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    Sister Dana sez, “It’s the Chinese New Year of the Goat!”


    By Sister Dana Van Iquity

    Sister Dana sez, “It’s the Chinese New Year of the Goat, and I kid you not! Bad pun. Anyway: Gung Hay Fat Choy, everybuddy!”

    Well, I got through the dreaded Valentine’s Day, thanks to the LESBIAN/GAY CHORUS OF SAN FRANCISCO who sang their 12th annual anti-valentines concert, LOVE BITES, at Martuni’s in the piano room to the delight of all us frustrated, bitter, uncoupled queers. The Chorus dramatically filed into the room – one by one – singing “Maybe This Time” from Cabaret. Joan Goldman played kazoo and sang Jelly Roll Morton’s angry “Don’t You Leave Me Here!” Noam Szoke & Paul Peninger accused one another of being either a top or a bottom to Cole Porter’s “You’re the Top.” We all had a sing-along to Porter’s “Let’s Do It,” but substituted naughty intercourse words throughout. Ellen Miller & Tom McElroy donned curly blonde wigs as dueling hookers with Porter’s “Love for Sale.” Hilarious! Jason LeBrun, Fernando Ruelos, Billy Sauerland, Alyssa Stone, & Scott Turco parodied the traditional madrigal, “My Bonnie Lass She Smileth” – where this particular lass “Smelleth” – and everything quickly went deliciously downhill. Dale Danley played Horton the lonely elephant to Van Mares portrayal as the tiny speck of dust on a clover flower in Whovile with “Alone in the Universe” from Seussical the Musical. Paul Michael Alves sang a somewhat somber “I Never Knew His Name” from The Civil War, with Jason LeBrun on flute. Joan Goldman soloed with LeBrun, Tom McElroy, & Noam Szoke in hippie drag singing the saloon version “California Drinkin’” to the deranged Goldman lyrics of “California Dreamin’.” Cole Thomason-Redus (who was also the guest music director and pianist) sang the hell outta the appropriately angry, bitter “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen. John Gullotto sang “I’m Sorry” as Sumi Imamoto paralleled “Who’s Sorry Now” while they both strummed ukuleles. Mr. Jae Truesdell broke our hearts with Adele’s “Someone Like You.” And the entire cast reassembled for the grand finale to sing about “The Glory of Love.” It made me NOT have to go home and open a vein.

    More Valentine’s Day relief came via the good energy evident during the launch party at Sweet Inspiration for the new photo exhibit KISS FOR THE BAY TIMES. It’s the first ever exhibit devoted to couples kissing at the San Francisco Pride Parade, and features must-see images taken by our talented team of photographers. Look for yours truly in the collection! The exhibit counters both national and international backlash against images of LGBT people displaying basic affection, such as hand-holding and kissing, in public. The exhibit will be up for the next month or so. Don’t miss it, and the yummy desserts and other food & drink at Sweet Inspiration. 2239 Market Street,

    There is only one name synonymous with cosmic horror: H.P. Lovecraft. HAM PANTS PRODUCTIONS presented at The Hypnodrome their third annual pageant of cosmic horror, NAKED DUDES READING LOVECRAFT – NOW WITH NAKED LADIES! We gazed with lascivious interest as we reeled in terror from the reanimation of the not-so-recently departed; inspected the contours of the damned whilst losing our minds from the unimaginable size of the Elder Gods; and marveled at some of San Francisco’s finest avant-garde actors and actresses, reading excerpts from some of Lovecraft’s finest work while displaying 100% visible wing-wangs & hoo-hoos!

    The actors requested I not use their real names, but to give credit, here are their stage names and Lovecraft chapters: “Nyarlathotep” by Jim J; “What the Moon Brings” by Koy; “The White Ship” by John Flaw; a musical selection on ear-bleeding, metal-banging electric guitar by Dio Go-Go; “Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family” by Sailor; “A Beast in the Cave” by Belle Zibub; “Lovecraftian Limericks” by The Lovecraftian Poet; “Herbert West: Reanimator” by Mr. Dicks-It; “Swinging Set Dressing” by Christian Simonsez; an appearance by Travis; and our host with the most, Andie Dub. The frightening finale featured the entire naked cast as super scary reanimated monsters in a frenzied flesh feast. Oh the horror!

    The IMPERIAL COUNCIL OF SAN FRANCISCO presented their 50TH ANNIVERSARY GALA (Golden Jubilee) in the City Hall Rotunda. Co-Emcees Gary Virginia & Queen Cougar kept things moving as we heard from elected officials, Senator Mark Leno & Supervisor Scott Wiener officially proclaiming the day in honor of the Imperials; we viewed the entrancing trailer for the Court documentary, 50 Years of Fabulous: The Imperial Council Story, by Empress Chablis aka David Lassman; honored the late great Court founder, Empress Jose Sarria, watched the dramatic Procession of the San Francisco Monarchs (big-wigs in big wigs) walk down the grand Rotunda stairway; dined and danced, and enjoyed music from the Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, the SF Gay Men’s Chorus, the Klipptones, Kippy Marks, and City Swing – as well as “Gay Paree” King Louie of Beach Blanket Babylon singing our anthem, “San Francisco.”

