Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

Sister Dana sez, “In the agreement to end the government shutdown, a Budget Conference Committee was set up to find a ‘long-term budget agreement.’ The committee is meeting in the coming days, and already the Repugnicans are ramping up to push for cuts to earned benefits like Social Security. As majorities of Americans in states from Kentucky to Texas agree, the real answer to helping solve economic inequality in America is to expand Social Security for generations to come – not cut it!” 

We’re not a political football to be kicked around the field; but speaking of football, special guest NFL punter Chris Kluwe appeared along with NATIONAL CENTER FOR LESBIAN RIGHTS Executive Director Kate Kendell and Senior Legislative and Policy Strategist Geoff Kors at Infusion Lounge for the MEN’S EVENT NIGHT NCLR fundraiser. Kors spoke of the triumphs NCLR has helped to accomplish regarding the banning of homophobic gay reparative therapy in California. The evil ones sued the decision, but the 9th circuit ruled it was unconstitutional. NCLR also worked with New Jersey and got Governor Chris Christie to sign the bill. “It seems every day we get another call for help to introduce a similar bill in their state,” said Kors. He introduced Kendell, joking, “It’s really great to be a lesbian and have a lesbian boss like Kate.”

Kendell introduced Kluwe, calling him a hero with a true act of courage. “This really is a human rights issue, and if we want to live in a country where I am free to live my life, everyone else has to be free to live their lives,” said Kluwe. “It boils down to treating others the way you’d like to be treated. By oppressing others, we are sowing our own seeds of destruction. If my daughters want to bring a boy home to go to prom, that’s great. If they want to bring a girl, that’s great. If they want to bring a transgender person, that’s great. That is their life to live. We all have to speak up and say something about [homophobia].” He quoted 1800 philosopher Edmund Burke: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Kluwe explained he used “bad language” to counter the supposed “good language” but hateful speech of Burns. He concluded, “We all have to look out for each other. Keep doing great work!”

Kendell then presented an award to Kluwe, an engraved dog-tag reading “Total Bad Ass Award.” She mentioned on sale as an additional fundraiser were “Official Lustful C**k Monster” tee shirts, signed by Kluwe.

PROJECT NUNWAY: DISSIDENT FUTURES by THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE and founded by Sister Baba Ganesh was a flawless fashion forward fundraiser at Yerba Buena Art Center featuring nun models showing off their designers’ haute couture formed from recycled materials. Futuristic fierceness! The fifth annual show was excellently emceed by Sister Roma and by Jane Wiedlin of Go-Gos fame. Pandora Boxx and Honey Mahogany performed perfectly and helped judge. There was even a roving nun robot taking confessions. You know that Sister Dana worked the runway like a stuck-up supermodel (smell HER!).

I was fortunate to catch the closing night of DIRTY LITTLE SHOWTUNES at NCTC, the extremely clever musical written by witty parodist Tom Orr. As the title suggests, it was an evening of Broadway’s famous tunes set with queerified new lyrics and boasting many costume changes from sweater to leather to drag. It opened parodying the lines from A Funny Thing Happened…Forum: “comedy tomorrow; parody tonight!” My favorite had to have been “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Gonorrhea” to the Sound of Music tune, with Orr as a nun and Rotimi Agbabiaka the other nun bemoaning their STDs. My other fave was the Wizard of Oz trio – David Bicha as the cowardly lion, Jesse Cortez as the tin man, and Randy Noak as the scarecrow. The quintet was superb in every role, including leather drag queens dancing with mucho macho leathermen. Don’t miss this when it comes back to town!

THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE, INC. presented their annual CHILDREN’S HALLOWEEN at Eureka Valley Rec Center late H’ween afternoon. This traditional values event was emceed by Sister Selma Soul with entertainment by magician clown Cortez the Magnificent. Sister Dana, Guard St. Bernard, and Guard ‘n O’Pansies judged the little kiddles in three categories: scariest, animal, and princess, with the grand prize to the most creative, which was taken by a miniature faux queen in her best DQ getup. There were all sorts of games, and afterwards we nuns led the children up and down Castro Street in a lively costume parade – where many a shopkeeper had treats to put in their special Halloween trick or treat bags. Soooo adorable!

GRASS ROOTS GAY RIGHTS WEST, producers of the annual REAL BAD fundraising party that follows EssEff’s world-renowned Folsom Street Fair, announced the results from REAL BAD XXV, which was held on September 29, raising $300,000 for worthy beneficiary organizations that create local impact in the Bay Area. Two million dollars has been donated to community organizations over the event’s 25-year history. Sixteen LGBTQ health and community service organizations are sharing the funds raised this year: Aguilas, Alliance Health Project (AHP), Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) Network, GLBT Historical Society, Huckleberry Youth Programs, Lambda Legal Defense Fund, Lyon-Martin Women’s Health Center, Men’s Inner Journey / The Gateway, National AIDS Memorial Grove, Openhouse, Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS), Queer LifeSpace, SF Suicide Prevention, SF LGBT Community Center, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and Transgender Law Center.

