I recently had breakfast with my Clergy Gals group and enjoyed a nice conversation about weddings with Linda, a Presbyterian minister. She mentioned that a couple she is marrying are nervous because they do not want her to use overtly Christian language during their ceremony. They asked that it be “spiritual, but not religious.” Linda said she has heard this request before, and that she always tells such couples that she will follow the Presbyterian Book of Common Worship.
Later, I looked up the Presbyterian wedding service, and found that I liked the language. It is quite lovely in its reverence for both God and for the gift of marriage. That said, I do understand that religious language is not for everyone. Most of the couples I marry ask for exactly what the other couple described to Linda—“spiritual, but not religious” language. Here I present the closing prayer from the Presbyterian service, and then offer an alternative that I often use with couples.
Closing Prayer from the Presbyterian Service:
Creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation, and giver of all grace: look with favor upon the world you have made and redeemed, and especially upon (the names of the individuals in the couple).
Give them wisdom and devotion in their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy.
Grant that their wills may be so knit together in your will, and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may grow in love and peace with you and each other all the days of their life.
Give them the grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and confess their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours.
Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love to this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair.
Give them such fulfillment of their mutual love that they may reach out in concern for others.
Grant that all who have witnessed these vows today may find their lives strengthened, and that all who are married may depart with their own promises renewed.
Enrich with your grace all husbands and wives, parents and children, that, loving and supporting one another, they may serve those in need and be a sign of your kingdom.
Grant that the bonds by which all your children are united to one another may be so transformed by your Spirit that your peace and justice may fill the earth, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Alternative:
We give thanks for the grace and abundance that fill our lives, and for our membership in the human family.
We give thanks for (names) and the blessing of their marriage this day.
We give thanks for all of the members of their beloved community—those present and those absent, including their ancestors, without whom this day, this wedding, would not be.
May (names) be lifted by this day, these people, and this precious and wonderful celebration.
May they give to one another unconditionally, expecting nothing in return,
May they find in themselves and each other grace in times of conflict, comfort in times of pain and loss, courage in times of fear.
May they experience joy in their everyday lives and contentment on their path of deepening spiritual maturity.
May their mutual love grow to encompass many, bringing justice and hope and healing where they are most needed.
May they practice kindness and compassion to one another in all the circumstances of their lives.
May laughter and warmth reign supreme in their home, and may they find peace in the center of this marriage.
And may it ever be so.
Reverend Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit marincoastweddings.com
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