    All of that followed the SF IMPERIAL CORONATION at the Galleria Design Center the night before – with the official stepping down of Emperor JP Soto & Empress Misty Blue and the finale crowning our newest elected imperials, Emperor Kevin Lisle & Empress Khmera Rouge. Congratulations to all!

    How thrilling it was to see on TV newly openly gay singer/ composer Sam Smith be the biggest winner – taking home FOUR Grammys at the 57th annual GRAMMY AWARDS and singing his hit, “Stay with Me” as a duet with the fabulous Mary J. Blige!

    MAGNET, the Castro hub of health and wellbeing for gay/bi men, is excited to welcome Oth Khotsimeuang to the Magnet Gallery for the month of February with his amazing work, “Boys of Melody” – all about celebrating the small fleeting moments of life. The work is also about increasing visibility of positive gay imagery with tenderness, humor, and emotion – which is often absent in the sea of overtly sexual/body shaming propaganda that targets gay culture. His cartoon characters are utterly charming!


    Don’t miss the critically acclaimed musical on the life of legendary “Disco Queen” SYLVESTER entitled MIGHTY REAL at the Brava Theatre, 2781 24th Street, now through March 1st! Direct from New York City comes Broadway star, Anthony Wayne (Pippin, Priscilla) who brilliantly brings the legendary disco diva to vivid life. With a dozen songs like “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real),” “Can’t Stop Dancing,” “Do You Wanna Funk,” and “You Are My Friend,” this show tells the life story of Sylvester through HIS music and HIS point of view. Joining Mr. Wayne are Broadway Divas Anastacia McCleskey & Jacqueline B. Arnold as The Two Tons of Fun/Weather Girls. For the opening night reception, we met the cast and co-producer, the lovely, talented actress Sheryl Lee Ralph who gave a shout-out of respect to us Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in the audience. #blessed.

    BALONEY is San Francisco’s Gay All-Male Revue choreographed by Rory Davis, directed by Michael Phillis, and starring Rory Davis, James Arthur M., Adam Roy, Shaun Mullen, Moe Arikat, Alex Steinhaus, Tim Wingert & Aaron Sarazan. Hosted by Michael Phillis on Friday, February 20th, 8-10pm at Oasis, 298 11th Street at Folsom.

    ACADEMY OF FRIENDS presents A CENTURY OF RADIANCE on Sunday, February 22, at the San Francisco Design Center Galleria, 101 Henry Adams Street. This marks their 35th Annual Academy Awards Night Gala with ticket sales benefitting HIV/AIDS Services in the San Francisco Bay Area. Everyone at the event will enjoy foods provided by the Bay Area’s finest restaurants and caterers, unlimited wine and champagne by amazing vintners, along with a fun way to watch the 2015 Oscars. Following the awards broadcast is an incredible show presented by the cast of Disney’s Broadway smash-hit, Newsies, then dancing until the doors close.

    The ASIAN ART MUSEUM has just opened its new winter exhibition, SEDUCTION: JAPAN’S FLOATING WORLD, which will be on display at 200 Larkin Street. There was a big opening party on February 19. The party featured interdisciplinary artist Midori and DJ Proof (Massive Selector). Midori brought the art of Seduction to life, armed with cardboard props, wigs, and a frisky cast of characters to pepper the party with scenes from Seduction’s centerpiece – a 58-foot scroll depicting a lively visit to the Yoshiwara (Japan’s pleasure quarter). Edo period Japan (1615-1868) slipped out of time to emerge into modern day San Francisco. Imagine a samurai as a GI Joe or high-ranking prostitute as a glam drag queen – and that was only a small sample. Over 60 works of art are on display now through May 10th.

    THOMASINA’S ART EXHIBIT is currently displayed at Cafe International, 508 Haight Street. These are the ladies of RED HOT BURLESQUE, an ongoing performance throughout the city of SF and Oakland led and conceived by the over the top fabulous, outrageous dancing Dottie Lux. Featuring your fave performers Dottie, Ariyana La Fey, Ruby Vixenn, Kitty Von Quim, & Nadia Bobadia – to name just a few “goils” on oils. Thomasina DeMaio is a renowned EssEff artist who also offers free art sessions every Monday evening at Moby Dick bar, 4049 18th Street. She provides live models and only asks for donations to the people posing for hours and hours. This is for both newbies and accomplished artists.

    Pornucopia: this week’s flick pick is Poolside 2 from

    Sister Dana sez: We have a powerful Prez! In an interview with BuzzFeed, President Obama said he would welcome a ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court that same-sex couples have the freedom to marry in every state, saying: “It’s time to recognize that under the equal protection clause of the United States Constitution, same-sex couples should have the same rights as anybody else.” The President also voiced support for same-sex couples seeking the freedom to marry in Alabama, where Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore ordered county probate judges to disregard a federal court ruling declaring that Alabama’s ban on marriage by same-sex couples is unconstitutional. President Obama stated: “When federal law is in conflict with state law, federal law wins out.” Kudos, Prez!