By Brandon Miller—
Two days before I closed on my new house, the bank called to say the loan wouldn’t fund until we had a working toilet. My contractor tapped into my Kentucky redneck roots, jerry-rigged a fix, sent the bank a video of it flushing, and we closed on schedule. I still don’t fully trust that toilet.
That kind of surprise comes standard with buying a house, no matter who is on the deed with you. What shouldn’t be a surprise is what happens to your equity afterward, and that’s where I often see people run into trouble when they’re buying with someone they’re not married to: a partner, a friend, or a whole crew of friends going in on a property together. More of my clients are structuring purchases this way than ever. And it works, as long as you know your options going in.
Do You Need to be Married to Buy a House Together?
Short answer: no. Real estate is one of the most flexible purchases you can make, and it was never built around a marriage certificate. Couples who found each other later in life, friends splitting a mortgage instead of rent, entire friend groups planning to grow old together, all of it works, no rings required.
The catch is that marriage comes with legal defaults built in, like who inherits what and who’s protected if things end. Skip the marriage, and none of that shows up automatically. So, we help you build it yourself, before you close.
Choosing Your Title: Tenants in Common Versus Joint Tenancy
For two people, the setup usually comes down to one of two structures. Tenants in common lets you split ownership however it fits, say 70/30 based on who put in more cash, and each person’s share is theirs to leave to whomever they choose. Skip that step and your share could end up with your mother or a sibling instead of the person you bought the house with.
Joint tenancy with right of survivorship works differently. You and your co-owner hold equal shares, and, if one of you dies, the other automatically inherits the whole property, no probate, no drama over who gets what. It tends to suit people who treat their finances as one shared account rather than two separate piles.
Neither option is right or wrong on its own. What matters more is the agreement behind it, drafted before you need it, the same way a prenup gets written during the good years. It should spell out what happens if someone wants out, how growth in value gets divided, and who’s allowed to sell to whom. My job is to help you think through what belongs in it, then bring in an attorney to draft it.
The Power of The Golden Girls Option
This is my favorite version of this conversation. More clients are buying property with three or four friends instead of a partner, aiming to grow older in a community they already trust instead of alone in a house nobody visits.
The math on this is better than people expect: one house cleaner instead of four, one caregiver split four ways instead of an expense nobody could justify solo. The one question everybody eventually asks is: What happens when someone in the group passes away?
We solve that inside the same agreement, usually with life insurance on each owner so the group can buy out a deceased member’s share in cash. Heirs get paid, and the house stays put.
Try Before You Buy
None of this matters if buying was the wrong move to begin with. I push clients to rent in a new neighborhood for a week before they commit, and to hold off unless they’re confident they’ll stay put for three to five years, since transaction costs often take that long to recoup.
Whatever your dream house and dream life look like (a partner who talked you into the fixer-upper, a crew of friends you want growing old next door, a family built entirely on your own terms), my team and I care about making sure the paperwork is there to support it.
If you’re working through your own version of this, unmarried, unconventional, or somewhere in between, we would love to help you build the plan around it.
Book a complimentary Make It Happen meeting to learn more: https://www.briofg.com/contact
This material presented by Brio Financial Group (“Brio”) is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for personalized investment advice or as a recommendation or solicitation of any particular security, strategy, or investment product. Facts presented have been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, however, Brio cannot guarantee the accuracy or completeness of such information, and certain information presented here may have been condensed or summarized from its original source. Brio does not provide legal or tax advice, and nothing contained in these materials should be taken as legal or tax advice. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place.
For more information about our advisory services and fees, please refer to our ADV brochure found at https://adviserinfo.sec.gov/
Brandon Miller, CFP®, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals. For more information: https://www.briofg.com/
Money Matters
Published on July 30, 2026
Recent Comments