Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun–
By Sister Dana Van Iquity–
Sister Dana sez, “Thoughts and prayers are lovely after mass shootings, but 65% of Americans want stricter gun controls; and for heaven’s sake, no one needs a military assault weapon to protect themselves!”
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence celebrated our 42nd anniversary, RISE UP WITH THE SISTERS, virtually from the Folsom Street Event studio on Easter Sunday with glorious entertainment co-emceed by the dynamic duo of Honey Mahogany & Alex U. Inn. Performances were by Fudgie Frottage, Mutha Chucka, Kylie Minono, KaiKai Bee Michaels, Rexy MariaAlicia Tapia, Madd Dogg 20/20 & Miss Shugana, Nick Marshall, and BeBe Sweetbriar. That wrapped up with our three cherished contests judged by Sisters Roma, Celine Dionysus, Vina Sinfurrs, and me. MASK winner was Julie Frey, “Dirty Mask” lady with the phallic carrot and bunny face. FOXY MARY winner was “Mary Blessed F**ker of COVID.” HUNKY JESUS winner was “Oh Sweet Jesus!”
On March 21, the IMPERIAL COUNCIL OF SAN FRANCISCO, INC. with TMIM Emperor William Bulkley and Empress Mimi Osa presented virtually the ANNUAL IMPERIAL GALA. We were introduced to the official candidates for the office of Emperor and Empress of San Francisco: Ehra Amaya and Juanita MORE! for Empress and Mr. David Glamamore unopposed for Emperor. To date, I know that Juanita has helped to raise over $900,000 for local charities—among them GBLT Historical Society & Archives, Our Trans Youth, Q Foundation, Queer Lifespace, Transgender Law Center, and more. The Gala was hosted by the always delightful Absolute Empress 54 de San Francisco, Baby Shaques Munro. There were supreme performances by the reigning titleholders of the Court of the Majestic Golden Gate, and Five-Year Anniversary Monarch Celebrants, with a special shout-out from me to Empress 51 Emma Peel singing live “Cabaret” with such flair and gusto!
Emperor William Bulkley explained the theme of CORONATION 56, “Get Lit,” as the power of great literature (and here you thought it meant “get drunk”! Ha.). Actually, the entire theme is “Get Lit: A Novel Idea.” He read dramatic passages from Shakespeare and Giovovanni’s Room to show a bit of lit class. And Empress Mimi Osa gave us a humorous purposely very bad Zoom edition of a screwed-up video greeting—complete with blips, pixilation, and out-of-sync production values. However, Drand Duchess Katherine Rose pulled off the entire Gala production to perfection behind the scenes. Voting day will be April 17. You must be a resident of SF, Marin, or San Mateo County with valid photo ID as proof of residency to vote. Not quite as restrictive as the Repugnicans. One vote per person. Results revealed at Coronation 56 on Saturday, April 24. http://www.imperialcouncilsf.org/
It should be noted that the 21-year-old Colorado man (I refuse to acknowledge this monster’s name) who opened fire inside a Boulder King Soopers supermarket posted homophobic content on social media in the years leading up to his murderous rampage.
To celebrate the 10th anniversary of the opening of the GLBT HISTORICAL SOCIETY MUSEUM and the 36th anniversary of the GLBT HISTORICAL SOCIETY’s foundation, the society hosted a challenging LGBTQ history trivia evening on March 26. A brain-boggling game was co-hosted by Nick Large (in an impressive amount of costume changes), member of the GLBT Historical Society Board of Directors, and Andrew Shaffer, director of development and communications. Special guests included Senator Scott Wiener (speaking of the museum’s very earliest beginnings), Isaac Fellman, Nalini Elias, and Executive Director Terry Beswick (giving us the history of the history museum). We participants got to mix and mingle with other queer history buffs and show off our knowledge (or lack thereof) of our vast queer past. The top-scoring teams won fabulous prizes, including a private museum tour, complimentary memberships, and limited-edition merchandise. My team did not win. But we certainly had a ball! https://tinyurl.com/ywkb38bd
It was our annual KREWE DE KINQUE’s BAL MASQUE XVIII, with the theme, “On The Radio,” held in front of Poesia cafe and Tilly’s Castro Stitchery in the Castro. This was also a fundraiser for Q FOUNDATION, providing housing help to seniors, disabled adults, HIV+ renters, families, and those impacted by COVID-19. I had the honor of being in the VIP section seated alongside Donna Sachet; headliner singer/songwriter Carly Ozard; the newly sainted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and current reigning Emperor William Bulkley; and his husband, the incredible photographer Garaje Gooch (the latter two graciously escorting this drunken nun safely to his domicile).Beginning Act I, we were welcomed by founder, Krewe de Kinque I & Ball Captain Gary Virginia, who introduced reigning Krewe de Kinque King XVII Omar Kubian & Queen XVII Diana Wheeler. KDK member Aaron Priskorn performed the “National Anthem.” We were given a command performance by headliner Ozard of “Let Love Rain Down.” Grand Marshal Renel Brooks-Moon (P.A. announcer for SF Giants) proudly led us kooky krazed krewe in the Second Line Parade up and down and up and down again 18th Street.
