By Andrew Freeman–
Hello all—It’s Andrew Freeman and I am back! Once again, I am delighted to be filling in for my close friend David Landis, The Gay Gourmet, who is recovering from his shoulder surgery. He is doing well and will be back very soon, for the next issue. In my first column, I celebrated the art of the dinner party. And now, for part two, I will simply say, “Never underestimate the power of a good dinner party!” If you will indulge me, let me give you a few examples of what dinner parties have meant to me over the years.
When I moved to San Francisco almost 30 years ago, I was a bit lost. I was a cocky New Yorker who thought I would spend a year here getting the experience and then hightail it back to the Big Apple. I was so tentative that I left all my belongings in storage and lived in a temporary furnished rental.
Then I was invited to a dinner party at my boss Niki’s house and the world seemed to open up for me. Niki lived in a stunning North Beach apartment and the group she brought together was truly diverse. At the heart of each of us was our love for restaurants, food, and deep conversation; I had found my people.
That night, I was seated next to a communications coach that Niki had hired to work with us. His name is Ward and, to this day, I am lucky to call him a friend. I was bitching a bit about my life in San Francisco—the city’s too slow, it’s three hours behind, the streets are confusing, blah, blah, blah. Ward patiently listened and then turned to me between bites of a delicious lamb roast (Niki is Greek) and said, “You know, Andrew, until you say yes to San Francisco, San Francisco won’t say yes to you. Go out and get yourself an apartment, settle down here, and get involved in something.” So, I did!
I found an apartment (a story for another time) and volunteered at Project Open Hand (where I met two of my besties who are now like my sisters) and I, along with an amazing group of women I worked with, started the San Francisco Chapter of Dress for Success. Slowly, my love affair with San Francisco bloomed and it’s been going strong since.
During the pandemic, the power of the dinner party helped many of us get through it. As you know, my job is to promote the best chefs and restaurants this city has to offer. When the pandemic hit and we were all condemned to a life with no socializing, no restaurant visits, and only ordering in (or, for many, baking bread), I was miserable. I eat out every night. Restaurants are my lifeline and now I was watching my clients, many who are also close friends, fighting to survive.
I called Virginia Miller—a wonderful journalist and gal about town; read on about our dinner—and we decided to introduce the world’s (yep, we’re cocky) first virtual dinner party series. Each month, we would pick a different restaurant, the chef would create a menu, and then we would arrange to have our guests order that menu and have it delivered on time for us all to hop on Zoom to gather around our virtual table. Our guests (about fifty per party) played games, shared stories, and then the chef would join us to talk about the menu. Despite the circumstances, these evenings were magical. They became a viral sensation (get it), and each party had its own energy and spirit.
When we were finally allowed out (remember those days of dining outside with the social distancing?), we decided to continue the tradition and started to meet in person. I will never forget our first meeting at the country’s first outdoor drag brunch at The Vault Garden (the queens wore face shields), and the emotions we all felt. There were so many air hugs and tears of joy; we were finally together at last.
For my last example of the power of the dinner party, I want to spend a few moments exploring the incredibly special relationship that gay men have with their best girlfriends. These dinner parties are my favorites, especially when my girlfriends leave their husbands at home and we can let our hair down (I have so much), take our bras off, and just relax. I have so many wonderful girlfriends, whom I affectionately call my “work wives,” and our dinners are the best. Together, we have experienced restaurants in many countries, nights on the couch eating edibles and munching on some delicious take-out, or exploring the city and discovering neighborhood gems. These women are my “fairy princesses” and I love them very much.
Now, on to this issue’s dinner parties, the guests, and my three questions. I had two wonderful dinners this time around. The first dinner was at Nopa’s newest hot spot: Altamirano Restaurant & Bar. It’s the newest concept by renowned Bay Area Chef Carlos Altamirano and his wife Shu. The eighth culinary venture for this dynamic duo, Altamirano showcases contemporary Cal-Peruvian cuisine, blending the authenticity of Peruvian flavors with the innovation and bounty of California’s agricultural landscape. The restaurant’s natural design elements pay homage to Altamirano’s Peruvian roots and his journey as a chef. My guests were my wonderful friends Marcia, Joel, and Robert. The cocktails, wine, and dishes flowed, and by the end of the night, we were making plans to have homemade lasagna at Marcia’s sexy new apartment in the near future. I can’t wait!
