By Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis–
I still remember the first time I visited Thailand, now over 40 years ago. I was on my way back to the U.S. after working as a teacher in a camp in the rural Philippines for refugees from the wars in Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. After spending a few days in Bangkok, a fellow teacher and I visited the Ban Vanai camp for Hmong refugees, who had to flee neighboring Laos. It was one of a number of camps in Thailand that housed refugees from the wars. The trip took us to the remote village of Chiang Khan, located along the banks of the Mekong in Loei province in Northeast Thailand. It was there that I fell in love with Thai culture and people.
I recall staying at the town’s sole guest house, which was rumored to be haunted; I found it, as well as the entire region and its people, to be quite the opposite: magical. I spent a couple days cycling to nearby towns, Buddhist temples, and monasteries, some of which were partially housed in caves. I was struck by the grace and ease with which people seemed to be living with few material comforts. I remember coming upon a verdant rice field where four family members were engaged in the back-breaking work of planting rice by hand in flooded paddies on their small farm. When they saw me, they looked up, and the smiles on their welcoming faces exuded genuine joy.
Of course, the lives of people in Loei entailed pain and suffering, but the manner in which they lived life was something to treasure. Perhaps it’s no surprise that Ajahn Chah, the renowned Buddhist monk of the minimalist Thai Forest tradition, established his monastery in another remote part of Northeast Thailand. Many of Ajahn Chah’s students were instrumental in bringing the practice of mindfulness to the West and other parts of the world. After leaving Loei, I traveled to the ruins of Sukhothai, the 13th century capital of the Kingdom of Siam, with its monumental Buddha statutes still standing in silhouette against the sky. In the Thai language, Sukhothai means “the dawn of happiness.”
Pure joy and happiness dawned again in Thailand some 800 years later on January 23, 2025, the first day of marriage equality across the country. Over 1,800 LGBTIQ couples wed that day nationwide, with 185 couples tying the knot over the course of the day at a euphoric community celebration at the aptly named Siam Paragon shopping mall in the heart of the city. Thai megastars Arm Sappanyoo and Porsch Apiwat, famed actors in popular Boys Love films, wed after over a decade together. Sappanyoo exclaimed that now “we can love, we love equally, legally,” and Apiwat declared that “every kind of love, every kind of family, is beautiful as it is.”
Political leaders echoed the sentiments of LGBTIQ couples. Thai Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra greeted those gathered at Siam Paragon from overseas via video, and later exulted on Facebook: “The rainbow flag is flying high over Thailand.” Former Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, who played a pivotal role in achieving the legislative victories that made the day possible, led an exuberant parade of newlyweds. Without mentioning the American president by name, Srettha contrasted the love that was radiating throughout Thailand with Trump’s narrow-minded “two genders only” policy, observing simply: “I believe our heart is bigger.”
Bangkok Governor Chadchart Sittipunt echoed the former Prime Minister’s sentiments. He conveyed the broader positive implications of ending marriage discrimination against LGBTIQ couples in the country, telling the BBC that “it reflects an inclusive society, not just in terms of marriage, but also in our beliefs, cultures, and religions.”
Our deepest bows go to all the LGBTIQ Thai activists, advocates, and allies who for decades undertook the social and political equivalent of the backbreaking work of the rice farmers in Loei. Like the farmers who carefully planted the rice in the soil so that it could grow into sources of sustenance, these activists built and sustained a movement that has improved the lives of countless people and continues the struggle for full LGBTIQ equality and acceptance in Thailand today.
Fifteen years after my first trip to Thailand, Stuart and I visited the country as part of an 8-month backpacking trip across Asia. Bangkok had changed dramatically over the previous decade and a half. We stayed at a concrete guest house in Bang Lamphu. It was 1998, the year that the movie Titanic was a global cinematic sensation. With our hotel windows wide open to try to get relief from the muggy Bangkok heat, we were jarred awake at the crack of dawn one morning by the booming voice of Celine Dion belting out My Heart Will Go On, blasting from a nearby speaker somewhere outside our guest house. Dion’s singing at the top of her lungs reverberated against the surrounding buildings, amplifying the volume even more. In our early morning stupor, it seemed as if Dion’s voice would go on and on and on.
And now, over a quarter century later, we celebrate the depth, breadth, and enduring nature of the Thai heart. As LGBTIQ Americans facing the adversity of the second Trump administration, we must take time to savor victories for queer love, not just as a salve for our troubles, but as a victory in its own right for the people of Thailand and the global movement.
John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.
6/26 and Beyond
Published on February 13, 2025
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