Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

Sister Dana Van Iquity

Sister Dana sez, “Here’s the latest homophobic quote from the irReverend Pat Robertson: ‘’’In Jesus’ time, if two men decided they wanted to cohabit together, they would have been stoned to death. So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake, nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there.’ Wow! Can’t ya just FEEL the Christian love?! No?”

ALLIANCE HEALTH PROJECT celebrated their 30th anniversary with an open house at AHP Services Center at 1930 Market Street with a reunion of current and former staff, clients, and supporters. The LGBTQ and HIV-affected clients they serve experience high levels of stigma and stress. Too many are marginalized, uninsured, and under-served. The result is that they are disproportionately affected by mental illness, substance use, violence, and homelessness when compared to the general population. So despite the fact that in 1984, they imagined that AHP would be gone, along with AIDS, within a few years, they now pledge to be here for the next 30 years.

An impressive timeline stretched from one wall to the other, starting with 1979, when people avoided being identified as being from SF because of “a strange, new, gay illness.” In 1981, Center for Disease Control reported the first rare pneumonia case. Later, CDC reported 1,112 U.S. cases of AIDS – with 176 in San Francisco. Thirty years of HIV followed. Now, in 2014, there is hope that gene therapy might prevent HIV; but regarding the negative news, since 2013, Nigeria, Uganda, and Russia passed repressive anti-LGBTQ laws under international protest.

In the memorabilia room were framed resolutions and certificates of honor to AHP from various politicos, t-shirts from the past, photo albums, newsletters, pamphlets, booklets, and books from 30 years of AHP history.

THE CASTRO/UPPER MARKET COMMUNITY BENEFIT DISTRICT held its ANNUAL SOCIAL at the Patio Cafe. The mission of the Castro/Upper Market Community Benefit District is to provide services that improve the quality of life in the neighborhood, emphasizing clean, safe, beautiful streets. It also promotes the area’s economic vitality, fosters the Castro’s unique district identity, and honors its diverse history. The Castro Street Redesign was the first “streetcscape” project funded under a $248 million street repair bond measure approved by voters in 2011. This includes the 20 hanging flower baskets already installed. The Rainbow Honor Walk will be installed this summer. An example of a square is on display at the HRC store in the Castro. Board President Alan Lau welcomed Castro neighbors and friends and introduced board members and announced they are looking for more members. I must say I am thrilled we will be having rainbow crosswalks, but would like to please request a yellow brick road leading to my apartment. Executive Director Andrea Aiello thanked the design and reconstruction team for their help in improving the Castro and mentioned the official theme: “It’s hard work looking beautiful!” She said even though the streets are torn up, “The Castro is still open for business.” She said the sidewalks should be finished by June 17, in time for Pride Week. The Community Partner Award was presented to The Cafe for constantly monitoring the tables and chairs at Jane Warner Plaza. castrocbd.org

LUSTER – AN AMERICAN SONGBOOK, was performed at Davies Symphony Hall by the SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS, featuring special guest star Ann Hampton Callaway and the world premiere of Tyler’s Suite. It was a celebration of 20th Century American music, sung by the men of the chorus and Callaway doing timeless classics from George Gershwin, Cole Porter, Duke Ellington and Irving Berlin. And with Tyler’s Suite in the second act, SFGMC brought together eight of America’s most celebrated composers to add to the 21st Century Songbook. At the VIP pre-party, SFGMC Conductor Tim Seelig lauded Nolan Gasser, composer of “I Have Songs You Haven’t Heard,” Lance Horne for “A Wish,” Pamela Stewart, who wrote Tyler’s Suite, Stephen Schwartz for “Brother, Because of You,” and John Jacobs, genius choreographer.

Clementi’s family was also present. Seelig called Tyler’s Suite one of the most important works the Chorus has executed – not just for the LGBTQ community alone, but for anyone who has experienced the tragedies resulting from bullying. On screens were meaningful photos from Tyler’s childhood. Callaway soloed a gorgeous “With a Song in My Heart.” The whole show brought tears of sadness and of joy as well, especially when Callaway gave a “diva blessing” and improvised a hilarious Castro love song with suggestions from the audience. The program concluded with an encore of Harold Arlen’s iconic “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” An absolutely stellar concert!