The next dinner was with my co-creator of the virtual dinner party series, Virginia. We went a bit retro and headed to The Vault Steakhouse down in the Fidi. We opted for the glamorous lounge, and it felt as if we were stepping back in time in our cozy booth, along with caviar service, big martinis, and jazzy live piano music. Chef Jason Halverson and his team have created a modern menu of steakhouse classics. This is by far one of my favorite spots in the city right now. And trust me—even if you are having a dull day, when you walk into The Vault Steakhouse, you will automatically feel sexy and swank.
Read on for my guests’ thoughts about the Bay Area Culinary Scene, and make sure to take notes on where you should be eating next!
My Guests
Andrew Freeman (your host)
CEO, af&co. and Co-Founder,
Carbonate
www.afandco.com,
www.carbonategroup.com
@afandco
@bossmanafco
Joel Riddell
Culinary Enthusiast/Founder of Dining Around
@diningaround
Marcia Gagliardi
Founder/Publisher of
www.tablehopper.com
(19 years old this year, and please subscribe!)
@tablehopper
Robert Moon
Senior Manager, Enablement (Techie)
@robtmoon
Virginia Miller
Journalist/Founder of The Perfect Spot/Beverage Consultant/Chair of The World’s 50 Best
www.theperfectspot.com
https://virginiamiller.substack.com
(Subscribe!)
@virginiamiller.sf
The Questions
Andrew Freeman: Why do you love the Bay Area dining scene?
Joel Riddell: The Bay Area is the capital of American Gastronomy, from dashing down the coast to Aubergine at L’Auberge Carmel, or up to the north wine country for a California feast at the girl & the fig in Sonoma, and the never-ending options while strolling through Yountville in Napa Valley. Cheese, wine, produce, beer, spirits, and all things delicious—we have it made! With the anchor communities of San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, and San Jose, we can find the freshest, most spectacular bites at spots like Iyasare Berkeley, Liholiho Yacht Club, State Bird Provisions, Cinderella Bakery, Sushi Bistro, Foghorn, and Nopalito. Each neighborhood has its favorites, and these are some of mine. We are so extremely fortunate to have the chefs, the produce, the restaurateurs, and the communities to support such a vibrant and adventurous dining scene.
Marcia Gagliardi: It’s all about the people! There are so many stories to be told behind every restaurant opening and every dish. In one week, I can take a culinary trip to Vietnam, Peru, Mexico, Italy, India, Korea, Ethiopia, and Lebanon, and learn about so many ingredients and dishes and foodways. And the freshness of our local produce is spectacular. You don’t know how good we have it here until you leave.
Robert Moon: I love the diversity of our cuisine. The creative approaches to restaurant design, environment, and atmosphere are on display at their best here in the Bay Area. Given our proximity to some of the world’s premier viticulture, the area is conducive to experiencing rising star chefs and sommeliers along with excellent food and wine pairing experiences.
Virginia Miller: As ever, our deep diversity, penchant for innovation, honed technique, and high-quality ingredients in a compact space, make us one of the best dining cities in the world. I am blessed to travel the world and nation half of every month for work and am ever amazed at our quality and range compared to most places. I grew up in the suburbs of New York City and Los Angeles but got schooled when I moved here as an adult.
Andrew Freeman: What are your favorite spots right now?
Joel Riddell: I must admit, this is a question that I have some difficulty answering, as so many San Francisco Bay Area restaurants appeal to me. From the casual delicious bites at Mersea on Treasure Island, to the easygoing weeknight dishes at Souvla, or to boisterous fun you have at Hazie’s in Hayes Valley—there is something for everyone. These are true standout places that have deep history, not only with the community but also with me personally. My very first formal San Francisco event was the Meals on Wheels Gala at One Market Restaurant when Bradley Ogden was at the helm. I had no idea what to expect and ended up sandwiched between then Mayor Willie Brown and Wilkes Bashford. I had a wonderful time, and it set the stage for so many other fine occasions. One Market’s current chef, Mark Dommen, whom I originally met while he was head chef of Julia’s Kitchen in Napa (now The Grove at the Culinary Institute at Copia), has expertly paired food with wines from across the world (Porto, Santorini, Champagne), and from right here in California. I believe his expertise, and that of sommelier Tonya Pitts, elevates One Market to the level of my favorite. Grab a seat at the bar or the kitchen counter and watch Mark make his magic!
