By Tim Wolfred–
Bob Dockendorff, 85, a longtime San Francisco gay activist and major donor to numerous community organizations and political candidates, died on December 9, 2024. He had been enduring the debilitating effects of COPD for several years and passed away peacefully in his sleep.
Bob was born in Burlington, Iowa, in 1939. His family worked a large farm that had been established by his immigrant great grandfather in the mid-19th century. On his death, Bob was still the co-owner of the farm with his sister Linda Johnson.
Bob was active in high school sports, playing on his school’s football team.
He attended the University of Iowa, where he earned a degree in sociology. In 1964, he entered the United States Navy’s Officers Training School.
Bob first arrived in San Francisco in 1965 as a Navy officer overseeing the reactivation of a naval vessel for deployment to the war in Vietnam. He subsequently spent three years in the war zone. Memories of the horrific carnage he witnessed remained vivid throughout his life and influenced his progressive politics.
In 1968, he left active duty in the Navy and made the Bay Area his permanent home. He joined the Naval Reserves, where he served as a “weekend warrior” for 21 years. He found employment with the Pacific Maritime Association in San Francisco, rising to become Vice President of Communications and Research. He worked there until his retirement 33 years later.
He quickly immersed himself in the burgeoning gay community of the 1970s. He joined the board of the Cable Car Awards, serving on the committee that produced its wildly popular annual awards event. He became a member of the board of Operation Concern, the outpatient mental health agency that was created by the Tavern Guild in 1972 to serve the LGBTQ community.
As the gay community was building its political power base in the 70s and 80s, Bob was active in volunteering in campaigns and donating to candidates. He loved recounting how, after Harvey Milk was elected to the Board of Supervisors, he would time his trip home from work to connect with Harvey on the Castro-bound bus route they shared. They talked politics, of course, and Bob came to admire and emulate Harvey’s style of “pragmatic progressivism.”
For the successful 1987 Art Agnos mayoral campaign, Bob produced a constituent’s guide to city government that Art would distribute as a statement of his working knowledge of the mechanics of government. He frequently hosted campaign fundraisers in his Diamond Heights home, including several for Representative/Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi.
His political home base was the Harvey Milk Lesbian and Gay Democratic Club. He won the presidency of the Club in 1990. He was acknowledged as a highly organized and effective leader for the Club, improving its infrastructure, integrity and diversity; during his tenure its first Black Caucus was formed. He also joined the board of the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club.
He served as a Commissioner on the San Francisco Ethics Commission from 1995 to 2000. For several years, he was President of the Diamond Heights Neighborhood Association.
Bob helped organize and lead the national effort advocating for the repeal of the 1993 Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell act. He was proud to be present when President Obama signed the legislation that repealed it in 2010.
Bob was all about serving his community and improving the world around him, all without seeking acclaim or personal advantage. As one admirer framed it, he was an unsung hero whose generosity knew no bounds.
He was an early techie, keeping up on technological advances on many fronts. For decades, he attended an annual convention of tech developers in Las Vegas. That passion seems to have run in his family. Just earlier this year, Bob “lightly edited and organized” and published his grandfather’s diary. In it, his grandfather in Iowa had tracked the technological advances of his time—As It Was: How Life Changed 1888 to 1915 with Changes in Communication and Transportation. The book is available on Amazon.
Fortunately, much of Bob’s life is documented in an interview he did with David Weissman in 2015 for David’s educational and poignant documentary Conversations with Gay Elders (https://bit.ly/3BwGU0e). It includes Bob speaking at length on how he handled the demoralizing bias and discrimination that LGBTQ folks had to negotiate around in mid-20th century America.
Bob would want acknowledged two people especially important to him later in life: Byron McQuarters Norris, his roommate for 31 years, and Joey Jones, his extraordinarily talented caregiver for the last six years of his life.
Bob is survived by his sister, Linda Johnson, and two nieces. He will be buried in a cemetery plot near his parents in Burlington, Iowa. His executor and close friends will be planning a memorial service to occur sometime in the new year.
Tim Wolfred is a consultant who conducts executive search and succession planning services for nonprofit organizations.
In Memoriam
Published on December 19, 2024
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