Hosted by gorgeous drag legends Peaches Christ and Heklina, the annual DRAG QUEENS OF COMEDY at the Castro Theatre featured fabulous live performances by comic DQs Coco Peru, producer Sasha Soprano, Vicky Vox, Lady Bunny, Shangela, Pandora Boxx, Willam, and Bianca Del Rio.  I do loves me my SINGING DQs, so props go to Lady Bunny for her string of hilarious parodies, including «All That Jizz;» to Shangela’s original nasty lyrics to «Private Dancer;» to Willam dressed as an adult Little Orphan Annie singing her very adult lyrics to «The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow;” and to Coco for her “That’s Life,” dedicated to all us “elderly folks over 30.” All the comics were really funny, although each set could have been edited a tad for brevity.

CUMMING UP!

THRILLPEDDLERS presents PEARLS OVER SHANGHAI as a 5th anniversary production at the Hypnodrome, 575 10th Street, now through May 31st, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8pm. This show is an incredible EssEff historical piece – first done by the famed Cockettes in 1971. New dialogue is by Cockette Scrumbly Koldewyn and Cockette “Sweet Pam” Tent, musical direction by Koldewyn, directed by Russell Blackwood. This is a comic mock-operetta about white slavery, opium dens, and miscegenation set in the colorful world of 1937 Shanghai. Link Martin places his story of good and evil in this exotic “old sin town” filled with singing sailors, humorous whores, foolish immortals, handmaidens and henchmen, all taking their places in streets teeming with a mix of foreign aristocrats, opium addicts, and gangland slave-trade czars. And there’s plenty of lively dancing and singing enhanced with ornate costumes and gobs of glitter in the mix!

The musical stars in order of appearance: The 3 Wobbling Robin Sisters – Zelda Koznofsky (as Delightful), Birdie-Bob Watt (Deluxe), Jesse Cortez (Delicious); Steven Satyricon (All American hero Captain Eddy), Eric Tyson Wertz (poor little LiLi Frustrata), Russell Blackwood (evil Mother Fu), Earl Paus (henchman Chop Chop), original Cockette Rumi Missabu (nasty Madam Gin Sling), John Flaw (bad Chang), Sloane Smith (Woody), James Toczyl (Shangri La idol), Flynn Witmeyer (Hank, Wuwu), Bonni Suval (Lottie Wu), Gabriel Ross (lovelorn Sebastian), Noah Haydon (Russian temptress Petrushka), Bruna Palmeiro, Diego Gomez, Jessica Finn, Bryn Laux (Whores), Rose Bobrick, Victoria Hibbert (Denizens), Steve Bolinger (Stewpot), and “Sweet Pam” Tent (Mrs. Goldberg, the insufficient chaperone). All together, this cast is a well-oiled, eye-popping, immoral machine of hysteria. My only complaint is the dearth of weenies waving in the wind, as in the old Cockette days. I mean, consider the first syllable of their name, for gawd’s sake! Anyway, go see this delicious show and rock out with your Cockette out! thrillpeddlers.com

THE LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER’s annual fundraising soiree, A JAZZ TRIBUTE TO SF’S BEAT GENERATION, at City View at the Metreon, will feature a hosted bar, gourmet morsels, music, dancing, and live entertainment. Saturday, April 5th, 8pm to midnight, VIP reception: 6:30 to 8pm. It will be a bohemian, jazz-filled night that gives beatniks, hipsters, poets, and romantics the opportunity to celebrate and support all the ways in which the Center inspires our community to be stronger, healthier, and more fabulous. sfcenter.org

LESBIAN/GAY CHORUS OF SAN FRANCISCO joins with CITY SWING to present SWING BREAK, two sparkling evenings of singing and big band jazz on Friday and Saturday, April 11th and 12th, 7:30 pm. The Mission Cultural Center, 2868 Mission Street, will be magically transformed to resemble a Hollywood supper club of old. lgcsf.org or call 415-779-5428415-779-5428

EQUALITY CALIFORNIA is proud to honor two City and County of San Francisco officials, Barbara Garcia and Dennis Herrera at the SAN FRANCISCO EQUALITY AWARDS, Saturday, April 12th, 6pm cocktail reception, 7pm dinner, 9pm after-party, the Palace Hotel, 2 New Montgomery Street. Music by Frenchie Davis of TV’s American Idol. eqcaawards.org

