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    Sister Dana sez, “Happy SAINT PATRICK’S DAY!”

    By Sister Dana Van Iquity, Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun–

    Sister Dana sez, “Happy SAINT PATRICK’S DAY! Be sure to wear green (unless you enjoy getting pinched). And ask your bartender to add green color to your beer or cocktail or soda. Also beware of leprechauns!”

    ST. PATRICK’S DAY is officially observed on March 17 each year. The significance of March 17 is that it’s said to be the date of St. Patrick’s death in the late 5th century (circa A.D. 493). Saint Patrick is the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland. He is credited with spreading Christianity throughout Ireland—hence the Christian celebration of his life and name. There are many legends about him that mix with the truth. Did he really drive all the snakes out of Ireland? Probably not, since snakes weren’t native to Ireland to begin with! Although some Christians already lived in Ireland at the time, the country was largely pagan (snakes?), so spreading a foreign religion was not an easy task. He traveled from village to village to share Christian teachings and was eventually successful enough to found many churches there. Note: Sister Dana is not Irish; but his birth name, Dennis McMillan, is very very Irish! Faith and begorrah!

    Sister Dana sez, “The four-time indicted Trump is once again selling absurd items online—ranging from a $99 ‘gold’ stinky perfume with his ugly head as the stopper topper—to $400 gold sneakers with a big ‘T’ emblazoned. Did those unfortunate online shoppers not recall Trump vodka, Trump steaks, Trump University, and countless more fraudulent gimmicks?!”

    THE IMPERIAL COUNCIL OF SAN FRANCISCO held CORONATION 59 on February 24 at the Hyatt Regency Hotel. This year’s theme was “Seasons of Love.” This was a perfect celebration of the amazing year and accomplishments of Emperor Michael Anthony Chua and Empress Cameron Stiehl-Munro with their “Unifying Court of Love and Transformation.” Congratulations to the new Most Imperial Majesties Empress Linda Summers and Emperor Bob Glas! Their court will be called “El Gran Sol of Passion, Resilience, and Universality.”

    On February 24 at the Medicine for Nightmares bookstore, we joined Bucky Sinister and Alvin Orloff for a delightfully informing evening of reading and conversation about Bucky’s new book “TO FEAR AND LOVE BAMBI LAKE.” I thought I knew the late, great Bambi, a talented Transgender chanteuse, determined to make this city fall in love with her through her heartfelt stage performances; but I learned so much more from Bucky’s (now eighth) book. This also turned into a lively discussion about Fabulosa Books owner Orloff’s tell-all, “Bulgarian Rhapsody.”

    Leave it to iconic playwright/actor John Fisher to write an action-packed play about the Russian attack on Ukraine and espionage! I happily attended closing night on February 25 of BILLY at Theatre Rhino in the Castro. Every character in the play was openly queer. The sound and light effects were astonishing! There was even nudity! But since it is over now, I will not continue raving—lest I make my readers who did not have the good fortune to see it become jealous.

    Sister Dana sez, “Has anyone else noticed the lack of appearances of Melania Trump at Donald’s many trials and campaign events? She has gotta be the WORST First Lady in history!”

    A note to clock watchers: DAY LIGHT SAVING TIME begins March 10, Sunday at 2 am—when you must move all clocks ahead (“spring forward”) an hour local time. We will lose an hour of sleep because of this unusual practice. March 10 is also the 96th ACADEMY AWARDS. Guess which March 10 date Sister Dana prefers? You would be correct in knowing this nun, a friend of Dorothy, is also a “friend of Oscar.”

    Sister Dana sez, “On this second anniversary of War in Ukraine, I hope you Republican Congress people had ‘lovely’ vacations—while Russia advances and U.S. can’t send badly needed aid and defense weaponry to the Ukraine. I hope you all got extremely painful sunburns! You’re burnt!”

    SAN FRANCISCO PRIDE presented the annual KEN JONES AWARDS Ceremony on February 29 at Hilton Union Square in luxurious Cityscape Lounge. Ken Jones (1950–2021) was an instrumental figure in the integration of the San Francisco LGBTQ movement beginning in the early 1970s. This lifelong LGBTQ activist was known as “The Father of Diversity” in San Francisco, where he worked tirelessly to desegregate the LGBTQ movement. He became (the first Black) President of the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day Parade committee in 1980, and was with the organization for over a decade before leaving to focus on police reform work following the Rodney King beating. In 2017, he served as a vital consultant on the dramatic, historic miniseries, When We Rise.

    At the ceremony, we heard truly inspirational speeches by current (first ever Vietnamese) Pride Board President Nguyen Pham (wearing his gorgeous pink high heels) and current (first ever transgender) Pride Executive Director Suzanne Ford. Together, the entire team of Pride-dedicated individuals brings the SAN FRANCISCO LGBTQ PRIDE CELEBRATION AND PARADE to life, creating a vibrant and powerful celebration of LGBTQ identity and community.