ACT 2 began with KDK Queen II Deana Dawn doing “Lovely Day”; KDK Member Christina Ashton with “Take Me Home”; KDK Member Olivia Hart with “MacArthur Park”; KDK King X Kippy Marks on electric violin with “Dancing Queen”; KDK Queen XV Miss Chief doing ” I Rise Up”; KDK Member Tawdry Hepburnn with “Young Hearts Run Free”; KDK King VII John Weber (who reigned gloriously with moi, Queen VII Sister Dana) doing a medley of “Cold, Cold World”, “Get Up, Get Down,” and “Get Funky, Get Loose”; KDK Queen XVI Kelly Rose with “Knock On Wood” and “I’m Coming Out”; and KDK Queen XIII Garza summing up the motto of Krewe de Kinque to perfection with “We Are Family!”
Act 3 began with the official Step Down of KDK King XVII Omar Kubian & KDK Queen XVII Diana Wheeler and the Crowning of KDK King XVIII & Queen XVIII: All Hail the King and Queen! There was a second Command Performance by Carly Ozard with our theme, “On The Radio.” And the Tableaux Finale was led by KDK King X Kippy Marks with what else but Donna Summer‘s “Last Dance.” Everyone was anticipating the secret long held and now is revealed as the new Krewe de Kinque Queen XVIII Christina Ashton & Krewe de Kinque King XVIII Colby Michaels. King Colby later told me, “This KDK reign will be about love, compassion, and stirring up ‘good trouble’.”
Sister Dana sez, “If President Biden is gonna accomplish his agenda, we gotta bust the filibuster!”
MUSEUM OF BAD ART (MOBA) has over 600 pieces of “art too bad to be ignored.” The museum I checked out was “MOBA Zoo” on March 24, which was all about the animals. Mike Frank was our clever curator and narrator. Added to his extremely humorous patter were the bizarre sound effects. Go browse this awful awesome art! http://museumofbadart.org/
Sister Dana sez, “The massive ship that blocked the Suez Canal should be renamed the SS Senator McConnell, because no other has blocked so much passage for so long!”
THEATRE RHINOCEROS gave us perfect PANDEMIC PERFORMANCES on April 2, Good Friday, hosted by Jesús U. Bettawork and Kim Larsen. This was a really entertaining evening of short video clips celebrating the creative output of Bay Area LGBTQ talent typical of Theatre Rhino. The fun fundraiser had an amazing lineup including (in alphabetical order) Lili Argüello, Tanika Baptiste, Leanne Borghesi, Cookie Cutter, Robby Kendall, Gino Lucas & William Hester, Matthew Martin, Jerry Metager/Ms. Vicky, Nitrix Oxide, Peaches Christ, Piranha, The Quarantine Singers, Raya Light, Tom Shaw, Stan Stone, Michael Vega, and Erin-Kate Whitcomb. With special appearances by Lea DeLaria (Orange is the New Black), Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, Marga Gomez, Danny Scheie (Rhinoceros at ACT), and Darryl Stephens (Noah on Noah’s Arc, Boy Culture). It was a blast being in the chat room and getting shout-outs.
The hatred that has permeated the global community in 2020 has increased to unprecedented numbers. Amidst the continuing pandemic, violence against Asian and Pacific Islanders has increased nearly by 150% this year—and we’re not even to the halfway point. These attacks have targeted largely the community’s most vulnerable members: the elderly and the poor. To this end, a coalition of API nonprofits, including GAPA and inspired by Mocha Fapalatte, banded together to increase awareness of the issue. On April 3 at 1 pm in Jane Warner Plaza in San Francisco’s Castro District, the coalition gathered for RALLY AGAINST AAPI HATE, a lively demonstration to speak out against the violence plaguing the country.
SF LGBT CENTER will be holding its annual (but this year virtual) SOIRÉE on April 10, 6 pm. Join me and us Center fans for an extraordinary evening celebrating community! Together we will uplift the impact of the Center’s work and raise funds to expand its programs and services virtually. The SF LGBT Center connects our diverse community to opportunities, resources, and each other to achieve our vision of a stronger, healthier, and more equitable world for LGBTQ people and our allies. Co-hosted by Sister Roma & Liam Mayclem—featuring Juanita MORE!, Voodonna, Effervesence Jackson, and Tito Soto. https://www.sfcenter.org/
Sister Dana sez, “If FDR were alive today, every Republican Congress person would vote NO on his New Deal! What’s the deal with today’s RepubliCAN’Ts?!”
Published on April 8, 2021
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