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    Reacting Isn’t Responding

    Reacting Isn’t Responding

    Tom Moon, MFT Are human beings basically good or bad? My colleague, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, believes that science can answer this age-old question. He points out: “When the body is…

    Accepting Vulnerability

    Accepting Vulnerability

    Ted was one of the few people of color in the small midwestern town where he grew up. He was also gay, and was targeted because of it even before he…

    How Should We Speak to Each Other? Three Guidelines

    How Should We Speak to Each Other? Three Guidelines

    Tom Moon, MFT (Editor’s Note: This is the third and final article of the series, “How Should We Speak to Each Other?”) Rubin and his partner Alan, the couple I’ve…

    How Should We Talk to Each Other? First Step: Remember Intentions

    How Should We Talk to Each Other? First Step: Remember Intentions

    Tom Moon, MFT Rubin and his partner Alan are trying to resuscitate their dying relationship by doing couples counseling. Rubin begins this week’s session with a long, angry monologue detailing…

    My Pumpkin Spice Latte Syndrome

    My Pumpkin Spice Latte Syndrome

    My friend David recently told me, “My pumpkin spice latte syndrome is back.” He was referring to the fact that every year, just about the time his coffee shop starts…

    Surviving Unrequited Love

    Surviving Unrequited Love

    By Tom Moon, MFT Q: I regularly see a man in a gay so­cial organization to which we both belong, and he pushes all my buttons. He is friendly to…

    Injustice Collectors

    Injustice Collectors

    Some of the unhappiest people I’ve ever met are “injustice collectors,” an evocative phrase that most of us intuitively understand as soon as we hear it. Injustice collectors ruminate continually…

    Automatic Thoughts

    Automatic Thoughts

    Henry unexpectedly came home from work two hours early. Instead of giving him a friendly greeting, his partner Andy glared at him in silence and walked away. Henry was confused…

    Making Peace with the Past 1: REACHing for Forgiveness

    Making Peace with the Past 1: REACHing for Forgiveness

    It’s a truism that if we want to be happy in the present, we need to find some measure of acceptance and peace in relation to the pain and disappointments…

    The Story of ‘Me’

    The Story of ‘Me’

    How many of us know who we really are? After more than thirty-five years as a psychotherapist, I’ve come to believe that genuine self-awareness is relatively rare. It seems that,…