Dr. Tim Seelig–
The holidays are here. Again.
Once upon a time, not so long ago and not far away, there was a holiday when holly jolly jingles were hard to come by. We did all the things, but we smiled through clenched teeth. That was holiday 2016. By December, we were still in shock at the election that had just happened. Along with a double eggnog, we vowed never to let that happen again.
Surprise and happy holidays, it did happen again. Here we are donning our gay apparel and wondering if we should tone it down a bit. But we’ll still commemorate, celebrate, and come together. We need the together. In December 2016, SFGMC (the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus) was already deep into planning for our tour to the Deep South to lift and inspire our siblings. We went to sing and give them courage. We sang about things getting better. Here we are again, clenching more than teeth.
But the holidays come around every year. We can’t change that. They provide an exciting time to look ahead and behind. The reminiscing happens because we have a little extra time to slow down. It also happens because our memories of holidays past come into focus as we celebrate once more. We remember special holidays—joyous and difficult. We mark the passing of friends and loved ones who are no longer with us at the holidays: “This is the 10th year Mom won’t be with us for Christmas.”
Rather than write about this upcoming holiday season, I thought it best to look in the rearview mirror. I did that by going back to see what I wrote in some of my December articles for the San Francisco Bay Times. The holiday article in 2014 was about, wait for it, the holidays. With good and bad, ups and downs, it’s been quite the wild sleigh ride. I’ll just hit a few highlights.
In 2014, SFGMC celebrated 25 years of Home for the Holidays at the historic Castro Theatre. The first one was Christmas Eve, December 24, 1990. It was at the peak of the AIDS pandemic. The chorus decided to rent the theater, open the doors, and sing for its big, hurting family. It grew and grew. The tradition has continued every year since then. SFGMC has missed only three years: 2020 and 2021, thanks to COVID; and 2024 due to the renovations of the Castro Theatre. Only missing three out of 35 isn’t bad.
World AIDS Day is not a holiday, but a hugely important day for all of us. December 1, 2018, marked the dedication of SFGMC’s Artist Portal at the National AIDS Memorial Grove (NAMG). This is a beautiful memorial to artists and warriors in the fight. It includes names of individuals and organizations across the country. John Cunningham, Executive Director of the NAMG said, “This project of love was inspired by the spirit of some of the most creative souls to walk beside us. The memorial has long stood as a space dedicated to heroes, for remembering those we loved, for honoring those who fought and survived, for reminding us of the force and resilience of community.”
As we celebrated in 2019, we were lucky not to know what lay just around the corner. We were just living on borrowed time, as it were. I challenged readers to make a list and check it twice. I suggested asking all your friends at your holiday parties to name the following: best gift, worst gift; best holiday, worst holiday, best holiday song, and worst holiday song (without using Mariah Carey). Extra credit was given for the worst regifting experience. The following holiday would be hands down the worst holiday ever.
Then the bottom fell out. We got to experience the second pandemic of our lives. December 2020. No live music! We learned a new acronym: SIP (Shelter in Place), and we did just that. We “celebrated” with a virtual holiday concert. We still pulled out all the stops and filmed segments outdoors. A group of singers filmed our signature “Silent Night” in masks at locations around town. The San Francisco Philharmonic filmed playing in the parking lot of Mission Dolores. The full chorus recorded pieces from our homes, putting them all together in The Brady Bunch (Hollywood Squares for elders) blocks. We did our best. We were desperate to be together and perform for an audience, but this was the best we could do. It was pretty darn good. We were literally at our own homes for the holidays.
By December 2021, we were back! We began rehearsing for holidays in August. We set up the chairs in rehearsal 6 feet apart. We sang in masks. Vaccinations were required. It wasn’t the same, but it was something. We performed our usual performances at the Nourse Theater, Greene Music Center, Freight & Salvage, and then started getting ready for our 3 sold-out Home for the Holidays shows at the Castro Theatre. Then, the worst possible thing happened. A few singers came down with COVID. Then a few more. And more. Less than a week before the Castro concerts, we had to cancel them. It was heartbreaking for everyone—singers and the 4000+ people who had already bought tickets. It was also my last holiday concert series as Artistic Director.
One year later, December 2022, I was done. It was over. What would the holidays be like for the first time not being involved with a Christmas production of some kind for 70 years? Don’t tell anyone, but it was heaven! Since I didn’t have a show to put on, I penned an article titled “Camels and Lasers and Loin Cloths, Oh My.” It was a romp through my first 35 years of putting on extravaganzas in mega Baptist churches. Best of all, being retired, I got to see five queer chorus holiday concerts! I now know why you all show up!
Here we are in 2024. Yes, we’re scared. Yes, we’re going through the motions. Sometimes, just doing that can be enough.
What shall we do in 2025? I think something new is called for: “Ask Dr. Tim.” You can ask anything (except medical questions—not that kind of Dr.). Just email your questions to askdrtims@gmail.com for a chance to get your answer in the newspaper! I’m excited to hear what’s on your mind!
Here’s to the holidays. Here’s to the beginning of a new year and new chapter. Try to unclench—at least for a bit.
Dr. Tim Seelig is the Conductor Laureate of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. http://www.timseelig.com/
TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation
Published on December 5, 2024
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