By Sister Dana Van Iquity, Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun–
Sister Dana sez, “Easter Sunday is March 31. Be sure to ask the EASTER BUNNY for a big basket—oh, and also something to put the colored eggs in!”
We Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco’s revered and irreverent drag nuns, are delighted to invite the community once again to celebrate Easter with us on Sunday, March 31, in Dolores Park at FORTY-FIVE YEARS OF HOP(E)! Festivities start at 10 am with “Children’s Easter.” At noon there will be music, performance, and the legendary Hunky Jesus, Foxy Mary, and Bonnet contests judged by Sister Roma and me. Easter marks the forty-fifth anniversary of the Sisters. It all began in 1979, when a group of gay men appeared in the Castro wearing nuns’ habits on a lark and discovered a need for nondenominational and nonjudgmental ministry. Today, there is a global order of houses around the country and the world. We promulgate universal joy, expiate stigmatic guilt, and raise funds to support marginalized communities.
The main stage show begins at noon with emcees Honey Mahogany and Sister Roma, and an “egg-cellent” lineup of performers including Kat Robichaud, House of Pack, The Mabuhay Bitches, and Sugar Bear. Parents are advised that while nudity and profanity are prohibited, and some may find the Sisters’ trademark irreverence inappropriate for young children. As always, all are invited to enter the Hunky Jesus, Foxy Mary, and Easter Bonnet contests. When the contests are announced from the stage, contestants should gather backstage wearing their bonnet or their Mary and Jesus fabulousness. Finalists will be invited onstage for the audience to decide. Because stage space is limited, groups aren’t allowed. “Easter in the Park” is free and open to all. Sisters will be collecting donations to help cover expenses and support our grant fund, which in turn supports many worthy causes. Pack a picnic and bring friends to enjoy this signature San Francisco event! We draw a big crowd, so show up early to get a good spot.
THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE has placed four huge billboards in Rome, Georgia (the district of the despicable Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene). All signs have a picture of MTG and Trump. One billboard states: “Donald Trump is to blame for tanking the toughest border security bill in decades.” Another sign takes a Vanity Fair magazine headline: “House Republicans Are Promising to Blow Up Border Deal for Trump.” Sister Dana sez, “If just a few voters go Democrat in that ruby red Republican state—and if those big signs irritate the hell outta Marjie TeeGee—it will be worth the time and money the DNC put into those brilliant billboards!”
Former advisors to Trump are sounding the alarm that their former boss praises despots in private and on the campaign trail. Most alarming was Trump’s repeatedly saying, “HITLER did some good things.” We who still believe in democracy should be very concerned that Trump will bring us into an American autocracy. Trump even said he would be a dictator on day one of his election win. He threatens that if he loses, there will be “a bloodbath.” Trump openly admires current autocrats governing in Hungary, China, North Korea, and Russia. Alarmed by all this, Emmy Award winning filmmaker Ken Burns has created The U.S. and the Holocaust documentary, discussing the threat of dictatorship past and present.
Sister Dana sez, “Let’s start our own GAYocracy where we take over with our Gay Agenda, and wear rainbow caps with the MAGA letters spelling out: ‘Make America Gay Again!’”
The 96th Annual Oscar ceremony did not disappoint, with the spectacular “I’m Just Ken” number from the movie Barbie—and a kast of a kazillion Ken-ough dancers dressed in pink—surrounding the one and only singing Ken (handsome Ryan Gosling). Not to mention more zazz when the hunky muscleman actor John Cena copied the naked streaker guy (at a previous Oscar awards show) and appeared nude with a big envelope to cover his private parts! And later on, Cena reappeared in a full-length gown—complete with long, long train! Fabulous!
“LET THE RECORD SHOW” was a reading of her book by Sarah Schulman at the GLBT History Museum on March 13. It was all about the antics of the NYC ACT UP demonstrators for AIDS care and respect. In just six years, ACT UP New York—a broad and unlikely coalition of activists from all races, genders, sexualities, and backgrounds—changed the world. Meanwhile, back in SF, I went to almost every demonstration we activists in ACT UP SF held. Armed with rancor, desperation, intelligence, and creativity, we ACT UP people on both coasts took on the AIDS crisis with an indefatigable, ingenious, and multifaceted attack on the corporations, institutions, governments, and individuals who stood in the way of AIDS treatment for all. ACT UP stormed the FDA and NIH in Washington, D.C., and started needle exchange programs in New York; they took over Grand Central Terminal and fought to change the legal definition of AIDS to include women; they transformed the American insurance industry, weaponized art and advertising to push their agenda, and battled—and beat—The New York Times, the Catholic Church, and the pharmaceutical industry. This activism, in its complex and intersectional power, transformed the lives of people with AIDS and the bigoted society that had abandoned them.
On March 14, the Senate’s top Democrat and highest-ranking U.S. Jewish official, Majority Leader Senator Chuck Schumer, called for new elections in Israel, as well as calling Prime Minister Netanyahu “an obstacle to a two-state solution to the conflict.” He concluded, “Israel cannot hope to succeed as a pariah—opposed by the rest of the world.”
