By Sister Dana Van Iquity, Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun–
Sister Dana sez, I wish everyone Happy HoliDaze! And remember to always keep the ‘X’ in ‘Xmas,’ Ho Ho, ’ho!”
RAINBOW WORLD FUND (RWF) presented its 18th annual WORLD TREE OF HOPE LIGHTING at Grace Cathedral on December 4. The impressive lineup included the Grammy winning San Francisco Boys Chorus, Emcee Donna Sachet, The Very Rev. Dr. Malcolm Young, coloratura soprano singer Leberta Lorál, Queer Chorus of San Francisco, Origami Artist Linda Mihara, RWF Founder Jeff Cotter, Ayae Yoshimoto on behalf of the Consul General of Japan—exchanging white dove origami with Cotter, RWF Board Member Joe Rodriguez, reigning SF Empress Cameron Stiehl-Munro and Emperor Michael Chua, owner of civic-minded Manny’s Manny Yekutiel, and six of us SF Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence who blessed The Tree—emphasizing the current good, inclusive humanity vs. worldwide evil; and light vs. worldwide darkness. There is never a reason for genocide!
Sister Dana sez, “This column was entirely written by Artificial Intelligence, and that is not his birth name, and furthermore … and furtherrr … mooore … Hummm! Bleep! Blorp! Buzzz!!!”
The GAS-OPERATED SEMI-AUTOMATIC FIREARMS EXCLUSION (GOSAFE) ACT was introduced on December 5 by proud gun owner Democratic Senator Martin Heinrich of New Mexico. The “GOSAFE Act” would protect Americans’ constitutional right to own a gun based on a firearm’s established use for self-defense, hunting, or sporting purposes. This is accomplished by including exemptions based on maximum ammunition capacity according to a firearm’s individual class: a rifle, shotgun, or handgun. This capacity must be “permanently fixed”—meaning the firearm cannot accept a detachable, high-capacity magazine that would increase the number of rounds that can be fired before reloading and would make reloading easier. More info at https://tinyurl.com/78322umf
The Pope says priests can bless same-sex couples—a radical change in Vatican policy. Sister Dana sez, “I am becoming closer and closer to being a Pope fan!”
A longstanding, famous carol written in 1943 with Judy Garland singing it in the MGM 1944 musical, Meet Me in St. Louis, was modified with lyrics by Frank Sinatra. Entitled Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, one of the lines is “Make the Yuletide gay.” Sister Dana sez, “Well, I definitely plan to make MY Yuletide as GAY as possible. Totally gay’n it up to the max! Ho! Ho! Homo!”
Democrat from California Foreign Affairs Committee Representative Sydney Kamlager-Dove has flawlessly addressed the fearful outcome of a Trump presidential win. The orange ogre will eliminate Obamacare but replace it with nothing. This was the bozo (my words) who denied COVID-19’s existence and then advised drinking bleach. He continues to stir the pot with hate and vitriol, calling anyone not bowing down to him as vermin to be destroyed, while weaponizing the Department of Defense. He wrongly called President Joe Biden “the destroyer of American Democracy.” Is he looking in the mirror?He is an abortion denier and bigot, homophobe, anti-choice psychopathic, narcissistic dictator who wants to tear down the country! And he doesn’t ever want to leave the White House once installed. He plans to avoid jail by being the Teflon President. Illegalities slip right off him.
Sister Dana sez, “This dick-tater is a clear and present danger to democracy!”
In the good news department, Judges have ruled that ex-prez Trump is officially NOT immune to either civil or criminal lawsuits. He was not a sitting president during the January 6 riots and insurrection. District Judge Tanya S. Chutkan has ruled, “Whatever immunities a sitting President may enjoy, the United States has only one Chief Executive at a time, and that position does not confer a life-long ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ pass.”
Sister Dana sez, “Make no mistake about it! The trembling, cowardly, frightened, RePUNKlicans will make this anti-democratic beast their presidential candidate. We activists must get everyone we know to the voting booths and VOTE OUT all the MAGA (ass) hats!”
A new ad from SAVE OUR REPUBLIC is warning against third-party candidates such as Robert F. Kennedy Jr., as spoilers to reelect Darn Old Trump. When the anti-Trump group, Citizens to Save Our Republic, first launched, its main goal was to expose the third-party group, “No Labels,” as a sure-fire effort to elect Trump. Now the group is expanding its scope to target all third-party candidates, dropping two new ads in a $100,000 ad buy.
Sister Dana sez, “We absolutely must prevent any independents or persons from running for president. Any of these is a vote taken away from President Joe Biden and another vote for the Commander-in-Cheat. Remember the great spoilers: Ralph Nader, Ross Perot, George Wallace?!”
Mayor London Breed joined state and city elected leaders, SFPD Command Staff, and United Playaz Leaders to sponsor this year’s annual GUN BUY BACK event on December 9 at 1038 Howard Street—providing a place for people to turn in their weapons, no questions asked, and get guns off the streets and out of communities.
Sister Dana sez, “Beware! The Elf on the Shelf is watching you bad, bad, very bad Republicans! Better behave!”
Norman Lear—legendary writer and producer of such visionary, groundbreaking, really funny TV sitcoms as All in the Family, The Jeffersons, One Day at a Time, Maude, and so many more shows, has ascended into the sitcom in the sky. On his ONE HUNDRED ONE BIRTHDAY, Lear had said, “I often feel disheartened by the direction our politics, courts, and culture are taking. But I do not lose faith in our country or its future. I remind myself how far we have come.” Sister Dana sez, “Dear Mr. Lear, (1922–2023) Rest in Power, Peace, Honor, and Glory!”
