Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

danaSister Dana Sez, “There’s been a lot of talk about whether Congress will pass a budget by the end of this month – or instead, as some Repugnicans have called for, let the government shut down. A shutdown would mean nearly all federal programs – and the people they work for – would suffer. This means delayed military pay and veterans’ benefits; Head Start centers and Meals on Wheels programs shut; and delayed applications for new Social Security enrollments and loans for students and small businesses. Shutting down the government will hurt the American people. But not the Almighty One Percent. They’ll be just fine.”

Recently, marriage equality activists joined Senator Mark Leno in the Eureka Valley Recreation Center auditorium in honoring Kristen Perry and Sandy Stier, 2013 LGBT Caucus Pride Honorees and plaintiffs in the Proposition 8 Supreme Court case. Among the attendees were Senator Phil Ting, Board President Supervisor David Chiu, Supervisor Scott Weiner, Supervisor Malia Cohen, John Lewis, Stuart Gaffney, Brian Davis, Ted Guggenheim, Zoe Dunning, Rafael Mandelman, Dan Nicoletta, Audrey Joseph, and Anna Damiani. Leno presented a framed Certificate of Recognition from the California Legislative LGBT Caucus to Perry and Stier, commending them “for their generous and tireless work in the LGBT community.”  “We’ve all been engaged in the fight for marriage equality,” said Leno, but especially recognized those two plaintiffs. “You two truly put a human face on this important issue,” he added.

THE FAUX QUEEN PAGEANT is an only-in-EssEff drag glamour contest – founded by Diet Popstitute and Ruby Toosday in 1995, continued by the KLUBSTiTUTE KOLLECTiVE until 2005, and reintroduced by title holder Bea Dazzler in 2012. This contest is for drag queens trapped in real girl’s bodies, so the makeup, wigs, costumes, and talent have to be waaaaay over the top! Held at Slims, the pageant was a benefit for W.O.M.A.N. INC. (Women Organized to Make Abuse Nonexistent – womaninc.org), Mickaboo companion parrot rescue (mickaboo.org), and SaveABunny (saveabunny.org). This year, Bea Dazzler teamed up with the performer, model, entertainer L. Ron Hubby to bring us this fractured fairy tale event (where the princess rescues herself with her own happy ending) during which candidates competed with a “Sisters Grimm” theme. Femceed by Heklina of the famed Trannyshack club and 2000 FQP title holder Windy Plains, contestants contended in two categories: the Fairy Tale Couture fashion walk, and the Talent Competition. Audience members picked their favorite performer for a special Audience Favorite Prize with points granted with each dollar tipped, all of which went to the beneficiaries). Celebrity judges were drag cultural envoy Holy McGrail, fearless performer Trixxxie Carr, FQP 2012 winner Lady Satan, Kegel Kator, Brandi Amara Skyy, grand dame DQ Ruby Toosday, Martiny, and the Glama-rama’s maven of style Deena Davenport.

Contestants in order of performing were Frida K-Hole, Agorafauxbia, Anita Fallace, Hazzard Strange, Bonersaurus Rex, Princess Cream Pie, Queen C, Vesper Synd, Gurleen, and Cara Couture. The winner was Cara Couture, who said her rightful throne had been stolen by a hot mess usurper when she was too young to “werk” (or was that “twerk??). She had placed in last year’s FQP. This Queen of Thrones became Mother of Drag(ons) after an impressive swordfight with nasty knights to “Break the Door Down.” First runner-up was Hazzard Strange, who showed a taste for all things bloody and glittery, lip-synching Christina Perri’s “Jar of Hearts” with a very gory finish. Second runner-up was Gurleen, who secretly always wanted to push a queen off the stage and take the spotlight herself. She was “Little Red Riding Hood” who handily slaughtered all the wolves. This was also the stepping down of FQ2012 Lady
Satan, whose swan song was a mash-up of Rihanna’s “Shine Bright Like a Diamond” and Shirley Bassey’s “Diamonds Are Forever.” Stunning!

CUMMING UP!