Meanwhile an anti-Biden group of Arab-Americans have formed a protesting verbal attack against the President for not causing an immediate end to the war in Gaza. They are known as the “Abandon Biden Campaign.” Sister Dana sez, “First of all, Biden is doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to have a ceasefire and a two-state solution; secondly, if you abandon Biden, good luck with the autocratic Trump and his terrible Muslim ban!”
Vice President Kamala Harris made a historic visit on March 14 to a Minnesota healthcare center that provides abortions and other care for women. She is the first sitting vice president to make such an appearance. “Right now, in our country we are facing a very serious healthcare crisis,” she emphasized, and called Trump “the architect of the healthcare crisis.” She continued, “How dare these elected leaders who believe they are in a better position to tell women what they need!” Harris concluded, “We have to be a nation that trusts women!” The vice president has been going nonstop state to state, hoping to rally voters for the issue of reproductive rights.
It should be noted that so far, 21 states have become anti-abortionist since the awful overturning of Roe v. Wade.
SAN FRANCISCO PRIDE has announced that Grand Marshal Voting is open until March 25! Grand Marshals represent a mix of individuals and organizations that have made significant contributions to the LGBTQ community. With the help of community input, SF Pride selects these groups and individuals in order to honor the work they have put into furthering the causes of LGBTQ people. San Francisco Pride Community Grand Marshals are local heroes who have contributed greatly to the SF Bay Area LGBTQ community or to society at large. Nominations have been tallied and eight amazing individuals and two incredible organizations have been added to the ballot. Nominees are Nicole Adler, Xander Briere, Fudgie Frottage, Serge Gay Jr., Julia Serano, Tory Teasley, Neo Veavea , Marvin K. White, and The Port Bar and Children’s After School Arts Program. To vote, click onto https://tinyurl.com/2z8t9ruk
It was ST. PATRICK’S DAY weekend, and we KREWE DE KINQUE folx, all in green, helped support the rainbow LGBTQ Community in the dangerous Middle East. On March 16 at the Midnight Sun bar, we had an exciting Music Release Party for extraordinary chanteuse Carly Ozard and her hit new song, “We Have A Dream.” She took the stage at 6 pm to sing that and more. We filled a “pot o’ gold” for the ALWAN FOUNDATION via Open Show Tips, a $10 Beer/Soda Bust, and a fun Raffle drawing. We met the founder of Alwan Foundation, Dr. Nas Mohamed, and heard about his experience as the first openly LGBTQ person from his home country Qatar. Our hosts, KDK King & Queen XXI Robert Makowka & Vivianne Vixen-Rose, kept the party hopping.
Otherwise steadfast conservative Republican Representative Ken Buck has served his resignation from Congress because “[T]his place just keeps going downhill, and I don’t need to spend my time here.” Sister Dana sez, “Right on, Ken, your observation rings true—from random impeachments to important bills NOT passed. Now, would any more downhill Republican Congress people like to likewise step down? We welcome you with open arms!”
SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS presents for one night only DRAG ME TO THE MOVIES on Thursday, March 28, 7:30 pm at Davies Symphony Hall and featuring special guest drag queen extraordinaire Lady Camden. This is a cinematic extravaganza that’s more dazzling than a Hollywood premiere. Roll out the glittering red carpet and step into a world where iconic film scores, pop culture anthems, and the allure of drag harmonize in one unforgettable evening. https://www.sfgmc.org/
EASTER EGG-STRAVAGANZA is a Castroriffic Block Party at Noe and Market Street on Saturday, March 30, noon–6 pm. San Francisco’s best and brightest bushy-tail bunnies converge again to commemorate Easter with their Bunny Hop and costume contests (pets, kids and adults—all open themed). Presented by https://www.artyhood.org/
You’re invited to a special PRC Open House on Wednesday, April 3, 5–7 pm. Join them as they celebrate PRC’s fifth anniversary at their Integrated Services Center at 170 9th Street. They will showcase PRC’s incredible work, serving over 5,000 individuals annually through transformative behavioral health and social services. Their Open House last fall was a huge success, and that inspired them to open their doors once again. This second open invitation offers an opportunity to explore PRC’s design award-winning Integrated Service Center, gain insight into the real-life experiences their clients face, and how they access programs that ultimately improve their lives. Enjoy small bites and surprises while they celebrate and recognize their dedicated volunteers who have been the backbone of their success.
The next monthly LOCKDOWN COMEDY show (on Zoom) will take place on Thursday, April 4, and features headliner Wendy Liebman (LA), Dhaya Lakshminarayanan (SF, but originally Alabama), Joseph Nguyen (SF, but originally Atlanta), producer/ comedian Lisa Geduldig (SF), and her 92-years-young mom, Arline Geduldig (Florida)—aka The Geduldig Sisters. https://tinyurl.com/3ynku8j7
Sister Dana sez, “Sadly, this will be my FINAL column of ‘Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun.’”
Sister Dana sez, “APRIL FOOLS! (April 1). They can’t keep this old nun down!!! See ya, dear readers, again in two weeks!”
Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun
Published on March 21, 2024
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