is this okay? Am I being irresponsible? Should I save this instead?” Your job is simple: live your life within the today money. The long-term plan is already being handled.
The system also quietly captures progress. Raises, bonuses, payroll changes—extra money flows to tomorrow money by default. If you want to spend more, you can. But it’s a conscious choice, not lifestyle creep sneaking in through the side door. Saving happens automatically, without relying on willpower or perfect behavior.
What this really solves isn’t just cash flow; it’s mental load. You’re no longer making dozens of micro-decisions that feed anxiety. You’re not feeling guilty about spending money that was already accounted for. And over time, money stops being the thing you optimize every day, and time takes its place.
The Allowance Method is just one approach we use to remove mental load. Depending on what’s driving your anxiety and how you think about money, we have other systems and processes we can explore together.
The new year loves to stir things up with a fresh wave of “New Year, New Budget” advice. But if you’re already doing the “right” things and still feel anxious, the answer probably isn’t another spreadsheet or a stricter set of rules. It’s fixing the mismatch between what’s actually true and the story your brain keeps replaying at 2 am.
Money anxiety happens when you don’t have clarity you trust, and the cost is usually time. Once the numbers are clear, you can start deciding how much time you want to spend working, waiting, or enjoying what you’ve already built.
This material presented by Brio Financial Group (“Brio”) is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for personalized investment advice or as a recommendation or solicitation of any particular security, strategy, or investment product. Facts presented have been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, however, Brio cannot guarantee the accuracy or completeness of such information, and certain information presented here may have been condensed or summarized from its original source. Brio does not provide legal or tax advice, and nothing contained in these materials should be taken as legal or tax advice. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place.
Brandon Miller, CFP®, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals. For more information: https://www.briofg.com/
Money Matters
Published on January 29, 2026
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