The annual FOLSOM STREET FAIR is like nothing else in the world. With nearly 400,000 of your closest kinky friends spread out over 13 city blocks of adult entertainment, this is an “only in San FranCrisco” experience to be sure. Sunday, September 29th, from 11am to 6:30pm, located on historic Folsom Street (from 7th to 12th Streets – and all streets in between), leather and fetish players from all over the world converge. FSF features over 200 exhibitor booths selling fetish gear and toys, a massive live stage, two huge dance areas spinning underground dance, public play stations, and an enhanced erotic artists’ area. Yes, you can still be legally naked. For more enjoyment, you are encouraged to dress in leather or feathers or fetish wear or something freeeeaky!

Main stage offers a hugely impressive line-up with headliners Hercules and Love Affair with classic disco and house anthems; and Miami Horror with influences from dance-pop artists of the 1970’s and 1980’s and progressive rock acts; as well as Light Asylum with 1980’s music, especially the works by the likes of Grace Jones and Alison Moyet. Other indie and electronic artists from around the world and here at home include Aiden James (New York); VixenNoir (California); Pepperspray (California); Heloise & the Savoir Faire (Vermont); and Icky Blossoms (Oklahoma). DJ Rotten Robbie will serve as the Main Stage DJ. Now where’d I put my leather habit?!

But one week before Folsom Fair is the 22ND ANNUAL LEATHERWALK on September 22 benefiting the AIDS Emergency Fund and the Breast Cancer Emergency Fund, produced by Sandy “Mama” Reinhardt and Founder Art Tomaszewski, sponsored by mamasfamily.org and Folsom Street Events. Registration is 10:30am at 440 Castro. Last year they raised over $20,000! The festivities begin with the 13th annual raising of The Leather Pride Flag over Harvey Milk Plaza at Market and Castro, noon sharp, and The Walk starts right afterwards going down Market Street. You may carry your club banners, colors, etc. You don’t have to wear leather to join us.

AIDS EMERGENCY FUND turns 31 at the Armory with LEATHER AND FEATHERS hosted by Donna Sachet and Sister Roma with special performance by Billboard recording artist, Brian Kent. Thursday, September 26, 6 to 9pm, The Armory at KINK.com, 1800 Mission Street. Tix at aef-sf.org/31. 

Ever wonder how Chuck Palahniuk came up with the idea for Fight Club’s secret society of recreational fighters? Or how a giant wooden “Man” ended up on fire in the desert, inspiring one of the world’s most radical gatherings? Welcome to THE CACOPHONY SOCIETY, an underground group of pranksters whose culture-jamming antics have helped shape the contemporary zeitgeist for the past three decades, including flash mobs and SantaCon. Check out some society spinoffs including bartending robots from RoboGames, a blessing from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, “Hugging Machines” from artist Kal Spelletich, Art Cars, Doggie Diner heads, video shorts, and more! Castro Theatre, 6:30-7:30pm premium reception, 7:30pm program, general admission: $25 non-members, $15 members; priority seating with book (includes copy of Tales of the San Francisco Cacophony Society and seating in Rows F-J). commonwealthclub.org/events.

TRANSGENDER LAW CENTER will celebrate 11 years of igniting change at their anniversary gala at Sir Francis Drake on Thursday, October 3rd with SPARK. Mistress of Ceremonies is Tita Aida, with entertainment provided by Josh Klipp and the Klipptones and Fresh Meat Productions. VIP reception at 6pm, award ceremony at 7. transgenderlawcenter.org/spark.

My adult flick pick is Hole 2, the sequel to – what else but – Hole from ragingstallion.com.

EXPERIMENTS IN FINDING INNER PEACE is the latest art exhibition now on display at Magnet – the health and wellbeing hub in the Castro – with photographs on heavyweight matte coated paper by MIKE OJEDA. My favorite was #7 “Dressing,” because it took me back to the days when Sister Dana used whiteface base makeup (now I just slap paint over my face), and this guy is obviously getting ready to go clubbing (or maybe just going out as a clown). Ojeda says his work “is created through a process of observation of social interaction, having a fascination with how people build individual environments in order to feel safe.”

Sister Dana sez, “I am sad that openly lesbian Christine Quinn was not able to break through the Big Apple mayoral glass ceiling, but wish progressive NYC Democrat Bill deBlasio luck in the race, and am really hopeful we don’t have to see Weiner’s wiener anymore.”