CIRCUS BELLA is excited to present “KALEIDOSCOPE,” a Holiday Winter Spectacular in their beautiful 350-seat Circus Tent in the heart of San Francisco now through December 31, at the Crossing at the East Cut, 211 Howard Street. A diverse cast of 12 performs thrilling feats of balance and strength, demonstrations of grace and poise, outrageous humor, and slapstick antics. https://tinyurl.com/2hdp7b8b
Sister Dana sez, “Answered prayer: hunky ABC-TV Weatherman Rob Marciano has grown back his beard. Woof!”
Tickets are now on-sale for the 31ST ANNUAL KUNG PAO KOSHER COMEDY—Jewish Comedy on Christmas in a Chinese Restaurant (in-person in SF at Imperial Palace and livestreamed) December 23–25. Featuring a stellar line-up: Wendy Liebman, Rich Aronovitch, Talia Reese, Lisa Geduldig, and Lisa’s 92-years-young mamelah, Arline Geduldig, by video from Florida. www.koshercomedy.com
Sister Dana sez, “December 27 is National Fruitcake Day. For me, fruitcake is both an annoying gift and not delicious dessert—or it’s a great way to insult folx: ‘You are such a fruitcake!’”
Now in its 18th year, the eagerly-awaited San Francisco tradition, THE GOLDEN GIRLS LIVE: The Holiday Episodes has returned to the Victoria Theater, 2961 16th Street, now through December 23. It is directed by D’Arcy Drollinger. Heklina, who played Dorothy Zbornak since the iteration of the production in 2006, passed away in April of this year. The cast and crew were honored to announce that legendary Coco Peru has stepped in to perform as Dorothy in this year’s run. The production takes four drag legends and casts them in two parody Xmas episodes of the uproarious TV show. This hysterical drag send-up and heartfelt tribute to the characters the entire world has come to know and love features, in addition to Coco Peru (Dorothy), Matthew Martin (Blanche), D’Arcy Drollinger (Rose), and Holotta Tymes (Sophia). It also features longtime actors Manuel Caneri and Michael Phillis with Tom Shaw on the piano. “Thank You for Being a Friend!” www.thegoldengirlslive.com
Every year, the SAN FRANCISCO LESBIAN/GAY FREEDOM BAND (SFLGFB)—the Official Band of San Francisco—blends Tchaikovsky’s classic The Nutcracker ballet with a different and entertaining theme and storyline. The result is a fun-filled original musical production brimming with wit, artistry, and ingenuity. When the “Dance Along!” sign flashes, we in the audience are invited to get out of our seats and sashay around the theater. Last year I led us in a spirited conga line! You don’t have to dance, but you’ll feel rather left out. Held in the Yerba Buena Center for the arts, it’s always part comedy musical, part dance-it-yourself ballet, and part symphonic concert. This year, the Dance-Along Nutcracker took a spooky turn with THE NUTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS as the spirit of Halloween continued into December! Clara and Fritz have only ever known Christmas Town, but one Christmas Eve, when their Uncle visits from Halloween Town, they decide to sneak away and investigate Halloween Town for themselves. I found H-town very similar to EssEff, especially its street sign stating: Howl Street (which rhymes with Powell Street.) Fritz, by the way, was thumbing through a San Francisco Bay Times newspaper to find the local entertainment available. We gleefully joined Fritz and Clara to meet several spooky denizens and, of course, learn some important life lessons along the way! Highlights were Uncle Drossermeyer boldly singing “I Am What I Am,” the full cast singing “Brand New Day,” and closing with the theme from The Addams Family—and getting us and The Band to click along. We also found ourselves with a hidden talent to throw on a tutu and pirouette the night away.
Israeli troops have “mistakenly” killed three Israeli hostages (who were showing a white flag of surrender) during combat with Hamas in the Gaza Strip on December 15, according to the Israeli military. This tragic loss has been labeled as “friendly fire.” Sister Dana sez, “War is never FRIENDLY. Cease fire immediately! Let the two nations come together, negotiate, and divide up this tiny, minuscule, little strip of bombed out land between the two!”
We joined other columnists and friends of the SAN FRANCISCO BAY TIMES for our annual Holiday Party, co-hosted with the Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) on December 12 at The Academy SF. We raised a toast to the 50th Anniversary Year of GGBA coming in 2024, and to the joy of the Holiday Season. Among the attendees were SF Bay Times publishers Betty Sullivan & Jennifer Viegas, GGBA President Tony Archuleta- Perkins, Donna Sachet, Bay Times volunteer coordinatorJuan Davila who for part of the evening was a lit-up Christmas Tree, philanthropist Lawrence Wong, City Treasurer Jose Cisneros, and a fly-by visit from The Grinch. Plus, we enjoyed a fabulous live music performance by Beach Blanket Babylon star Renée Lubin accompanied by Dr. Dee Spencer. DJ Rockaway spun tunes, and we all sang carols like drunken elves!
Good way to approach 2024: More individuals who identify as LGBTQ ran for office than ever before, with 2023 seeing a record number of LGBTQ political candidates in an off-year election.
Sister Dana sez, “HAPPY QUEER NEW YEAR 2024! Every New Year it’s the same old story—we make these resolutions with total determination to keep them, but then within a week or so they have become mere memories of our best intentions utterly gone to pot (and we ain’t talkin’ cannabis here).”
Sister Dana sez, “This year, try my annual, totally unbreakable RESOLUTION SOLUTION: ‘I resolve to be the best me I can be.’ It’s foolproof!”
Sister Dana Sez Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun
Published on December 21, 2023
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