    The eight recipients of the Ken Jones Awards were as follows: 10 Years of Service Award for those organizations, individuals, or other entities that have contributed ten years of consecutive service to the LGBTQ community—to Michelle Alcedo—former Openhouse Director, advocate for Senior LGBT services; Pride Freedom Award for outstanding contributions to advancing civil rights and freedoms for LGBTQ people—to Yoseñio V. Lewis—Trans masculine activist, educator, and writer; Pride Community Award for outstanding service to LGBTQ communities—to Stephen John Torres—journalist, activist, cultural promoter; Gilbert Baker Pride Founder’s Awardhonoring those who have made a significant and historical impact on the LGBTQ community and the movement for LGBTQ rights—to Zwazzi Sowö—social services professional, social justice activist; Audrey Joseph LGBTQ Entertainment Award to honor those who have made a significant and historical impact or left an indelible impression on the LGBTQ community and the movement for LGBTQ rights, through their artistic expression, or through their contribution within the entertainment industry—toDennis McMillan (Sister Dana Van Iquity)—journalist, writer, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence since 1985 (Sister Dana had the additional honor of Sister Roma introducing me); José Julio Sarria History Maker Award to Bay Area people who make extraordinary changes in the way society views the LGBTQ community—toAdela Vázquez—Cuban-born trans woman, Trans-Latina advocate and community leader; Teddy Witherington Award recognizing those individuals who have contributed a longstanding, large body of work to the LGBTQ community—to Marsha H. Levine—longtime leader with Boston Pride, San Francisco Pride, and InterPride; and Pride Creativity Award for outstanding artistic contribution to the LGBTQ communities—to Marcel Pardo Ariza—non-binary artist, educator, and curator. For all the photos and fascinating biographies of all eight awardees, be sure to click onto

    Sister Dana sez, “So we thought overturning Roe vs Wade with anti-abortion laws was awful. But there’s more! The Alabama Supreme Court has ruled that FROZEN EMBRYOS are CHILDREN! And to throw one away (which happens often with IVF patients trying to have children) is the same as WRONGFUL DEATH!”

    Sister Dana sez, “So what’s next? Arresting married couples for using a condom—because every sperm is sacred?!”

    To anyone and everyone who might question President Biden’s ability to serve a second term: allow me to quote California Governor Gavin Newsom: “I revere his record. What he’s done in three years has been a master-class—close to 15 million jobs, that’s eight times more than the last three Republican presidents combined.” He continued, “The economy is booming, inflation is cooling, we have American manufacturing coming back home—all because of Biden’s wisdom, because of his temperance, his capacity to lead in a bipartisan manner, which is an underrepresented point. And so, I have great confidence moving forward … in terms of the next four years!”

    Adding to all that praise, after Biden’s annual physical on February 28, Kevin C. O’Connor, Physician to the President, declared Biden is “a healthy, active, robust 81-year-old male, who remains fit to successfully execute the duties of the Presidency.” O’Connor also assured that Biden does not need a mental fitness test. The White House officially stated that the President proves his cognitive abilities every single day by doing his job.

    Sister Dana sez, “The Budgetary ‘Soap Opera’ continues. Will Republican ‘Kick the Can’ Congress people meet the March 8 deadline and avoid partial government shutdown, or will they keep kicking the can down the road? Stay tuned!”

    SQREAM is a hysterical drag horror parody (like the Scream—but queer—movie series) set to all our favorite hit songs of the 1990s. Join the gang as they navigate a super queer who-dunnit musical that spans the entire OASIS nightclub. Who will survive? Who is the killer behind the gay Ghost-face mask? Find out this and more in a night of singing, dancing, blood-drenched comedy that is campy, sexy, and also gory. They’re ready to slay … are you? Terror strikes the Oasis, 298 11th Street, now through March 23.

    Audrey Joseph LGBTQ Entertainment Award recipient Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana) with Chris Michaelson (left) at San Francisco Pride’s Ken Jones Awards held on Thursday, February 29, at the Hilton Union Square’s Cityscape Lounge.
    Photo by Niko Storement / San Francisco Pride

     On February 26, Manhattan prosecutors requested a gag order on terrible Trump to protect jurors and witnesses in the first criminal trial of a former president. The filings noted Trump’s “longstanding history of attacking witnesses, investigators, prosecutors, judges, and others involved in legal proceedings against him.” Sister Dana sez, “If you or I violated a gag order, would we not be sent directly to jail? There is absolutely NO ‘magic immunity’ for a former president!”

    FALSETTOS is celebrated as a defining work in the canon of American musical theater. With its blend of humor, heartache, and musical ingenuity, Falsettos captures the essence of human connection. This show, which has garnered Tony Awards for Best Book and Original Score, invites audiences to explore the complexities of love, identity, and the beauty of chosen families. Through March 17 at the Gateway Theatre, 215 Jackson Street.

    Sister Dana sez, “Regarding the Supreme Court’s 5 to 4 decision for Trump to remain on all the states’ ballots, this should be renamed the WORST Court!”

    March 19, 7 pm at Fabulosa Books, 489 Castro Street, hear author Nathan Tavares read from his latest novel, WELCOME TO FOREVER. This is a sweeping, psychedelic romance of two men caught in a looping world of artificial realities, edited memories, secretive cabals, and conspiracies to push humanity to the next step in its evolution.

    Sister Dana sez, “To ex-prez and Narcissist-in-Chief Trump, I quote the wisdom of sit-com genius writer Chuck Lorre: ‘The problem with being a narcissist is you’re too self-involved to notice narcissism in others. On the bright side, when you do, it’s a sign of personal growth.’ I dare you to experience personal growth, Donald!”

    Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun
    Published on March 7, 2024