KREWE de KINQUE, the queer/queer-friendly Mardi Gras social/charitable club founded in 2004 in EssEff to raise awareness and funds for charity, held our every-first-Wednesday FULL MOON PARTY fundraiser at The Edge bar, where it mattered not what phase the actual moon was in; because it was all about the bare ass contest in which some lucky a-hole always wins a $100 prize. The pageant was emceed by Grand Duke and KdK King X Kippy Marks and judged by KdK Queen VII Sister Dana, Mr. Edge Leather Patrick Dean Holstine, and KdK Founder King I Gary Virginia. Contestants compete in three categories: best answer to probing questions, best poise, and – of course – best derriere. RJ was the winner as Mr. Bare Butt November, which we all “gave thanks for” as that holiday was just around the corner. sfkinque.com for more info.

In loving memory of our dear brother, we announce Imperial Grand Baron ARTHUR HURWITH passed peacefully from this life on October 14th. Bestowed his permanent title in 1984 by Emperor XI Tattoo Jim, Arthur became a noble member of the Imperial Family and for over three decades devoted much of his life in the service of others, with much of his work in recent years devoted to Senior Care Services for the gracefully aging LGBTQ community of San Francisco.

CUMMING UP!

Come join the LESBIAN/GAY CHORUS OF SAN FRANCISCO as they open their 34th season with WE CELEBRATE!, an elegant evening of music honoring the lives of Matthew Shepard, Harvey Milk, and Benjamin Britten, on Saturday, November 16th, 7pm at the First Unitarian Universalist Church, 1187 Franklin Street. Tickets are $20 general admission, with a special $10 rate for students and seniors, at lgcsf.org or brownpapertickets.com.

Across the globe, TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE (TDOR) on November 20th will memorialize transgender and gender nonconforming people who have been killed as a result of transphobia, violence and prejudice. Started by Gwendolyn Ann Smith in response to the murder of Rita Hester in Alliston, MA, in 2009, TDOR highlights the need for awareness around anti-transgender violence by holding in silent testimony the names of those lost. TDOR will be held at the SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market Street. transgenderdor.org.

You can still catch FRIENDS LIVE: “the one where everybody’s in drag” at Rebel. It’s the all drag queen/king reenactment of two Friends sitcom classics starring Darcy Drollinger as perennially perky Rachel, Heklina as kooky, goofy Phoebe, Steven Lemay as always anal retentive Monica, Gerri Lawlor as her whiny, weepy, painfully shy brother Ross, Leigh Crow as flirtatious (“how YOU doin’?!”) Joey, and Nancy French as jolly, overdramatic Chandler. Two shows nightly at Rebel, 1760 Market at Octavia, every Thursday, 7pm and 9pm through November 21st. In Act One you will discover how the friends all met at Central Perk coffee shop. The show begins with a video takeoff on the opening park fountain scene and theme song. Ross has just lost his wife of four years to a lesbian. Rachel has just fled from her intended groom at the altar. Monica takes a risk at being spontaneous and impulsive. Joey is the proverbial flirt trying to break into a good acting gig. In Act Two, Monica forces slightly fatter Ross to jog and lose weight. Phoebe, everybody’s earth mother, sings her original guitar number, “Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat – It’s Not Your Fault” and even does a video that goes somewhat amiss vocally. The love between Ross and Rachel is constantly tested. The horribly heinously hideous laugh of Janice erupts. And friends fight and make up, as true friends often do.

Tired of your “sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot” of a boss? Don’t get your L’eggs pantyhose in a twist as PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS proudly presents the classic ‘80s comedy NINE TO FIVE with the world premiere of the live, stage show WORK! featuring hostess with the mostess Peaches Christ, San Francisco legend Heklina, and Rupaul’s Drag Race/Rupaul’s Drag U” sensation, Pandora Boxx.  Grab a pencil and prepare to take a “memo” at the Castro Theater on November 23rd, 8pm. Tix and info: peacheschrist.com.

AMALUNA, the latest edition of CIRQUE DU SOLEIL, has its SF engagement November 13 – December 31 at AT&T Park. The audience is invited to a mysterious island governed by Goddesses and guided by the cycles of the moon. Their queen, Prospera, directs her daughter’s coming-of-age ceremony in a rite that honors femininity, renewal, rebirth, and balance – which marks the passing of these insights and values from one generation to the next. In the wake of a storm caused by Prospera, a group of young men lands on the island, triggering an epic, emotional story of love between Prospera’s daughter and a brave young suitor. But theirs is a love that will be put to the test. The couple must face numerous demanding trials and overcome daunting setbacks before they can achieve mutual trust, faith and harmony. cirquedusoleil.com.

Pornucopia: flick pick of the week is Diversion from titanmen.com – for the diverse perv.

Sister Dana sez, “As a major sponsor of the Olympics, Coca-Cola is under growing pressure to speak out against Russia’s anti-gay laws; but if thousands of us send them emails, they could see this is a huge threat to Coca-Cola’s fun, friendly image and finally do something. Check out allout.org/coca-cola!”