By John Chen–
At my gym several years ago, a couple of body builders approached me with obvious anxiety and trepidation. Unsure about what was to come, I broke the ice and expressed a polite and friendly greeting. The smaller of the two Herculean-built men in a soft and slightly trembling voice asked, “What workouts do you do to get such big, strong, and incredibly shaped legs?”
Perplexed, I looked at my legs, and then theirs. I realized that my legs were clearly thicker and stronger. And my buttocks were also firmer, rounder and bubblier. (OK, I had to look.) Feeling pretty good about myself, I discreetly flexed my legs ever so slightly and eloquently responded, “Gain 50 pounds and play tennis five days a week, two hours at a time.”
If you haven’t noticed—and you should—tennis players have the best legs and buttocks!
So, you must be wondering what tennis legs have to do with the United States Gay Open (USGO). Well, the answer is simple. USGO is where you’ll see the best legs, and buttocks, on any man and woman around the world gathered on the tennis courts of Golden Gate Park. This has been happening every Memorial Day Weekend for the past 30 years.
One of the most historic and iconic LGBT sporting events in the world, the USGO is the oldest LGBT tennis tournament to date. It’s kind of like Wimbledon—just without the $50 million prize money, the beautifully manicured green grass courts, the British accent, strawberries and cream, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, etc.
Hosted annually by the Gay and Lesbian Tennis Federation (GLTF) of San Francisco, the USGO is a trailblazing event that has paved the way for nearly 70 LGBT tournaments around the world! Tournament Co-Director Gonzalo Azcona wants to make the USGO not only an historic event, but also one of the premiere stops on the international Gay and Lesbian Tennis Alliance (GLTA) tour. In recent years, competitors from as far away as France and Germany have traveled to our great destination city, San Francisco, to partake in the USGO and, of course, to sample our native, but diverse and colorful, range of legs and buttocks.
Gonzalo, who is originally from Argentina, gave up soccer (gasp!) for tennis, and doesn’t regret his decision one bit. In case you didn’t know, soccer players have the second-best set of legs and buttocks. And since Gonzalo played both sports, needless to say, he has great … well, you know. But, I digress.
Having won both the singles and doubles titles in his division at the USGO, Gonzalo wanted to make a greater impact and contribution to the iconic tournament. With his fellow Co-Tournament Directors Frank Pontes and Jeff Tolman, he is part of a talented trio who are working hard to make the USGO a favorite destination on the LGBT tennis tour. Gonzalo would like to invite and welcome tennis players of all levels—gay, straight, bi, transgender—to sign up and come out to play, tennis that is!
Maybe you’re not a tennis player, but are a fan of legs and buttocks? Then you must come out to Golden Gate Park Tennis Center this coming Memorial Day Weekend, May 26–28, and check out the hundreds of fine men and women competitors in tight shorts and miniskirts. Or come to drink, eat and be merry at the opening party hosted by Anchor Brewery in Potrero Hill, and attend the closing banquet celebration at Don Ramon in the Mission.
Make sure to say hello to Gonzalo and his fellow tournament directors as well as Paul Mabe, President of the GLTF, who would love to talk to you about tennis. And please, by all means, look below the waist! For more info on the USGO and LGBT tennis, please visit the GLTF online (gltf.org).
John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball and football teams.
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