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    Sister Dana Sez: Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

    Sister Dana sez, “Let’s stop focusing on Anthony Weiner’s reDICKulous adDICKtion to exposing his wiener, and instead concentrate on getting openly lesbian progressive Christine Quinn elected the first gay Big Apple mayor!”

    And speaking of NYC, I got to interview my favorite Broadway musical veteran, Carole Cook, who will be featured in the August 18th HELP IS ON THE WAY fundraiser for RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION at the Palace Theatre. I said, “Allow me to gush for a moment. I am SUCH a fan of yours for decades now. You are funny, naughty, witty, and very very talented! I am always thrilled when you are on the bill of a fundraiser I am attending.”

    She said, “I love Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation for one simple reason: They have their heart where their mouth is. I believe in the cause, and I’ll keep doing it, as I have now for 17 years. And you know, if I’m working for free for 17 years, sweetheart, I have to love it!

    When did AIDS first touch your life?

    I remember it vividly – 1984 when I was doing “42nd Street” in L.A., having done the New York production, and one of my best friends became ill with a disease we didn’t know what it was or how you got it. It was a bad time and a death sentence back then. And I remember there was no organization to help at that time. My husband and I and about 20 friends pooled our money monthly to pay for his rent, food, and animal care – anything we could do to help. And then we began to know a lot of people – way too many – with what we called “the plague.”

    How did you get into show business?

    Truthfully, I never wanted to do anything else, darling Dana, but I was in Abilene, Texas, for God’s sake. So I went to New York and was told, “Now Carole, to get ahead in this business, you have to sleep around.” Trust me, I slept. A lot. I mean, I’m the most rested girl in show biz.

    What’s your favorite musical you were in? Why?

    My favorites are two I starred in, “Mame” and “Hello Dolly.” Carol Channing was the first Dolly and I was the second. Let’s be honest. Everybody would love to have an Auntie Mame and a Dolly in their lives. They are two wonderful characters with big hearts who made people smile while questioning themselves. And who doesn’t love coming down a long flight of stairs in a big red dress and forty handsome men accompanying you?! I told Gower Champion I believe an orangutan could play those parts, the way he fixed it.

    Where do you get your over-the-top, really flashy outfits you wear at REAF fundraisers?

    What a trashy thing to say, Sister Dana! No, I’m gonna be quite honest with you. I get all my clothes from drag queens, circus performers, and nuns that have gone bad.

    Can you please give me a sneak-peek taste of what you are planning to do at the “Help Is on the Way 19”?

    My darling, let me be truthful with you. If I told you what I was going to do in the REAF show, you would know, and then I would have to have you killed. So you will not know, because I want you to stay alive, sweetheart!

    She said she was excited to come to SF and see her friends here, and then she broke into “San Francisco” as we said goodbye.

    So, HELP IS ON THE WAY XIX: THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT, 19th annual REAF gala, is this year’s all-star benefit concert featuring celebrities from Broadway, TV, film, and the recording industry. It’s jazz, pop and live performance, up close and personal, from some of our favorite performers. The four Bay Area AIDS service agencies that are the beneficiaries are AIDS Housing Alliance, Aguilas, Project Open Hand, and Shanti. Sunday, August 18 at The Palace of Fine Arts, 3301 Lyon Street. Silent auction and VIP party, 5pm; pre-show gala reception, 6–7:30pm, with complimentary hors d’oeuvres, wine tasting and martini & margarita bars; concert 7:30 – 10pm; dessert and wine party with the cast, 10-11:45 pm. Tix at or (415) 273-1620. See you there!