THE BIG GAY COMEDY SHOW is a fun fundraiser for RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION on April 13th at the Marines’ Memorial Theater, 609 Sutter Street. It’s a queer musical and standup comedy treat with a dozen of your favorite funny faggy friends. richmondermet.org

THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE are getting ready for Easter. Magnet (at 18th and Castro) will host a small ARCHIVE EXHIBITION/CELEBRATION at 7-9Pm on April 17 with a short program – so let the Holy Thursday commence! Later at 10pm, we’re putting on a show at the Edge bar, COOKIE DOUGH MONSTER SHOW: HOLY BROADWAY! with music from these Heavenly Broadway Musicals: Book Of Mormon, Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell, Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and Sister Act. Sister Dana is rumored to perform along with his fellow nuns. And SPI 35TH ANNIVERSARY EASTER IN GOLDEN GATE PARK is the following Sunday. More info on that in the next issue.

SISTER BARBI MITZVAH’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE will be held at the MCC Church on April 12th. Doors open, 5:30pm with the event starting at 6pm sharp. Dress theme = wear her favorite habit color of pink. thesisters.org

Wells Fargo and SHANTI PROJECT present their 13th anniversary fundraiser, DOUBLE DOWN FOR SHANTI, on April 12th, 3-6pm at the City Club of San Francisco, 155 Sansome Street, for casino games, cocktails, entertainment, silent auction, and a short inspirational program. All proceeds directly benefit Shanti’s Margot Murphy Breast Cancer Program, which provides care navigation, advocacy, emotional support, and health and wellness activities for 500 women with breast cancer annually. shanti.org

Sister Dana sez, “Fred is Dead! Is it wrong to thank God that vile homophobic preacher Fred ‘God Hates Fags’ Phelps is dead and gone? Maybe I’ll let Nathan Phelps, his son, speak: ‘Fred Phelps is now the past. Unfortunately, Fred’s ideas have not died with him, but live on, not just among the members of Westboro Baptist Church, but among the many communities and small minds that refuse to recognize the equality and humanity of our brothers and sisters on this small planet we share. I will mourn his passing, not for the man he was, but for the man he could have been.’ Sister Dana sez, Amen!”

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

Sister Dana sez, “Here’s the latest homophobic quote from the irReverend Pat Robertson: ‘’’In Jesus’ time, if two men decided they wanted to cohabit together, they would have been stoned to death. So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake, nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there.’ Wow! Can’t ya just FEEL the Christian love?! No?”

ALLIANCE HEALTH PROJECT celebrated their 30th anniversary with an open house at AHP Services Center at 1930 Market Street with a reunion of current and former staff, clients, and supporters. The LGBTQ and HIV-affected clients they serve experience high levels of stigma and stress. Too many are marginalized, uninsured, and under-served. The result is that they are disproportionately affected by mental illness, substance use, violence, and homelessness when compared to the general population. So despite the fact that in 1984, they imagined that AHP would be gone, along with AIDS, within a few years, they now pledge to be here for the next 30 years.

An impressive timeline stretched from one wall to the other, starting with 1979, when people avoided being identified as being from SF because of “a strange, new, gay illness.” In 1981, Center for Disease Control reported the first rare pneumonia case. Later, CDC reported 1,112 U.S. cases of AIDS – with 176 in San Francisco. Thirty years of HIV followed. Now, in 2014, there is hope that gene therapy might prevent HIV; but regarding the negative news, since 2013, Nigeria, Uganda, and Russia passed repressive anti-LGBTQ laws under international protest.

In the memorabilia room were framed resolutions and certificates of honor to AHP from various politicos, t-shirts from the past, photo albums, newsletters, pamphlets, booklets, and books from 30 years of AHP history.