Marcia Gagliardi: Don’t make me choose! But if I had to—I am loving Lunette at the Ferry Building, the grandma slices from Outta Sight II, and Prelude is deeelicious. (I just put a list together of nineteen of my current favorites for tablehopper subscribers!)
Even after living here in San Francisco for thirty years, and writing about our restaurants for over twenty years, there is always something new to explore and discover. Visit a neighborhood you don’t know well and find a new restaurant to try. Go on food adventures!
Robert Moon: It’s hard to say. There are a number of them, and it depends on what I am hungry for at the time of dining. Currently, there are a few that I really appreciate: Altamirano, Souvla, The Progress, Boulevard, Sushi Bistro, Szechuan Home, and Hazie’s.
Virginia Miller: As I dine at over six hundred places a year, I always have a few new favorites on the docket. Since Merchant Roots moved into its new, huge space, it’s one of the most exciting (and fun) places to dine anywhere with its ever-changing themes and dinners like no other. The new Jaji in Oakland is modern Afghani food like you’ve never experienced it before. KoThai in the Inner Sunset is a Korean-Thai mashup from a self-taught chef and native of the neighborhood with vibrant dishes that belie its humble setting. The Tijuana-style and fried cheese tortilla tacos at new Tacos El Tucan are absolutely delicious.
Andrew Freeman: Your favorite restaurant or bar memory? Or favorite dish?
Joel Riddell: My favorite culinary memory is from a restaurant that is no longer, but lives in our hearts. We pine for Hubert and Chantal Keller’s Fleur de Lys. Each Christmas (and other holidays as well), we booked ourselves in for an Alsatian feast! The evenings included course after course of delicious food, sneaking off to the bar for sips of holiday drinks with Chantal, and laughing well into the night with both of them. Fleur de Lys is the place where we celebrated, from holidays to birthdays, and even our mortgage signing date! We sat at the bar, nearly rocking from the large looming future we had ahead. One Christmas Eve, I lost my husband and found him in the cellar laughing and joking with Chantal. On another occasion, I ended up being the host! We have many fine spots in San Francisco, but Fleur de Lys will always hold a place in my heart.
Marcia Gagliardi: I have so many fond memories of nights and meals and cocktails at Bix, from dining at the bar, to taking my family out for a swanky dinner with live music, or hosting a two-martini lunch holiday party—Bix is always lit!
Robert Moon: Fleur de Lys is always on my mind. I really miss that restaurant. The environment was incredibly relaxing, and elegant. Alsatian cuisine was nothing short of superb. Chef Huber Keller, and his wife Chantal, always brought that extra joy and care to our experience, always making you feel welcome and special. We always went there for Christmas Eve, and special events/celebrations. We are still looking for the next Christmas Eve venue to continue that tradition. (Disclaimer: Joel and Robert are married!)
Virginia Miller: Again, out of 15k restaurants and counting (and even more bars since cocktails and spirits are another core area of expertise and judging for me the past two decades), my life is made up of endless dining and bar memories. But to narrow it down to dishes, my yin-yang is Italy and Japan. I’m half Sicilian and partly grew up in New Jersey so I have a huge love for both regional Italian food that I’ve studied all over Italy as well as Americanized “red sauce” Italian. Get me an eggplant parmigiana or hearty spaghetti and meatballs in a vibrant tomato sauce and I am a happy girl. On my yang side, I live for sushi and all things Japanese, whether it’s black sesame desserts or onigiri as a snack.
Overheard at the Dinner Table
When you put a wonderful group of guests together, there are many casual lessons learned throughout the night. Here are some of the best lines/tips I picked up during these dinners.
“You could pass as straight. You, on the other hand, you’re a Dan Levy kind of gay.”
“You are my sunshine.”
“I cherish your willingness to brainstorm. I am grateful to you.”
“The energy you get from old friends is infectious.”
“Okay, this can’t leave the table.”
“Just add a drag queen and any party will be a hit.”
Bonus Bites
The Culinary Clash is a culinary competition and scholarship program for the students of City College of San Francisco’s Culinary Arts Program hosted by The Intercontinental San Francisco and Luce Restaurant since 2019. I was honored to join the table of judges for the first of the three clashes. Chefs Norma Whitt and Dennis Efthymiou hosted this year’s clash and the energy and excitement in the room along with the delicious menu was infectious. These evenings are open to the public (at exceptionally fair prices) so keep an eye out for next year’s competition.