    To commemorate the GAY ASIAN PACIFIC ALLIANCE 25TH ANNUAL MR. AND MISS GAPA PAGEANT, GAPA honored old and new Hollywood alike at the Lam Research Theatre at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts during RUNWAY SILVER SCREEN (get it? 25 years? Silver? Clever). The iconic Tita Aida femceed with her usual sass and class. The judges were Rose Chung, Miss Asian America pageant founder; Stuart Gaffney, Marriage Equality USA API outreach director; Joyce Juan-Manalo, Kearny Street Workshop manager; Fides Enriquez, New Art Media vice president, Chi Chi La Woo, Asian American Recovery Services addiction treatment specialist; and David Chiu, SF Board of Supervisors president. The show opened with the silver screen portraying all the past Mr. and Miss GAPA titleholders as “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole played. This was also the step-down for Mr. GAPA Jethro and Miss GAPA Jezebel, both of whom entertained with delightful song and dance all evening. The stars and starlets (contestants) were introduced. Vying for Miss GAPA were Anya, Brenda Dong, Estee Longah, Khmera Rouge, Lily Rose, Reva Le’Shon, Nelyce, and Yolanda de Plane. Running for Mr. GAPA were C.C. Kago, Doncha Vishyuwuzme, Sir Whitney Queers, and Sothea. Next was the “Fantasy” part of the contest, where contestants displayed their talents and fantasies in executions and costuming ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous – but always quite entertaining, accompanied by illustrative videos overhead.

    Further entertaining were the Rice Rockettes, a troupe of dancing, lip-synching drag queens made up of two former Miss GAPAs, one former Mr. GAPA, and countless first and second princes and princesses. They “Shined Bright like a Diamond,” since “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend,” etc. Also entertaining was Florante Aguilar with Philippine guitar music. The stage was then filled with the living past titleholders taking their bows. This was followed by the eveningwear competition and Q&A from the judges. After judges tallied their votes, trophies were awarded. Boy Next Door and Girl Next Door was by audience vote. BND was Sir Whitney. GND was Lily Rose. Favorite Fantasy was Brenda Dong with her hilarious wannabe Paula Deen replacement and finger-lickin’ chicken flickin’ at the audience. Most Photogenic was a tie between Doncha and Lily Rose. Most Congenial was Sir Whitney. Second Prince was C.C. Kago, First Prince was Doncha. Mr. GAPA 2013 is now Sir Whitney Queers. Second Princess was Brenda Dong. First Princess was Estee Longah. Miss GAPA 2013 is now Khmera Rouge. May their reign be most prosperous, earning much money and fame for the Asian and Pacific Islander communities!

    The entire Folsom Street Events team of staff, board, volunteers, and sponsors wants to express their thanks to all those who made the UP YOUR ALLEY FAIR such a success, supporting many worthy beneficiaries. UYA will be back again next year on July 27. But we’ll see all you pervs at FOLSOM FAIR on September 29!


    The 18th annual SAN FRANCISCO DRAG KING CONTEST, the biggest drag king competition in the world, co-hosted by Fudgie Frottage and Sister Roma, is Saturday, August 17, SPACE 550 – 550 Barneveld Avenue, to benefit PAWS – Pets Are Wonderful Support,

    A HOME AT THE END OF THE WORLD screens for free for seniors, Wednesday, August 14th, 2pm, 30th Street Senior Center, 225 30th Street, near Dolores.

    SOUNDS OF SILENCE is the current art exhibit by Z MCGARIGLE at Magnet, the Castro hub of health and wellbeing for gay/bi men, 4122 18th Street. “I’m fascinated by the constant flow of facts and other information pouring into our minds; especially the information our conscious mind deems important,” says McGarigle. “This, in turn, affects our relationships and how we relate to others. But it’s always our unconscious emotions that end up guiding us, making decisions, and ultimately changing us.” He adds, “With hostile societal messages bombarding gay men, this process is amplified as we juggle even more information, defining who we are and our relationships to each other as well as our environment.” The gallery includes four acrylics on canvas and two mixed media on canvas. I, as an imprisoned MUNI rider, am especially drawn to his “Information Gladly Given, But Safety Requires Avoiding Unnecessary Conversation” with this man’s fixed gaze through piercing grey eyes and lips sewn shut.

    Adult flick pick: Sexo en Barcelona from es muy caliente!

    Sister Dana sez, “Three cheers and an alleluia to Pope Francis for saying he was not one to judge gay priests or homosexuality. Never mind the part about homo sex (he’s got a way to go on that one); but he sure can teach a thing or two to Arch-Bigot Cordilione!”