THE CASTRO/UPPER MARKET COMMUNITY BENEFIT DISTRICT held its ANNUAL SOCIAL at the Patio Cafe. The mission of the Castro/Upper Market Community Benefit District is to provide services that improve the quality of life in the neighborhood, emphasizing clean, safe, beautiful streets. It also promotes the area’s economic vitality, fosters the Castro’s unique district identity, and honors its diverse history. The Castro Street Redesign was the first “streetcscape” project funded under a $248 million street repair bond measure approved by voters in 2011. This includes the 20 hanging flower baskets already installed. The Rainbow Honor Walk will be installed this summer. An example of a square is on display at the HRC store in the Castro. Board President Alan Lau welcomed Castro neighbors and friends and introduced board members and announced they are looking for more members. I must say I am thrilled we will be having rainbow crosswalks, but would like to please request a yellow brick road leading to my apartment. Executive Director Andrea Aiello thanked the design and reconstruction team for their help in improving the Castro and mentioned the official theme: “It’s hard work looking beautiful!” She said even though the streets are torn up, “The Castro is still open for business.” She said the sidewalks should be finished by June 17, in time for Pride Week. The Community Partner Award was presented to The Cafe for constantly monitoring the tables and chairs at Jane Warner Plaza. castrocbd.org

LUSTER – AN AMERICAN SONGBOOK, was performed at Davies Symphony Hall by the SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS, featuring special guest star Ann Hampton Callaway and the world premiere of Tyler’s Suite. It was a celebration of 20th Century American music, sung by the men of the chorus and Callaway doing timeless classics from George Gershwin, Cole Porter, Duke Ellington and Irving Berlin. And with Tyler’s Suite in the second act, SFGMC brought together eight of America’s most celebrated composers to add to the 21st Century Songbook. At the VIP pre-party, SFGMC Conductor Tim Seelig lauded Nolan Gasser, composer of “I Have Songs You Haven’t Heard,” Lance Horne for “A Wish,” Pamela Stewart, who wrote Tyler’s Suite, Stephen Schwartz for “Brother, Because of You,” and John Jacobs, genius choreographer.

Clementi’s family was also present. Seelig called Tyler’s Suite one of the most important works the Chorus has executed – not just for the LGBTQ community alone, but for anyone who has experienced the tragedies resulting from bullying. On screens were meaningful photos from Tyler’s childhood. Callaway soloed a gorgeous “With a Song in My Heart.” The whole show brought tears of sadness and of joy as well, especially when Callaway gave a “diva blessing” and improvised a hilarious Castro love song with suggestions from the audience. The program concluded with an encore of Harold Arlen’s iconic “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” An absolutely stellar concert!

Hosted by gorgeous drag legends Peaches Christ and Heklina, the annual DRAG QUEENS OF COMEDY at the Castro Theatre featured fabulous live performances by comic DQs Coco Peru, producer Sasha Soprano, Vicky Vox, Lady Bunny, Shangela, Pandora Boxx, Willam, and Bianca Del Rio.  I do loves me my SINGING DQs, so props go to Lady Bunny for her string of hilarious parodies, including «All That Jizz;» to Shangela’s original nasty lyrics to «Private Dancer;» to Willam dressed as an adult Little Orphan Annie singing her very adult lyrics to «The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow;” and to Coco for her “That’s Life,” dedicated to all us “elderly folks over 30.” All the comics were really funny, although each set could have been edited a tad for brevity.

CUMMING UP!

THRILLPEDDLERS presents PEARLS OVER SHANGHAI as a 5th anniversary production at the Hypnodrome, 575 10th Street, now through May 31st, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8pm. This show is an incredible EssEff historical piece – first done by the famed Cockettes in 1971. New dialogue is by Cockette Scrumbly Koldewyn and Cockette “Sweet Pam” Tent, musical direction by Koldewyn, directed by Russell Blackwood. This is a comic mock-operetta about white slavery, opium dens, and miscegenation set in the colorful world of 1937 Shanghai. Link Martin places his story of good and evil in this exotic “old sin town” filled with singing sailors, humorous whores, foolish immortals, handmaidens and henchmen, all taking their places in streets teeming with a mix of foreign aristocrats, opium addicts, and gangland slave-trade czars. And there’s plenty of lively dancing and singing enhanced with ornate costumes and gobs of glitter in the mix!

