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    The Language of Love

    Bonita and Annie are a Christian couple who have been together for over 20 years. Both women are active in the equality movement and suggested we all 3 collaborate in writing their ceremony so it would truly represent them and how they live their life together. After their final edit, it was deeply moving and powerful.

    Here is part of the Welcome from their wedding:

    “We gather today in community to acknowledge and honor the celebration of holy matrimony of Bonita and Annie. They have already created a union of their two lives into one over their many years together and indeed, have celebrated their union with a ceremony of commitment some years ago. Yet, as this commitment and their spiritual life have grown even deeper in recent years, our society has also struggled towards true justice and equality for all. And so Bonita and Annie came to realize that they desire to formalize their marriage with this wedding, blessed by God and recognized by the state. Bonita and Annie, as people of faith, believe in creating an all-inclusive beloved community where all people are treated equally, able to enter into a mutually loving covenant blessed by the church and sanctioned by the state with the person they love.  And their union serves a greater purpose than their own authenticity and truth: it is also a model for the greater community of people everywhere who suffer from inequality and discrimination.”

    And part of the Homily:

    “Bonita and Annie, regarding marriage, you have, of course, been married for 22 years. Your marriage is an outgrowth of your deep daily practice of being in loving committed relationship, whatever comes. And now this marriage is a reaffirmation of your love and your strong relationship. You deserve to be married. You are a family and are committed to one another, forever. You shall make your marriage legal, a part of the cultural recognition of who you are as a married couple. And you spoke of how it has not been easy, building this family over the past 22 years, raising young children against a lot of odds. Indeed your marriage stands and will stand on two levels: the personal and the societal. You are passionate, courageous women of faith, and you stand strong together in your love, your commitment, and the support of your family and beloved community.”

    Finally, I want to quote this beautiful statement which Bonita made, and which I sense is at the heart of your spiritual journey together as a couple:

    “God loves us and puts love in our hearts, and then we share that love with others.”

    The very last part of their Statement of Intention:

    “Know that the world will ask you to deny her a million times. Know also that denial of your love for her or of any part of either soul, is a denial of God.

    This is both God’s blessing and charge to you: to live together with honor, courage, and honesty. Do you agree?”

    Together they said, “We do!”

    Rev. Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit marincoastweddings.com