Sing along: “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” I sang along to that catchy tune in 1972, but little did I know the lyrics were foreshadowing my life four decades later. I had no idea I would be teaching harmony to three gay asylees from opposite sides of the globe!
San Francisco’s status as a sanctuary city is quite a hot topic these days. For most of us, it is difficult to grasp the concept of “sanctuary” when it comes to a city. But, according to Abraham Maslow, we need that “place of safety” in our lives where we can be ourselves without fear. But what happens when your home or your homeland is no longer safe? Answer: political asylum.
Since arriving in San Francisco five years ago, I have been struck by this city’s collective openness to embracing all things unique. I moved from a place where difference is reluctantly tolerated to a place where it is joyfully celebrated. Our perfectly imperfect city is a magnet that attracts gloriously unique, creative souls from far and wide–all mixing into this fabulous Cioppino by the Bay.
That celebration of diversity thrives inside a community within the community that is the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, a magnet for many. The stories of the 300 singers in the Chorus are wildly fascinating and come from almost every continent on this planet (we’re waiting on Antarctica).
Now, please meet Alejandro, Oky, and Igor.
While these three men have traveled different paths on their way to the Chorus family, there is much they have in common.
All three have:
All three are gifted singers with hearts of gold.
Recently my husband and I sat down with them for a two-hour brunch in the Castro–a fabulous mix of tears, mimosas and sexy accents! It was an avalanche of emotions all around. The brunch entrée du jour was Gratitude Benedict.
Where to start? I can’t begin to tell their stories in a brief article, so you’ll only get the Cliffs Notes.
Alejandro, 53
Colombia
It was the early 1990s. A handsome young Alejandro discovered his partner was HIV+. Colombia offered poor health care, even less information, and being gay and HIV+ carried a huge stigma. Heartbroken, they left their homes and families to literally save their lives.
Alejandro says, “What started as a quest for information on HIV became a journey to a new life.”
Upon arrival in San Francisco, they realized treatment information was not available in Spanish here either, so they volunteered at Project Inform and the S.F. AIDS Foundation, helping to translate critical information, for themselves and others. Returning to Colombia was not an option—a life or death proposition. They began the arduous process of gaining asylum, which was granted on December 1, 1994, signed by then Attorney General Janet Reno.
Oky, 44
Indonesia
In 2002, after suffering a serious head injury at the hands of a family member because of his sexual orientation, Oky left home to escape further persecution and headed for the United States on a student visa to pursue his MBA. In 2006, the unthinkable happened. Oky lost his entire family in an earthquake that wiped out his city of 6,000 inhabitants.
“I knew my life would be totally changed,” Oky says. “I carry survivor’s guilt. Why them? Why not me, since I am the ‘sinner?’ I wish I had better communication when I lost them. What hurt the most—the sense of losing your home, your family and part of your identity.”
There was no longer a home or family to return to. In 2008, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency detained and jailed Oky, one of the worst experiences of his life. Upon his release, he began the asylum process. In 2010, with the process dragging on, the judge advised him that a few letters of recommendation might help. Oky asked the chorus if some members would write a note in his support. The judge received 80 letters from Oky’s SFGMC singing brothers. In 2015, Oky finally received his green card. He will be eligible for citizenship in 2018, after 16 years of struggle and staggering financial investment.
Igor, 23
Russia
Igor came out to his friends in his teens, thinking they would be cool. The novelty soon wore off and things turned very dark, with Igor fearing for his safety. In July 2014, Igor came to the United States for a visit. Over the next few months, he realized there would be no going home. He applied for asylum in December 2014. He arrived in San Francisco in 2015. Many have helped him along his journey.
Igor says, “When I arrived I was lucky to meet Pat N Leather. He and his husband, Scott, let me stay with them. Now we are family. Pat is a huge activist and knows everyone in San Francisco and sent me directly to the gay men’s chorus. I did not know one member.”
But he found an immediate, huge family. Now it is about waiting, and being ready, waiting, and paying. He did crowd-funding to assist with the extraordinarily high costs associated with asylum. Igor’s path to gaining asylum will be a long one, a prospect to which he reacts with his beautiful smile and determination.
In their own words, when they sing with the Chorus, there is no fear or shame. The Chorus is their sanctuary, a place of protection and peace–and hope. It’s a “sanctuary” choir in a “sanctuary” city. They even call it a little slice of heaven and a big slice of home! These are true profiles in courage.
Together, we are teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony.
These three incredibly wonderful men represent the tip of the iceberg. Thousands of men and women–our brothers and sisters–need our help.
What can you do?
Decide to help. Open and educate yourself to this huge community and need. Find out more at the Center for Immigrant Protection (cipsf.org). Engage with the exciting new organization, The LGBT Asylum Project. It is the only Bay Area nonprofit organization dedicated exclusively to providing pro-bono legal representation for LGBT immigrants who are fleeing persecution and seeking asylum in the United States. The organization is throwing its Official Launch Party on Wednesday, June 22, 2016, from 6:00 pm to 8:30 pm at OASIS.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1594710087486928/
Final verse: “I’d like to see the world for once all standing hand in hand and hear them echo through the hills for peace throughout the land.”
We can all make a difference.
Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.
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