The musical stars in order of appearance: The 3 Wobbling Robin Sisters – Zelda Koznofsky (as Delightful), Birdie-Bob Watt (Deluxe), Jesse Cortez (Delicious); Steven Satyricon (All American hero Captain Eddy), Eric Tyson Wertz (poor little LiLi Frustrata), Russell Blackwood (evil Mother Fu), Earl Paus (henchman Chop Chop), original Cockette Rumi Missabu (nasty Madam Gin Sling), John Flaw (bad Chang), Sloane Smith (Woody), James Toczyl (Shangri La idol), Flynn Witmeyer (Hank, Wuwu), Bonni Suval (Lottie Wu), Gabriel Ross (lovelorn Sebastian), Noah Haydon (Russian temptress Petrushka), Bruna Palmeiro, Diego Gomez, Jessica Finn, Bryn Laux (Whores), Rose Bobrick, Victoria Hibbert (Denizens), Steve Bolinger (Stewpot), and “Sweet Pam” Tent (Mrs. Goldberg, the insufficient chaperone). All together, this cast is a well-oiled, eye-popping, immoral machine of hysteria. My only complaint is the dearth of weenies waving in the wind, as in the old Cockette days. I mean, consider the first syllable of their name, for gawd’s sake! Anyway, go see this delicious show and rock out with your Cockette out! thrillpeddlers.com

THE LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER’s annual fundraising soiree, A JAZZ TRIBUTE TO SF’S BEAT GENERATION, at City View at the Metreon, will feature a hosted bar, gourmet morsels, music, dancing, and live entertainment. Saturday, April 5th, 8pm to midnight, VIP reception: 6:30 to 8pm. It will be a bohemian, jazz-filled night that gives beatniks, hipsters, poets, and romantics the opportunity to celebrate and support all the ways in which the Center inspires our community to be stronger, healthier, and more fabulous. sfcenter.org

LESBIAN/GAY CHORUS OF SAN FRANCISCO joins with CITY SWING to present SWING BREAK, two sparkling evenings of singing and big band jazz on Friday and Saturday, April 11th and 12th, 7:30 pm. The Mission Cultural Center, 2868 Mission Street, will be magically transformed to resemble a Hollywood supper club of old. lgcsf.org or call 415-779-5428415-779-5428

EQUALITY CALIFORNIA is proud to honor two City and County of San Francisco officials, Barbara Garcia and Dennis Herrera at the SAN FRANCISCO EQUALITY AWARDS, Saturday, April 12th, 6pm cocktail reception, 7pm dinner, 9pm after-party, the Palace Hotel, 2 New Montgomery Street. Music by Frenchie Davis of TV’s American Idol. eqcaawards.org

THE BIG GAY COMEDY SHOW is a fun fundraiser for RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION on April 13th at the Marines’ Memorial Theater, 609 Sutter Street. It’s a queer musical and standup comedy treat with a dozen of your favorite funny faggy friends. richmondermet.org

THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE are getting ready for Easter. Magnet (at 18th and Castro) will host a small ARCHIVE EXHIBITION/CELEBRATION at 7-9Pm on April 17 with a short program – so let the Holy Thursday commence! Later at 10pm, we’re putting on a show at the Edge bar, COOKIE DOUGH MONSTER SHOW: HOLY BROADWAY! with music from these Heavenly Broadway Musicals: Book Of Mormon, Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell, Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and Sister Act. Sister Dana is rumored to perform along with his fellow nuns. And SPI 35TH ANNIVERSARY EASTER IN GOLDEN GATE PARK is the following Sunday. More info on that in the next issue.

SISTER BARBI MITZVAH’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE will be held at the MCC Church on April 12th. Doors open, 5:30pm with the event starting at 6pm sharp. Dress theme = wear her favorite habit color of pink. thesisters.org

Wells Fargo and SHANTI PROJECT present their 13th anniversary fundraiser, DOUBLE DOWN FOR SHANTI, on April 12th, 3-6pm at the City Club of San Francisco, 155 Sansome Street, for casino games, cocktails, entertainment, silent auction, and a short inspirational program. All proceeds directly benefit Shanti’s Margot Murphy Breast Cancer Program, which provides care navigation, advocacy, emotional support, and health and wellness activities for 500 women with breast cancer annually. shanti.org

Sister Dana sez, “Fred is Dead! Is it wrong to thank God that vile homophobic preacher Fred ‘God Hates Fags’ Phelps is dead and gone? Maybe I’ll let Nathan Phelps, his son, speak: ‘Fred Phelps is now the past. Unfortunately, Fred’s ideas have not died with him, but live on, not just among the members of Westboro Baptist Church, but among the many communities and small minds that refuse to recognize the equality and humanity of our brothers and sisters on this small planet we share. I will mourn his passing, not for the man he was, but for the man he could have been.’ Sister Dana sez, Amen!”