And now, a “poor you” moment: I am lucky enough to be heading up to Sonoma for the Annual Healdsburg Food & Wine Weekend on May 16–18. I will be supporting our client chef Dustin Valette and his talented team at the signature events they are hosting at their fabulous spots The Matheson, Valette, and Roof 106. Bonus: I get to stay in Dustin’s cottage in the heart of Healdsburg. Yep, it’s tough work but someone must do it! Tickets are on sale now, so I hope to see you up there.
The Summary
It’s been a pleasure to spend this time with you all. Given the craziness of our world right now, the power of being with people (bitching, crying, laughing) will be more important than ever. With the volatile nature of our economy, I am nervous that restaurants will continue to struggle. So, get out there and eat!! Take a look at the following list for ideas. I am convinced that world peace will begin over conversations that start at dinner tables. Yes, I am a dreamer, but I believe in the power of food. The power of love. The power of friendship. And, of course, the power of the dinner party. Dig in!
The Restaurants
Altamirano
Website: https://altamiranosf.com/
Instagram: @altamiranosf
Boulevard
Website: https://www.boulevardrestaurant.com/
Instagram: @blvdsf
Cinderella Bakery
Website: https://cinderellabakery.com/
Instagram: @cinderellabakerycafe
Fleur de Lys (gone but never forgotten)
Foghorn Coffee
Instagram: @foghorncoffeesf
The girl & the fig
Website: https://www.thegirlandthefig.com/
Instagram: @girlandthefigsonoma
The Grove at Copia
Website: https://bit.ly/4iTFixc
Instagram: @ciaatcopia
Hazie’s
Website: https://www.haziessf.com/
Instagram: @haziesonhayes
Iyasare
Website: https://iyasare-berkeley.com/
Instagram: @iyasereberkeley
Jaji
Website: https://www.jajioak.com/
Instagram: @jajioak
Julia’s Kitchen (gone but never forgotten)
Kothai Republic
Website: https://kothairepublic.com/
Instagram: @kothaisf
Liholiho Yacht Club
Website: https://lycsf.com/
Instagram: @liholihoyachtclub
Luce (gone but never forgotten)
Located at Intercontinental San Francisco
Website: https://bit.ly/4jJpXkd
Instagram: @intercontinental
Merchant Roots
Website: https://www.merchantroots.com/
Instagram: @merchantroots
Mersea
Website: https://www.mersea.restaurant/
Instagram: @merseasf
Nopalito
Website: https://www.nopalitosf.com/
Instagram: @nopalitosf
One Market
Website: https://onemarket.com/
Instagram: @onemarketsf
Outta Sight II
Website: https://www.thatsouttasight.com/#/
Instagram: @thatsouttasight
Prelude
Website: https://www.preludesf.com/
Instagram: @prelude_sf
Sichuan Home
Website: https://bit.ly/4iTct45
Souvla
Website: https://www.souvla.com/
Instagram: @souvla
Sushi Bistro
Website: https://sushibistro.com/
Instagram: @sushibistrosf
Tacos El Tucan
Website: http://www.tacoseltucan.com/
Instagram: @tacoseltucan
The Matheson
Website: https://www.thematheson.com/
Instagram: @themathesonhbg
The Progress
Website: https://theprogress-sf.com/
Instagram: @theprogress__sf
The Vault Steakhouse
Website: https://www.vaultsteakhouse.com/
Instagram: @thevaultsteakhouse
Valette
Website: https://www.valettehealdsburg.com/
Instagram: @valettehbg
Other Mentions
Healdsburg Food & Wine
Website: https://www.healdsburgwineandfood.com/
Instagram: @healdsburgwineandfood
City College of San Francisco Culinary Arts Program
Website: https://www.ccsf.edu/
Instagram: @officialccsf
The Chefs
Carlos Altamirano – Altamirano Restaurant & Bar
Instagram: @altamiranorestaurants
Dennis Efthymiou – Luce/Bistro 888
Instagram: @dennis_efthymiou
Jason Halverson – The Vault Garden & Steakhouse
Instagram: @chefjasonhalverson
Dustin Valette – The Matheson, Roof 106 and Valette
Instagram: @dustinvalette
Norma Whitt – The Intercontinental San Francisco
Instagram: @chefnormalouise
Andrew Freeman is the Founder of af&co (https://www.afandco.com/) and the Co-Founder of Carbonate (https://www.carbonategroup.com/).
The Gay Gourmet
Published on May 8, 2025
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